Falling out with people over your opinions.

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
True, it's something I find hard to grasp, I have a Spanish friend, and we have very opposing political views.
We know this of each other, yet we are capable of each giving their point of view, and there are no rows about this.
This is how it should be, I think.
But it feels to me that many people are not up to that standard.

There can be many reasons as to how rows develop. Often it's because emotion is the overriding driving force coupled with an almost fervent desire to protect their sacred beliefs at any costs. By sacred by the way, I don't just mean that of a religious nature , but rather any sort of ideals which someone may be strigently locked into.

Then of course, you may get one or more individuals whipping up the room with their opinions/beliefs and so eventually creating such a febrile atmosphere, you'll get a wolf pack mentality developing leading to those holding differing views to be targets to be attacked.

For the record, I like to point out that I'm no saint and in no way trying to portray a holier than thou impressio. , I've been caught up myself with this is in the past and also, for those holding and openly displaying hateful, harmful, cruel views, then I'm likely to loose my honeysuckle just like the next man.
 
I think one important reason is that people mimic the behaviour of politicians.
These days often they don't even try to have a debate, they just tweet their own opinion, and the others are more seen as enemies than as opponents.
I take Spanish conversation classes, and I can see how people in them simply copy the arguments of the party they vote for.
Most of them are unable to come up with anything different from what they saw on TV.
Personally, I watch those opinions too, but I always think what my own opinion is, and it does not need to be the same one as the party I voted for responds.
Sometimes I even come up with new arguments that I have not heard anywhere else.
I can see how this confuses others, they act as if I must have seen some debate they have missed, because they don't remember my arguments being told by any of the politicians, or because of my position in a previous debate they classified me as belonging to a certain party, but then in the next I am defending something else than that party's point of view.
 
I feel like debating is a skill that has been completely untrained to anyone my age and younger as debating is considered offensive. It really shows, people have no clue how to keep things objective anymore, they have to always get personal and off topic.

Because of this, there is no way for people to appreciate someone else's view point or opinions
 
It’s not just politics and religion. I’ve found most people end a conversation if you don’t like the exact same music, movies, TV shows, food, ect ect, or disagree with them on anything at all, no matter how politely you may do it. Sometimes I think a lot of people really just want a clone of themselves.
This too!
I don't know if the problem is with me but I find myself just keeping all these to myself for fear of getting labelled and judged for liking certain music or movie. It's also come to the point where some people (usually online) can't separate some problematic thing some author or musician or filmmaker said from their work? For example liking J.K Rowling's books means you also support her transphobic views? What if someone liked their work before they said those things? So just throw out all their books and renounce them? Man, I don't know I find online interaction just super exhausting.
 
I hate debates in Britain today, some people if you make a point that they don't like you worry that they will just beat you up. Will Self has repeatedly threatened people with violence in debates on TV, surely that kind of behaviour shouldn't be allowed, why even bother debating if someone is just going to get physical if you start making points that they don't like.
 
It’s not just politics and religion. I’ve found most people end a conversation if you don’t like the exact same music, movies, TV shows, food, ect ect, or disagree with them on anything at all, no matter how politely you may do it. Sometimes I think a lot of people really just want a clone of themselves.
Surely any remotely reasonable person would understand that there are plenty of situations where people are going to have different opinions.
 
A friend judged me for going to the Dave Chappelle gig, and when I told them I was invited they said I should never speak to that person again :rolleyes:

I don't know that much about the Dave Chappelle controversy, other than him having Elon Musk on stage right after he fired a bunch of people at Twitter. I don't think that was too cool, but at the same time, I don't think it's fair to judge audience members for going to Chappelle's performances. It's possible for people to go to shows, without agreeing with the performer's views.

The way I see it, you just went because it was something to do. It doesn't mean you endorse everything he says.

I think your friend is making a big deal out of nothing, to be honest.


Btw, I noticed the new picture. Who is it?
 
I don't know that much about the Dave Chappelle controversy, other than him having Elon Musk on stage right after he fired a bunch of people at Twitter. I don't think that was too cool, but at the same time, I don't think it's fair to judge audience members for going to Chappelle's performances. It's possible for people to go to shows, without agreeing with the performer's views.

The way I see it, you just went because it was something to do. It doesn't mean you endorse everything he says.

I think your friend is making a big deal out of nothing, to be honest.


Btw, I noticed the new picture. Who is it?

The controversy is more to do with his mostly harmless (if inane and unfunny) jokes about trans people.

It's from Midnight Eye Goku.
 
I'm very right wing. Some may say ultra.
But I have some very liberal friends.
I'd hate to live in a world where differing political (or any other) philosophies mean people can't like each other or find common ground.
 
The controversy is more to do with his mostly harmless (if inane and unfunny) jokes about trans people.

It's from Midnight Eye Goku.
He's a comedian. They're jokes. Unless, like was the case with a French humorist named Dieudonné who was, makes an apology for violence or hate against certain groups, just don't go if you don't like him. Mike Ward here does trash humor, I think he's an idiot and find his jokes spineless, unfunny sexist cliché crap, but I don't judge those who do lol. I just won't pay to see him. If I meet him on the street, I'll still shake his hand.
 
I feel like debating is a skill that has been completely untrained to anyone my age and younger as debating is considered offensive. It really shows, people have no clue how to keep things objective anymore, they have to always get personal and off topic.

Because of this, there is no way for people to appreciate someone else's view point or opinions
I think facebook contributed to this attitude, for years you could only like things.
This creates an attitude where you either express that you like something or you shut up.
Criticism is not appreciated.
 
I'm so used to people coming and going over trivial reasons that I'm just mostly unphased by it. I mean, I lived in a college town for 6 years, and I've been in management professionally for about 5 years, so I guess I'm mostly anesthetized to it.

It is shitty when it's someone I really like or enjoy the company and conversation with though. But because of the frequency of it happening, I actively try to keep myself from getting that attached to anyone anymore.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top