Falling out

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cyan

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How I handle things in general now is a lot different than the way it used to be. Despite being frustrated at losing friendships/relationships I still always care, and I wanna see you eat just not at my table if you're gonna make me feel unloved, you know?

Today I removed my longest "friend" from my life.. from back in high school, so around 10 years of friendship since then, now down the drain. I don't want to give up on people because it hurt when people gave up on me. But I feel like for so long I would give out countless chances like candy despite feeling disrespected. 💀 I really had to take a step back recently and see what is benefiting my life and what is only spoiling it. I'd fit it all here but that'd be an essay.. You would think people who value you would want to communicate how they feel to you, and you would think that when the opportunity presents itself to them directly to let you know what's going on, adult to adult.. they would take it... right?? Not just dismiss you as if nothing is ever wrong, but then continuously show you by their actions they feel differently. I feel like people take having such instant access to a person nowadays for granted and that's just insane to me. Anyhow. I'm proud of myself for drawing the line at this, as I'm still learning to stick up for myself more, I still never imagined a day of being relieved about it. It's a bummer but life is full of loss in many ways I guess. 😵‍💫
 
yes. once we accept that life is a myriad of positives and negatives, and that we should expect such things to come into our lives, that they're inevitable, it's easier to shrug it off as things that just happen.
 
yes. once we accept that life is a myriad of positives and negatives, and that we should expect such things to come into our lives, that they're inevitable, it's easier to shrug it off as things that just happen.
Yeah, and it helps when you really debate something for a while, and you know you make the right decision in the end. It sucks, but yeah it's just easier to accept that it happens!
 
I hope your weekend is filled with much more joy and relaxation we are here if you ever feal the need to reach out have a wonderful day cyan. :) you deserve it.
 
How I handle things in general now is a lot different than the way it used to be. Despite being frustrated at losing friendships/relationships I still always care, and I wanna see you eat just not at my table if you're gonna make me feel unloved, you know?

Today I removed my longest "friend" from my life.. from back in high school, so around 10 years of friendship since then, now down the drain. I don't want to give up on people because it hurt when people gave up on me. But I feel like for so long I would give out countless chances like candy despite feeling disrespected. 💀 I really had to take a step back recently and see what is benefiting my life and what is only spoiling it. I'd fit it all here but that'd be an essay.. You would think people who value you would want to communicate how they feel to you, and you would think that when the opportunity presents itself to them directly to let you know what's going on, adult to adult.. they would take it... right?? Not just dismiss you as if nothing is ever wrong, but then continuously show you by their actions they feel differently. I feel like people take having such instant access to a person nowadays for granted and that's just insane to me. Anyhow. I'm proud of myself for drawing the line at this, as I'm still learning to stick up for myself more, I still never imagined a day of being relieved about it. It's a bummer but life is full of loss in many ways I guess. 😵‍💫
You know this speaks to me, why, maybe because it's 4 am and I'm overthinking (I make the worse choices at 4 am lol) but... truthfully I am like that, I never want someone to starve or not make it in this world, just dont particularly want to share the table, thats it.

I dont try to crush them, but I cant say the same I true for how people treat me, my ex friends... they want me depressed, crushed, abused, confused, hated by everyone, for reasons I just cant comprehend. Maybe I always hurt people way more than they hurt me because I put so much in, I always take more out? idk. But often where I think it's peace and love, where I think I'm still rooting for you, it's one sided and no one... is rooting for me. How truly sad.
 
It's ok to write people off your life. Sometimes people go in different directions and you two are no longer the same when you became friends. I had a friend in college who I enjoyed being goofy around but last year, we reconnected and he's exactly the same way he was when we were 18. That got old quick. After a series of irresponsible decisions where I had to help him out, I concluded this is not someone I need in my life anymore and stopped responding to his contacts because I knew he would need something from me to help him through a boneheaded decision. I don't regret ending that friendship. In the end, you can do what is best for you. I'm not saying dump everyone who needs something from you - but in life some people are givers, and some are takers. It should be balanced that even if someone is a taker, they can give too. Otherwise, why be around someone who only takes from you whether it be energy, positivity, money, time, sanity, etc.?
 
How I handle things in general now is a lot different than the way it used to be. Despite being frustrated at losing friendships/relationships I still always care, and I wanna see you eat just not at my table if you're gonna make me feel unloved, you know?

Today I removed my longest "friend" from my life.. from back in high school, so around 10 years of friendship since then, now down the drain. I don't want to give up on people because it hurt when people gave up on me. But I feel like for so long I would give out countless chances like candy despite feeling disrespected. 💀 I really had to take a step back recently and see what is benefiting my life and what is only spoiling it. I'd fit it all here but that'd be an essay.. You would think people who value you would want to communicate how they feel to you, and you would think that when the opportunity presents itself to them directly to let you know what's going on, adult to adult.. they would take it... right?? Not just dismiss you as if nothing is ever wrong, but then continuously show you by their actions they feel differently. I feel like people take having such instant access to a person nowadays for granted and that's just insane to me. Anyhow. I'm proud of myself for drawing the line at this, as I'm still learning to stick up for myself more, I still never imagined a day of being relieved about it. It's a bummer but life is full of loss in many ways I guess. 😵‍💫
Respect is very important in a friendship..if your so-called friend cannot have the decency to be open, honest and treat you right he/she is an acquaintance at best.
No matter how special or long the friendship, you cannot expect to say or do anything and things to be business as usual.
It’s a bummer that you could not work things out but life goes on!
 

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