Feeling Sorry For Yourself?

[TropicalStarfish]

I've never really been accused of feeling sorry for myself, in the past. And, an older version of myself, the person I was in my 20's, at a certain time, definitely had more of a, 'take it on the chin and continue to grin,' sort of attitude.

I liked that attitude; it was empowering. I liked that person I was; even though he didn't particularly like where he was at the time. It was sort of like, being swept up by a tornado, but knowing you had that sucker by the balls, even if the world around you was nothing but a swirling chaos. I had something to cling to, even if only in some small moments, when everything seemed utterly hopeless.

I feel sorry for myself a lot now, however. And, I reckon I've been doing it for years. Maybe not in the worst ways possible; but, bad enough. Yet, I know, it's not possible for me to be any different. At this moment, with this realization, I think I could make small improvements. And I hope I do. But, it won't be enough; or perhaps, more optimistically, it may not be enough.

Admittedly, it's a complex idea, "feeling, 'sorry,' for one's self."


Do you feel sorry for yourself often? What does it mean to you, to feel sorry for yourself?

Pause for a while, before you respond, if you like. You may have something very valuable to contribute; something that is far more valuable than your opinion, even if it is contained therein.

 

[Unsigned]

Do you feel sorry for yourself often? What does it mean to you, to feel sorry for yourself?

I suppose I do.
To me, it means constantly rehashing the past and what I believe I missed out on, and longing for some kind of retribution (from God I suppose), like winning the lottery or something. Which of course will never happen. It's very unproductive and only serves to feed the cycle of depression and heavy alcohol consumption.

 

[okidoke]

Sometimes. When everything seems to go wrong, I can't help but reflect on how so much has gone wrong in my past. When I feel very lonely, knowing that I don't have anyone really to turn to. It reduces me to a pathetic sook, but I'm aware I'm feeling sorry for myself and that it's temporary, and almost cyclic, and that I'll be fine in the next day or two, so I don't respond poorly to people like I used to anymore. I just feel like it's temporary mood and I busy myself with things so I'm not dwelling too much on things that I feel have caused me to feel that way. I've only been able to have such realisations for about a year. It's made a huge difference.

 

[Intrama]

Yeah, I really get caught up in it. As long as I can remember.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

For sure.

It feels like I will always be a 'side character' in other people's stories, rather than a 'main character' of my own. I'm there to help other people with their struggles and issues, but I will remain on my own.

 

[mr.meeseeks]

to me that saying means: I have tried enough to get a GF to the point I am free from that supposed biological obligation.

to me feeling sorry for my self means: I am at a point where I am validated in my past efforts not to feel regret for giving up on society.

it means I have only myself to count on.

 

[Sir Joseph]

I've never really been accused of feeling sorry for myself, in the past. And, an older version of myself, the person I was in my 20's, at a certain time, definitely had more of a, 'take it on the chin and continue to grin,' sort of attitude.

I liked that attitude; it was empowering. I liked that person I was; even though he didn't particularly like where he was at the time. It was sort of like, being swept up by a tornado, but knowing you had that sucker by the balls, even if the world around you was nothing but a swirling chaos. I had something to cling to, even if only in some small moments, when everything seemed utterly hopeless.

I feel sorry for myself a lot now, however. And, I reckon I've been doing it for years. Maybe not in the worst ways possible; but, bad enough. Yet, I know, it's not possible for me to be any different. At this moment, with this realization, I think I could make small improvements. And I hope I do. But, it won't be enough; or perhaps, more optimistically, it may not be enough.

Admittedly, it's a complex idea, "feeling, 'sorry,' for one's self."


Do you feel sorry for yourself often? What does it mean to you, to feel sorry for yourself?

Pause for a while, before you respond, if you like. You may have something very valuable to contribute; something that is far more valuable than your opinion, even if it is contained therein.

I know you and I share different religious beliefs TropicalStarfish, but you've also shown respect and ability to discuss serious things without offense. So, let me give you my Christian perspective on your point, and maybe it might prompt some encouragement for you or someone else here.

While the Lord's blessed me with an extraordinarily interesting, enjoyable, good life, I've still managed to make a lot of mistakes and see my share of unfair treatment or circumstances. Whenever I start feeling deprived or dissatisfied with past circumstances or outcomes, I counter them with two thoughts that quickly subdue feeling sorry for myself.

Not everyone in the world can say this, but I, like most Americans, can assess my standard of living, freedom, security, and leisure time pursuits and see that my overall quality life is much better than many others in the world. It does little good to compare ourselves to others, but when I do, I realize that I'm one of the fortunate ones. Rarely, do my regrets match the pain and suffering being endured from those facing war, disease, famine, imprisonment, torture, or abuse. Even my deficiencies in love and family are overshadowed by those worse off. So, point one whenever I start feeling sorry for myself is to redirect my thoughts to my blessings. Dismiss or at least downplay the have-nots and focus on the haves.

My second thought for countering any self pity or dissatisfaction with life has become much more important as I age. I don't like my physically degrading body and I miss the fun, active things I used to do. My ONLY countering comfort for this is to focus on what I have as a Christian. Through faith in Jesus Christ I know that this temporary, failing body of mine will later be transformed into a new, perfect one. Thus, the deficiencies and problems I face now in this temporary life are insignificant compared to the eternal glorious life that lies ahead for me. Having Jesus as my Lord and Savior and God's Spirit within me gives me enough peace, joy, and hope to counter any reasons for me to feel sorry for myself. This is a good place to be that I encourage for all others.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I know you and I share different religious beliefs TropicalStarfish, but you've also shown respect and ability to discuss serious things without offense. So, let me give you my Christian perspective on your point, and maybe it might prompt some encouragement for you or someone else here.

While the Lord's blessed me with an extraordinarily interesting, enjoyable, good life, I've still managed to make a lot of mistakes and see my share of unfair treatment or circumstances. Whenever I start feeling deprived or dissatisfied with past circumstances or outcomes, I counter them with two thoughts that quickly subdue feeling sorry for myself.

Not everyone in the world can say this, but I, like most Americans, can assess my standard of living, freedom, security, and leisure time pursuits and see that my overall quality life is much better than many others in the world. It does little good to compare ourselves to others, but when I do, I realize that I'm one of the fortunate ones. Rarely, do my regrets match the pain and suffering being endured from those facing war, disease, famine, imprisonment, torture, or abuse. Even my deficiencies in love and family are overshadowed by those worse off. So, point one whenever I start feeling sorry for myself is to redirect my thoughts to my blessings. Dismiss or at least downplay the have-nots and focus on the haves.

My second thought for countering any self pity or dissatisfaction with life has become much more important as I age. I don't like my physically degrading body and I miss the fun, active things I used to do. My ONLY countering comfort for this is to focus on what I have as a Christian. Through faith in Jesus Christ I know that this temporary, failing body of mine will later be transformed into a new, perfect one. Thus, the deficiencies and problems I face now in this temporary life are insignificant compared to the eternal glorious life that lies ahead for me. Having Jesus as my Lord and Savior and God's Spirit within me gives me enough peace, joy, and hope to counter any reasons for me to feel sorry for myself. This is a good place to be that I encourage for all others.

Thnx for your input. I agree, one's blessings are an important point to ponder, when one succumbs to self-pity. I'd like to believe no matter how small a blessing or blessings may be, in contrast to one's misfortune, if perceived the right way, they can be enormous.

As far as old age and death goes. I may have more to learn; but, today, in the morning, I saw a family of quails. There was a mom and pop quail and their 5 or 6, tiny, cute little children, heh. What a beautiful sight! Really brought a ray of sunshine to my day, for a brief moment, on any otherwise sunny day. heh

 

[Sometimes]

Hell yeah! I feel well and truly sorry for myself right now. Last year at this same time I felt grateful for what I have, and what I have hasn't changed at all since then. Still, I've landed in this emotional sinkhole again. WTF.

For me it feels like grief, like a great loss. I'm still trying to work out what I'm grieving and what to do about it. I suspect it has alot to do with aging - it's easier to muster optimism when there's lots of time for stuff to maybe happen, and you're busy trying to push your life into a shape you can be pleased with.

It also feels like boredom - I've done all this before, all the cr*p I do every day, and I need a new challenge, but I have no idea right now what that would be.

I'm relentless when pursuing a goal though, and right now I have a goal of getting out of this hole of misery. I'll have to get creative. So to help me express my grief and try a new challenge I've started learning to play the bagpipes. Thus providing a challenge as well for those around me.

 

[isthatso]

Do you feel sorry for yourself often? What does it mean to you, to feel sorry for yourself

I'm feeling sorry for myself right now.
Because my dog bit me today.
At the vets. While he was getting an injection. Maybe should have had a muzzle on the. But he's got an aversion to muzzles. His list of aversion grows as my aversion to him grows.
I'm seriously considering euthanasia. More for my sake than his.
Yes this is the cute dog I was describing a few weeks ago. Love him to death but recently he's got me scared.

 

[isthatso]

Every time I feel sorry for myself I feel annoyed with myself. For being so weak. When there are so many others in worse situations.
I admire the tough stoics but I'm prone to maudlin self pity.