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Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

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Puppykat56

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Even writing this greeting is hard. People have become so judgmental. Everyone comments on everything! I couldn’t imagine being on Twitter or Instagram. So the reason I’m here is the same as everyone else’s - I’ve become one of those lonely, socially stifled seniors. In 2013, my daughter was accepted to grad school in another state and my third marriage had tanked so I relocated with her. I got a job with state government for a few years, but ended up with a couple of truly nasty supervisors so I retired early. I met some nice people while working, but no real friendships, and after one lunch date in 2014, I realized my dating days were over. I’ve been retired for 3 years. I have no friends at all in this state, and seldom text a couple of friends in my previous state. I live with my adult daughter for financial reasons but now she wants to live with her boyfriend, whom I find immature and aimless, but she has a right to her own choices. I find myself at a crossroads now, not sure what to do. I have no friends to discuss this with and am now forced to confront my isolation. My days of roommates are also long gone. I’m too set in my ways. I’m lonely, but I love my privacy. So here I am in this pickle, wanting to converse with strangers in the same boat. My love of horror movies has prepared me to survive a zombie apocalypse, but not real life. Funny how things turn out, right?
 

TheRealCallie

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Welcome to ALL :)
What kind of community do you live in? Is it like an apartment building or houses that you might get to know your neighbors a little better?
 

Claudia1794

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Are you willing to meet people and put yourself out there? If so, I would start with taking a class on something. Not like a paint party, that’s geared more toward already formed groups of friends wanting to do something together. Something that there’s going to be like 10 or more sessions like French cuisine, watercolors, knitting/crocheting...stuff like that. The gym I go to has a pool and they have a water aerobics class that I’ve been saying I was going to sign up for. I haven’t because I don’t do well with others face to face. I know that bonds can be formed like that because I used to teach girls how to knit, crochet, and embroider. They are still friends. Oh yeah! I loved your remark about your daughters boyfriend.
 

Minus

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Welcome to the forums :)
 
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Welcome to the forum and welcome to the socially stifled seniors club. We are all interested in having quality friends. We just don't want to interact with anybody in order to do it. Ha! ha!
 

Puppykat56

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Welcome to the forum and welcome to the socially stifled seniors club. We are all interested in having quality friends. We just don't want to interact with anybody in order to do it. Ha! ha!
Yeah, I guess I forgot to mention that my love affair with people in general ended around the time I relocated in 2013. I call it just “disappointment saturation”. I retired in 2019, six months before the pandemic began, and I had already begun a voluntary withdrawal from humankind. I WANT friends, but I know I can’t handle the social implications. And someone mentioned making friends with my neighbors but that’s never a good idea, even in the best of times. I used to be a very social person but now, people are impossible to trust.
 

TropicalStarfish

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Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your current circumstances. I've always been fine being alone; but, it's gotten difficult for me sometimes, the past few years, at times.

I can relate to wanting friends but also wanting nothing to do with anybody. I don't know the answer to that though.

Some folks seem to find comfort in pets. I don't think that's for me, though; supposing I could even go that route.

And unfortunately, the internet and it's forums, aren't what they used to be. I think everyone just uses facebork and instawhatevers and all that now...

I've found routine is good, and social replacements, over the years (podcast(s), radio, forums, chat rooms, recently gave Twitch a try (though I despise Amazon so..). You might give meetup.com a try too, I think people still use that. No man is an island they say, so make sure to give your social brain some use, even if it's only 1-way communication.

Nature, books, and spiritual solitary time are good too.

I try to remember how beautiful this world truly is, myself, even if I haven't felt it in a long time. :)

Nothing beats having a true friend, though; or a few of them! :(

Anywho, good luck, and welcome again. May good company find you :)
 
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Puppykat56

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I’ve been on this site for a whole day and no one has told me I’m scum and that all of my problems are all my fault because I’m lazy or a bitch. Hooray! A milestone! 😀😀😀 I was on another forum type site for a few years called CityData.com and those people were brutally unkind. Some were very nice too of course, but the attacks over almost any comment about anything became overwhelming. The world is 10 times more angry now than then. The internet is a very rough neighborhood. But again, I hope we all stay nice to each other here. ✌️
 

TropicalStarfish

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PS - my Chihuahua Frodo is my best friend and I have a crabby cat, too, that also seems to love me, even in my friendless state. 💕
I had the loveliest cat, once upon a time... :) And another cat that was a stinker, but also quite lovable. No more though... heh.

Yeah the world seems quite a bit more cantankerous, to me, the last 5 or 6 years now... Oh well..
 

Puppykat56

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Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your current circumstances. I've always been fine being alone; but, it's gotten difficult for me sometimes, the past few years, at times.

I can relate to wanting friends but also wanting nothing to do with anybody. I don't know the answer to that though.

Some folks seem to find comfort in pets. I don't think that's for me, though; supposing I could even go that route.

And unfortunately, the internet and it's forums, aren't what they used to be. I think everyone just uses facebork and instawhatevers and all that now...

I've found routine is good, and social replacements, over the years (podcast(s), radio, forums, chat rooms, recently gave Twitch a try (though I despise Amazon so..). You might give meetup.com a try too, I think people still use that. No man is an island they say, so make sure to give your social brain some use, even if it's only 1-way communication.

Nature, books, and spiritual solitary time are good too.

I try to remember how beautiful this world truly is, myself, even if I haven't felt it in a long time. :)

Nothing beats having a true friend, though; or a few of them! :(

Anywho, good luck, and welcome again. May good company find you :)
💕 Thank you
 

Kamaione

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I have actually read a few of your posts, including this one, and I too would like to welcome you. Do you know the best thing about the internet? Anyone can use it! Unfortunately, that is also the worst thing about the internet. I am sure you will find like-minded and supportive people here. (And I totally agree that making friends with neighbors is not the best idea: the proximity can cause all kinds of situations for good or bad.) From what I have seen, you are an asset to this site, a kind and supportive person. Best of luck!
 

Puppykat56

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I have actually read a few of your posts, including this one, and I too would like to welcome you. Do you know the best thing about the internet? Anyone can use it! Unfortunately, that is also the worst thing about the internet. I am sure you will find like-minded and supportive people here. (And I totally agree that making friends with neighbors is not the best idea: the proximity can cause all kinds of situations for good or bad.) From what I have seen, you are an asset to this site, a kind and supportive person. Best of luck!
My heart just did a little flutter! I know it sounds cliche but it's been a VERY long time since someone gave me a compliment! You seem very kind and supportive, too, Kamaione. Trying to be a good human being is a bit of a conundrum sometimes when we feel numb and damaged on the inside, but the truth is, I miss people. I think all of us on this website do or we wouldn't be here, trying to make those connections. THANK YOU for the kind words. You made my day. 🤗 I'm sending you my best wishes, too.
 

Kamaione

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My heart just did a little flutter! I know it sounds cliche but it's been a VERY long time since someone gave me a compliment! You seem very kind and supportive, too, Kamaione. Trying to be a good human being is a bit of a conundrum sometimes when we feel numb and damaged on the inside, but the truth is, I miss people. I think all of us on this website do or we wouldn't be here, trying to make those connections. THANK YOU for the kind words. You made my day. 🤗 I'm sending you my best wishes, too.
See what you just did there? Proved my point about you :) 🤗
 

Kiki Kaos

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Are you willing to meet people and put yourself out there? If so, I would start with taking a class on something. Not like a paint party, that’s geared more toward already formed groups of friends wanting to do something together. Something that there’s going to be like 10 or more sessions like French cuisine, watercolors, knitting/crocheting...stuff like that. The gym I go to has a pool and they have a water aerobics class that I’ve been saying I was going to sign up for. I haven’t because I don’t do well with others face to face. I know that bonds can be formed like that because I used to teach girls how to knit, crochet, and embroider. They are still friends. Oh yeah! I loved your remark about your daughters boyfriend.
I went to a discussion group today, I felt socially awkward but enjoyed some of it ….it is difficult to put yourself out there but worth it if you find something you enjoy doing or learning in a group or class environment. Volunteering is another options for social interaction and potentially making friends
 

KimP

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Welcome to the forums! I’ve been here a few days and people seem friendly and interesting so far 👍
 

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