Fortunately I am not looking for a romantic relationship.

[vng2015]

As I have read on many forums, dating is very difficult.


I do not date because my Social Status is below any dating level. I am a 53 yo man, 156 kg, high functioning autistic, unemployed, dependent.


I am mostly looking for fellow low status men to commiserate over Zoom.

 

[Finished]

Yeah, I've never liked dating. I'd prefer to skip dating and go straight to relationship. But, relationships take a honeysuckle ton of effort and compromising to make them work. So, I too choose not to date.

 

[ardour]

Someone scrutinizing my unlived life over the course of several interviews (aka dates) seems like one of the more torturous commonplace experiences I can think of.

I have nothing good to say, no valid excuses too someone who would look at my life with any real interest and find it wanting, find there's nothing there.

 

[Finished]

Someone scrutinizing my unlived life over the course of several interviews (aka dates) seems like one of the more torturous commonplace experiences I can think of.

I have nothing good to say, no valid excuses, to someone who would like at my life with any real interest and find it wanting, find that there's nothing there.

Don't forget, during the interviews you have to appear relaxed and having a good time. Blaaaa dating.

I think someone might find you an interesting nut to crack. BTW, did you make friends with that lady in the office that kept trying to set you up?

 

[constant stranger]

I;m 69, in decent physical shape, finances are comfortable, am reasonably bright.....but to be realistic, I'm too socially unskilled to consider myself datable boyfriend material. I blame no one but myself and I expect to be alone until I leave this life for the next one. In the meantime I think I can make myself useful.

 

[insecure]

I'm slowly thinking of having to start dating again.
It's just that, yes, if you're sitting there with a date in a restaurant, for instance, it often feels like the only thing getting grilled is you.
They will ask questions and then find that you should have been more ambitious, by now you should be richer, and why did you not get married before, why are there no children...
It often feels like you have to justify yourself, and that people think your life is extremely empty.
I could say I did not have children because I only wanted to have some in a stable relationship, and I did not think the relationship would be stable with the doubts I had about my sexual preferences, but I wouldn't want to talk about that on a first date.
I am not good at lying and making things up either.
So in a way I might feel more inadequate after such an inquisitive date.

 

[constant stranger]

I'm slowly thinking of having to start dating again.
It's just that, yes, if you're sitting there with a date in a restaurant, for instance, it often feels like the only thing getting grilled is you.
They will ask questions and then find that you should have been more ambitious, by now you should be richer, and why did you not get married before, why are there no children...
It often feels like you have to justify yourself, and that people think your life is extremely empty.
I could say I did not have children because I only wanted to have some in a stable relationship, and I did not think the relationship would be stable with the doubts I had about my sexual preferences, but I wouldn't want to talk about that on a first date.
I am not good at lying and making things up either.
So in a way I might feel more inadequate after such an inquisitive date.

Yeah, I get it. I think that if I summoned the confidence to initiate and pursue a relationship.....or respond to a lady who expressed an interest......I might feel worse about myself as a result. For much the same reasons as you., or my own version of those reasons.
But at my age I can probably say it's just too late, that ship has sailed and I missed the boat.
However I don't harbor any resentments toward anybody else........I made my choices and I accept the consequences.

 

[ardour]

Don't forget, during the interviews you have to appear relaxed and having a good time. Blaaaa dating.

I think someone might find you an interesting nut to crack. BTW, did you make friends with that lady in the office that kept trying to set you up?

I mean we're on friendly terms, but she is the manager.

Edit: Rest of it... nevermind.

 

[mizera]

My life is so empty that I can't really imagine going on a date and having to talk around it. Before I got this job I have, I was unemployed and feeling hopeless. I just wanted to be a regular guy with a job, then I could date and make some friends. Well, I got the job and now I don't want to date. I have nothing to talk about and don't want to feel like I'm a boring person. I'm in the best physical shape of my life. I lift weights 4-5 times a week and still don't have enough confidence to go on a date.

But one piece of advice I'd give is to try not to care about the person liking you. You are on a date to enjoy yourself, to enjoy the company of the person you are with. You may not see them again, but for this time you want to have a good time. This is a different attitude than feeling like you need to impress or entertain them. Rather, you want to be upbeat and show interest in them, so they can be open and comfortable with you. You are there to enjoy their company, not to convince someone to want a relationship with you.

However, asking a lot of questions is a bad idea. I think it's a show of weakness, when you don't know what to say so you fill time by asking questions. It's better to listen instead. It's interesting when people talk to you unprompted. Everything they tell you is something they want you to know. Why is he/she telling me this? Well, because they want you to know this information. It's a kind of clue. You never asked, they just volunteered it. Why? That's information that you keep to yourself.

But if I was on a date and mentioned being a guitar player, and the woman starts asking me all these questions about it, I wouldn't like that. Unless she's also into guitars, she's just making conversation. She's not really interested, but trying to be polite or filling up time. This strategy should be avoided. I suspect that if I had a date, I might resort to this strategy, knowing that it's bad. I don't want to talk about myself so my best bet is to focus on the other person.

I wish I had a great sense of humor and high intelligence. I wish I could tell amusing stories and anecdotes and surprise people with my interests. But I'm really low in confidence. I really have no life whatsoever. The last thing I want to do is let anyone know that. Whether it's making friends or going on a date, there's no getting around it. You can't hide your life from someone for very long. It's part of the reason I haven't been to the office in two years. While I'm lonely and want company and a girlfriend, I also want to be alone where no one asks me questions and no one thinks about me. I don't want to have to be careful what I tell people. I just want to be open and honest and I don't feel comfortable being that way. So I keep to myself.

 

[vng2015]

Of course if I had money and status, I would have been in a relationship despite all problems.

If I had $10 Billion I would have began a political career by buying TikTok. They would try to sell it to me for at least double it's real worth.

Having no status I do not worry about either.

 

[user 188522]

I;m 69, in decent physical shape, finances are comfortable, am reasonably bright.....but to be realistic, I'm too socially unskilled to consider myself datable boyfriend material. I blame no one but myself and I expect to be alone until I leave this life for the next one. In the meantime I think I can make myself useful.

You are at the age that would interest many widows. Have you tried dating sites? For example, our time.

 

[vng2015]

Sometimes having more in life brings more problems.

Many people who ran for Senate and lost are very sad. If I had resources, I would have ran for Senate. Fortunately, I do not have such resources.

I do not even drive.