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Zhanna

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….and it actually look like a great place.

Hi everyone, thank you for reading my post. Loneliness is not something that you could easily tell in a person. On the outside I’m an Asian female, 51, living in California. look pretty good, I take care of my health, try to go to the gym, look stylish and put together, etc….also present as someone that others look up to at work, I’m a registered nurse and have been with the same hospital for 20 years. Finishing up a doctorate degree as nurse practitioner. You can’t guess by looking at me that I am lonely.

So why is that so? I’m an introvert and has had some family dysfunction in the past which did not help me at all. In my adult life I’d been busy living for others, caring for my mom and older brother, both have since died. So I withdrew further into work and school, forgetting to live my life and instead retreating further into my introversion when I’m not at work or school.

I’m pretty good at faking social skills in a group, but afterwards I am left drained and just want to be by myself or have someone or a couple of friends to just be myself with. Or reciprocally I am an empathetic person and good at providing comfort. Yet I’m not proactive about connecting with people around me that I know because I don’t think they “get” me. Does that make sense?

I have some work friends who are in their late 20s who think I’m younger and want me to go do things like bar hop and wine bars. Uh….no, thanks but that’s kind of never been my thing. I’m more of reading good nonfiction (biographies, history, science), knitting, sewing, cooking/ baking, DIY projects, and day hikes kind of person. I’m not a snob, I’ve been known to binge watch shows over a weekend while I lounge around in pajamas. Also trying to go back to volunteering as a cat rescuer.

So here I am, wanting to connect with genuine people who, same as myself, for one reason or another are lonely and in need of understanding without judgment. Looking forward to meeting people here. I’m very responsive and good at returning messages, definitely not a flakey or type.
 

Yeti1980

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Hi Zhanna,

Welcome!

I also work in healthcare and I can well understand the team spirit and the joking around etc at work, only to find that there's nobody really interested in anything outside of work. In my workplace, it's very much about leaving work at work and not really mixing beyond that.

The job is pretty stressful and I think part of it is about leaving the stress at work and keeping home/private life separate.

Anyway, good to have you around. Feel free to message me if you like, I'm sure we could find plenty of mutual work gripes to talk about!

All the best.
 
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….and it actually look like a great place.

Hi everyone, thank you for reading my post. Loneliness is not something that you could easily tell in a person. On the outside I’m an Asian female, 51, living in California. look pretty good, I take care of my health, try to go to the gym, look stylish and put together, etc….also present as someone that others look up to at work, I’m a registered nurse and have been with the same hospital for 20 years. Finishing up a doctorate degree as nurse practitioner. You can’t guess by looking at me that I am lonely.

So why is that so? I’m an introvert and has had some family dysfunction in the past which did not help me at all. In my adult life I’d been busy living for others, caring for my mom and older brother, both have since died. So I withdrew further into work and school, forgetting to live my life and instead retreating further into my introversion when I’m not at work or school.

I’m pretty good at faking social skills in a group, but afterwards I am left drained and just want to be by myself or have someone or a couple of friends to just be myself with. Or reciprocally I am an empathetic person and good at providing comfort. Yet I’m not proactive about connecting with people around me that I know because I don’t think they “get” me. Does that make sense?

I have some work friends who are in their late 20s who think I’m younger and want me to go do things like bar hop and wine bars. Uh….no, thanks but that’s kind of never been my thing. I’m more of reading good nonfiction (biographies, history, science), knitting, sewing, cooking/ baking, DIY projects, and day hikes kind of person. I’m not a snob, I’ve been known to binge watch shows over a weekend while I lounge around in pajamas. Also trying to go back to volunteering as a cat rescuer.

So here I am, wanting to connect with genuine people who, same as myself, for one reason or another are lonely and in need of understanding without judgment. Looking forward to meeting people here. I’m very responsive and good at returning messages, definitely not a flakey or type.
Welcome to the forum! You sound great! I'm making my plans to come see you as I'm typing this. Ha! ha! I also spent years taking care of my mom, dad, and grandparents. I too successfully faked my social confidence in the work place. But, it just got too stressful as I got to higher levels.
 

Zhanna

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Hi
Hi Zhanna,

Welcome!

I also work in healthcare and I can well understand the team spirit and the joking around etc at work, only to find that there's nobody really interested in anything outside of work. In my workplace, it's very much about leaving work at work and not really mixing beyond that.

The job is pretty stressful and I think part of it is about leaving the stress at work and keeping home/private life separate.

Anyway, good to have you around. Feel free to message me if you like, I'm sure we could find plenty of mutual work gripes to talk about!

All the best.
Hi Yeti
Great to meet you. Ha ha a fellow healthcare worker, yes there are a lot to commiserate with what’s been going on the past few years. I’ll definitely be talking to you more about it. I’m working tonight and have already been told by the charge nurse that our unit is a nightmare today. Fun times, fun times…..
 

Zhanna

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Welcome to the forum! You sound great! I'm making my plans to come see you as I'm typing this. Ha! ha! I also spent years taking care of my mom, dad, and grandparents. I too successfully faked my social confidence in the work place. But, it just got too stressful as I got to higher levels.
Hi! I’m glad you know what it’s like to be caregiver and all that entails including loneliness. Well not glad for you but you know what I mean, it’s good to know our experiences are not abnormal. Sigh…..yeah faking being HBIC (head bitch in charge) at work is hard. Faking social confidence has to be done at so many levels too and it’s draining. Then it gets worse because people believe your act and you start feeling bad because it’s like you’re a fake actor not being genuine. But then catch-22 your workplace demands you act that certain way. Like I say, exhausting! What all that culminates is picking up takeout meal after work and cloistering yourself at home recharging. Then it’s rinse and repeat.
 

constant stranger

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Greetings, Zhanna.

I'm glad that you're here. We have a few things in common.....I was my mother's sole care giver for 17 years after Dad died. I fake social graces too, without deriving much pleasure from the events and then feeling drained and glad to be alone again afterwards. I've been serving as a chaplaincy, pastoral volunteer at our local 300+ bed small town hospital for about 2 years. I visit with patients 2 or 3 mornings every week and it's been quite an eye opener for me in many ways. I have the highest regard for the work of the medical staff......I'm also a lot more conscientious about my own health management.
I hope you find what you're looking for on this forum.
 

Zhanna

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Greetings, Zhanna.

I'm glad that you're here. We have a few things in common.....I was my mother's sole care giver for 17 years after Dad died. I fake social graces too, without deriving much pleasure from the events and then feeling drained and glad to be alone again afterwards. I've been serving as a chaplaincy, pastoral volunteer at our local 300+ bed small town hospital for about 2 years. I visit with patients 2 or 3 mornings every week and it's been quite an eye opener for me in many ways. I have the highest regard for the work of the medical staff......I'm also a lot more conscientious about my own health management.
I hope you find what you're looking for on this forum.
Hi
Thank you. It’s great to know that so many of us have these shared experiences with being carers and faking social graces. I think it’s fantastic that you are a volunteer chaplain at a hospital. Just know that you do a valuable service to the patients whose minds and souls are comforted by having chaplains check in with them, even just to say hello.
 

Francis

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Well Zhanna, you're a Timelord. Congratulations! Have a happy life =) Timelord is the personality type the MBTI calls an ENTJ, but the MBTI is a creation of a personality type that doesn't understand personality...personality being the domain of Timelords.

70% of this post as well as your other posts have key timelord concepts, words, and feelings.


Faking social confidence has to be done at so many levels too and it’s draining. Then it gets worse because people believe your act and you start feeling bad because it’s like you’re a fake actor not being genuine.

Faking is TL101, the same archetype buddhism is in. We're the only type that can really act, that means being able to tell a lie and have it be totally believable. Sometimes we get lost in the roles we play even forgetting we're playing a role at all. We're always genuine though, but TL101 contains 'necessary evils', which are things like piracy, China as a nation being Timelord, like Robin Hood who embodies 'necessary evils' and of course is a timelord.

TL= timelord.
110= is the emotional polarity you're in. There are 8 emotional polarities which make up the range of emotions within each respective personality type.

You're TL110, since TL100 empathy + TL010 touch = TL110 'empathetic toucher' in others words; healer, caregiver, also doctors and milk.

You can’t guess by looking at me that I am lonely.

Oh, I could, would take me barely a second. You see, timelords are the archetypes of loneliness. The name Timelord for our personality type comes from the show Dr Who, a series about 'The Doctor', a Timelord who transverses time and space ALONE on his Tardis, because death follows him wherever he goes. For one, that makes him feel he has to travel alone to TL001 'secure, keep safe' the woman he loves, but there's also other reasons he's alone...

I’m an introvert and has had some family dysfunction in the past which did not help me at all. I

Family, helpfulness, and referring to a point in time (past) all in one sentence, a very stereotypical timelord if I've ever seen one! This is common btw, timelords make their family out of lovers, friends, or coworkers, almost always leaving their original 'families' in the past where they belong =D


I’ve been known to binge watch shows over a weekend while I lounge around in pajamas.

What shows do you watch? Have you seen the Mentalist? The protagonist, Patricke Jane, is a timelord. You'd probably like him.



A timelord's domain, for obvious reasons.

Yet I’m not proactive about connecting with people around me that I know because I don’t think they “get” me. Does that make sense?

Yes, makes perfect sense. They DONT get you, and they CANT. Ungoods are incapable of understanding Good. And thats the first thing a Timelord should understand to avoid suffering. You represent 4% of the population and there's few people who can get you, which is why you should learn to TL100 'recognize' them in order to increase your chances at TL000 'finding' them and TL010 'touching' them<---which is what you want.
 

Incognita

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What are all these abbreviations...sounds pretty interesting. Is that from studying religion or similar topics?
 

Francis

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sounds pretty interesting

Its the greatest system any being could ever create in this timeline, perfect and complete, the ultimate key into the mind/soul and the Well of Knowledge, part of several meta-systems invented that can predict all of reality^3, so can even predict the type of soil on a planet in a galaxy on another dimension, so predicting human's thoughts and feelings (mind reading) is trivial (at least to me) as is predicting the life course of individual humans since information on the meta-level flows independently of physical time, events occur to me outside of temporal order. It sounds more complicated than it is and I am dumbing it down, of course, because you can imagine the type of simple minded (that's euphemism for dumb) replies I get when I try to explain this to people weither in person or online.

What are all these abbreviations

The 3 digit slots are the respective 8 emotional polarities of each personality type, so if I say that someone is an S type, and that S100 is comfortable and S001 is helpless then you can conclude S101 contains both those things so leads to the archetypal shard 'comfortable being helpless' = a beggar. Beggars are S101. It doesnt mean their aren't other types that end in that position, but they would be stepping into another personality types emotional range so would not feel like themselves. In any case, the cure for an S101 beggar is for them to S011 'quit' it and be S110 'willing' to become stronger (which is hard for the type that has weakness as baseline, but NOT impossible.)

There are 9 personality types. Everything and every being can be typed. Countries have a type. Furniture has a type, generally the same type as the mind that created it since minds project their values onto reality and reality is built upon values (like mathematical values, and principles, of which minds also form part of the equation.)

These are songs of what I believe to be your type incognita;



Let me know if the lyrcs resonate with you. Also feedback like explaining your reasoning as to why you like them if you do would be appreciated, its also part of exploring your tastes and personality if you're at all interested in this.

Is that from studying religion or similar topics?

More like dedicating your every breath to the greatest mission humanity could ever accomplish and SUCCEEDING. I take none of the credit btw.
 

Incognita

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Well, you posted a Jesus song cause I did talk about God in my previous posts. That’s a no brainer. Even I can “predict” that type
 

Incognita

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As a feedback.... the first video with Jesus on it, I couldn’t listen past 11 seconds, so no idea what it’s about (don’t like), the second I fast forwarded it real quick, it’s calmer but boring so also I would say , it’s a total miss on my likings. Sad. I expected more. Sigh
 

Francis

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Well, you posted a Jesus song cause I did talk about God in my previous posts. That’s a no brainer. Even I can “predict” that type

You see, these are the dumb replies I get from your type after I write a complex explanation.

As a feedback.... the first video with Jesus on it, I couldn’t listen past 11 seconds, so no idea what it’s about (don’t like), the second I fast forwarded it real quick, it’s calmer but boring so also I would say , it’s a total miss on my likings. Sad. I expected more. Sigh

S000 is lazy, the baseline for your type. You couldn't even listen to the songs, I didn't send them so you could like the music dimwit, I especifically asked you if the LYRCS resonated with you, which you were to lazy to read. I won't advance any further with you since you S100 conspire and sabotage others, it's what your type always does, you're nasty.
Good try, tho. Thank you

Try is S000, a word of your type. Cause you 'try' at things, as in put in the minimal bare effort, 'hands off' approach, a 'please me' attitude. Again, you're nasty and a waste of time. Don't talk to me, loser. Rest ignored.
 

Incognita

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You see, these are the dumb replies I get from your type after I write a complex explanation.


You see....I can start and go on on insulting you or your replies BACK, but thats a waste of my time and energy , so I’ll just leave it at that. I knew, from your previous replies, you would go straight to labeling someone you don’t know. So predictable. Take care
 

Incognita

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You see, these are the dumb replies I get from your type after I write a complex explanation.



S000 is lazy, the baseline for your type. You couldn't even listen to the songs, I didn't send them so you could like the music dimwit, I especifically asked you if the LYRCS resonated with you, which you were to lazy to read. I won't advance any further with you since you S100 conspire and sabotage others, it's what your type always does, you're nasty.


Try is S000, a word of your type. Cause you 'try' at things, as in put in the minimal bare effort, 'hands off' approach, a 'please me' attitude. Again, you're nasty and a waste of time. Don't talk to me, loser. Rest ignored.
😂😂😂👍👍 I knew this was coming NEXT. Thank you!
 

Sci-Fi

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@Francis Stop with the insults and name calling on the forum, it is not allowed and I don't care what language you try to hide it with. You've done it in another thread too, keep it up and you'll have a suspension coming your way.
 

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