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Friendship and singles

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Rodent

It's all so tiresome.
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4No1 said:
I'm a female and I have a kid, in two groups there are some other kids, in third - only my. So I don't think something is going to change if some other of my friends get the kids too. Most of the couples have been together for 10+ years, some for 5+, no 'fresh' couples, so the situation's quite old, only this feeling is fresh. I don't feel pushing out, probably, I gave up the idea of having any relationship, so now feel a little bit second-rate, as they all can and I can't. I'd like to have a bf, but I think the idea that everyone can and I can't is more distressing than just being single. I'm not sure about the reason of this feeling.

I started from a neutral perspective but eventually I just ended up thinking you're a guy by tone alone since it wasn't on your profile either. I checked your intro post now and saw you mentioned the kid there at least. Sorry about the misunderstanding.  If your friend group is still holding together with the presence of kids, it's a good sign but now you raised more questions. Why did you gave up the idea of a relationship altogether or why do you feel you can't have one anymore? I understand it's more difficult at that age and having a kid already increases the difficulty, but is there more to you feeling this way?
 

4No1

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Rodent said:
[quote pid="929162" dateline="1613499408"]
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I started from a neutral perspective but eventually I just ended up thinking you're a guy by tone alone since it wasn't on your profile either. I checked your intro post now and saw you mentioned the kid there at least. Sorry about the misunderstanding.  If your friend group is still holding together with the presence of kids, it's a good sign but now you raised more questions. Why did you gave up the idea of a relationship altogether or why do you feel you can't have one anymore? I understand it's more difficult at that age and having a kid already increases the difficulty, but is there more to you feeling this way?[/font]

[/quote]

It's ok. Why - the age, the kid, and I don't fit the "traditional feminine ideals"(it was said in a topic here about masculine) and don't know how and where to seek the relationships. And sometimes I end up with falling in love with the wrong guys(probably any guy is the wrong one). So when all the effords lead to the dissapointment, the best way is just to admit I can't do it and to work on other aspects of life. 

But I don't want to loose the friends due this. Probably if I haven't yet I won't, at least not by this reason.
 

4No1

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TheRealCallie said:
Is this situation getting any better for you?

I'm not sure as I haven't met with the friends since that time, we don't meet often offline. Except one couple, but with them such thoughts have never appeared so I can't say wether I think less of it or not. Thanks for asking.
 

4No1

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Not exactly the friends but I think it's still the same problem.

How do other people kbow I'm single? Like I have a mark "single" on the face. Coworkers or some other people I meet reguallary. Is it because of my looks or because I never mention a partner of why?
99% percent people I meet in real life are in the relationships I really feel uncomfortable, it's quite difficult not to fix on it. And I don't want a mark on the face, how can I get rid of it?

I think that the main reason is that I don't want to look as a looser. I'm not really successful in any field so if I pretend I have a bf people would think I'm an average person) I even don't know why I care what they think, they talk to me mostly politely if I ask for some help they never refuse. It's smth biologicall I suppose, finding out who is the best monkey in a flock.

Just to vent
 

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