Frustration Situation

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splendido

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I am not completely alone, I have friends. I could just be fooling myself. Most friends that I think I have are most likely just superficial, disposable "friends", but I choose to believe that is not the case, it's just more comforting that way.

I can say honestly that I have at least one friend who will be there, even through the worst of it, but he lives far away, and I seldom see him.

So, most of the time I just go along with my social circle, whichever it happens to be. I have gone from circle to circle for a while now.

Even though I have these "friends" to hang out with, I still feel dreadfully alone, because I have a hard time lying to myself, or anyone else for that matter. I have been told I am too honest, but that is the problem with people. Everyone continually deludes themselves into believing that their friends will always be there for them, which is almost certainly a lie.

But I wish I could lie to myself. I wish I was a conniving *******, then I could get over my own mental blockage when it comes to socializing. The truth is, socializing has a lot to do with risk taking. If you want to be a part of a social circle, you have to throw yourself at it with reckless abandon, knowing full well that it could all fall apart at anytime. Certain people are naturals at this, and I think the reason for this may be that they are oblivious to the risks.

Ignorance is bliss. I guess I just don't trust anyone, and it's not them personally that I don't trust, but their basic human nature. I assume, right from the start, that people are flawed, and they really are. We are all flawed to some degree, whether it is lack of consideration for others, or a self-centered personality, we all have some sort of shortcoming. I just can't seem to bring myself to ignore these things in others. I hold myself to a high moral code too. As a result of this, I have become so selective of who I allow into my life, that I have isolated myself, mentally.

I have a hard time with women, I feel that women can be very hypocritical, and judgmental. I am probably painting all women with the same brush, and I realize that there must be women out there that are not quite so harsh in there judgmental behavior. Now I am being hypocritical, because I judge people too. It's frustrating to know that the reason I distance myself from people, I am just as guilty of.

I have not been in a relationship for 6 years now, and I am starting to really really hate life. I am sick of approaching women and getting rejected. I am sick of having to be the person to instigate starting a relationship. After 6 years of constant defeat, I am wondering what the hell to go on for. I am sick of knowing that men are expected to deal with all the rejection and women get to be the selectors, shooting down all the men who approach them. I am sick of how unfair it is. I am sick of being labeled a creep, just for being a man and interested in the opposite sex.

How can someone have a bad luck streak for 6 years? Now I am just angry and jaded. I don't even want to look at women anymore. They just make me angry. I know that if I approach them, they'll just walk away, silent. I live in agony everyday with the knowledge that women would rather not know me. I have no idea whatsoever what I'm doing wrong. It's not possible that my appearance is that offensive.

I wish I could reach out to my friends, but I know that if I even mentioned my predicament, I wouldn't have any friends. I have no idea where to turn for advise. People always seem to say conflicting things about it. "Just be yourself" (doesn't work). "Be confident" (Not sure what the hell that means, so vague).

It's a total mystery to me, and I wonder if I will be alone for the rest of my life.
 
Interpersonal networking and social climbing for popularity, can be such exasperating drudgery in the desperate hopes of some payoff or else simply in maintenance of whatever standing in what passes for community.

Instead, imagine and describe to me some situation in which you might actually socialize just for pleasure, even without expectations.
 
I can really know how you feel splendido, have you considered going to counseling? you have a lot inside you, so much frustration, and I dont blame you, you can talk to me if you wish, I can relate to what you are saying, so drop me a line some time.
 
**** it, will you people ever stop sharing? Can we never progress beyond mere consensual validation?

Because, beyond simply an expression that we can all relate to, I believe that what we have before us is a serviceably good problem statement. And if we won't even seek for a solution, then I, for one, shall truly despair.
 

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