My ex gaslighted me for most of our 8-year relationship.
Nothing I ever did was good enough.
But after I left her she couldn't find a man who would do everything that I did.
So then she started crying "take me back, take me back" and my response was:
"You don't love me, you love what I do for you."
She is now 34 years old, and has not matured past the age of probably 22.
Doesn't drive, has no desire to learn to drive.
Hooked up with a guy who's 70+ that's an abusive alcoholic who just throws money at her to shut her up so he can sleep.
They separated for about 6 months because he messed up and cheated.
She went back to him. And is no wiser, no more matured. Still has an inflated ego that looks more and more unrealistic the older her and I get.
People that gaslight do it because they are stonewalling against the acceptance of responsibility so hard that they are outsourcing it to others like spoiled children. I realize that now.
She took advantage of the fact that I was young and inexperienced when her and I first got together and in my naivety I took the bait, believed everything she said, and ended up heartbroken over it 8 years later.
I'm long over it now. It's been another 8 years already since I left her.
Her and I still talk, we're distant platonic friends, she still begs for me to go back to her, albeit more seldom these days, I think because she gets that I'm not going to because of her avoidance to being a responsible, independently-driven adult.
Most of the people I used to talk to in my age group actually, have all fallen off the bandwagon of this in one way or the other. Seems like everyone is trying to have their cake and eat it too.
And I'm just over here like that one Hindu kid in The Matrix:
"There is no spoon."