Here I go again ✈️ Alone and Lonley

[AceFace]

Here I go again, tomorrow I leave for Saudi Arabia on business, week after India, end of the month Atlanta, has no body ever heard of teams, why do they insist on seeing me, I lead such a lonely life, staring at four walls in Hotels, eating alone, nobody to talk to except clients which is cold, to be honest I want it that way with clients, when I embark on these trips if feel there is only me in the world literally, I would like to have people who I really know, not superficially or professionally sorry for the rant, down day I guess.

 

[okidoke]

You don't explore these locations when you travel?

 

[AceFace]

Good day mate no I just don't get the time the schedules are bad ferried here, there, I have seen most of it before I just want to go home, it all sounds good on paper doesn't it, maybe the first time you do it, I have been doing it for years.

 

[okidoke]

Fair enough. I haven't traveled overseas since 2019, but I've done a fair bit, and I really enjoyed meeting new people and experiencing life like locals.

 

[charlotte craig]

Here I go again, tomorrow I leave for Saudi Arabia on business, week after India, end of the month Atlanta, has no body ever heard of teams, why do they insist on seeing me, I lead such a lonely life, staring at four walls in Hotels, eating alone, nobody to talk to except clients which is cold, to be honest I want it that way with clients, when I embark on these trips if feel there is only me in the world literally, I would like to have people who I really know, not superficially or professionally sorry for the rant, down day I guess.

We have something in common, perhaps we could become friends? I own my own business, self employed and often work emailing clients with solutions and advice to their situations, or speaking to them on the phone doing a phone consultation. What a lot of people just do not get is that you cannot be as friendly with a client, or relaxed, as you are with other people. I get a lot of clients trying to be more friendly because they want to be able to say I am now a friend so now I get FREE consultations - which of course is all to suit them and nothing in it for me. I would be the loser, I would end up working for free most of the time, running at a huge loss,better off not working at all. I also meet people who are potential friends who want me to work for free so have to hold them at arm's length. It is far more difficult to find SUITABLE people to be friends with then. Most of the rest of the time I am alone with nobody to talk to or be with at all. So it gets a bit much.

When I get very down and lonely I talk to my little dog - she never says the wrong thing and never tries it on.

 

[charlotte craig]

Good day mate no I just don't get the time the schedules are bad ferried here, there, I have seen most of it before I just want to go home, it all sounds good on paper doesn't it, maybe the first time you do it, I have been doing it for years.

I would have thought if you regularly go to the same place you have already done all of the exploring you want to do before. It is old territory now, nothing new, so why explore again?

 

[AceFace]

I would have thought if you regularly go to the same place you have already done all of the exploring you want to do before. It is old territory now, nothing new, so why explore again?

The issue I have an agency who look after my security some of the places I go to are potentially dangerous so I nearly always confined to by hotel and carnt talk to the locals or site see.

 

[okidoke]

The issue I have an agency who look after my security some of the places I go to are potentially dangerous so I nearly always confined to by hotel and carnt talk to the locals or site see.

I'm tipping you make good money. Why not just buy some "good times" and explore that arena?

 

[AceFace]

I'm tipping you make good money. Why not just buy some "good times" and explore that arena?

I have been very very lucky in my life and have done some amazing things, yes I have worked hard and got my rewards, and have every toy going, and I appreciate it, but I have come to realise it all means nothing just makes you comfortable, I would rather have real friends to get to know their lives, listen, talk, care understanding, I'm a bit of a soul person, stop the loneliness

 

[okidoke]

I have been very very lucky in my life and have done some amazing things, yes I have worked hard and got my rewards, and have every toy going, and I appreciate it, but I have come to realise it all means nothing just makes you comfortable, I would rather have real friends to get to know their lives, listen, talk, care understanding, I'm a bit of a soul person, stop the loneliness

I get you, but sometimes human touch like that is better than nothing

 

[TheSkaFish]

I have been very very lucky in my life and have done some amazing things, yes I have worked hard and got my rewards, and have every toy going, and I appreciate it, but I have come to realise it all means nothing just makes you comfortable, I would rather have real friends to get to know their lives, listen, talk, care understanding, I'm a bit of a soul person, stop the loneliness

Off-topic but, if you don't mind sharing, what did you do to make your money?

Was it something that came naturally to you, where you always knew you were better at it than everything else, and better than most other people at it in your age group/skill level?

All my life I've wondered, what do people do that actually get unstuck in life and get somewhere?
It was always so hard for me to decide "what I wanted to be when I grew up" because most jobs, it seems you more or less get stuck at the same level like a hamster wheel, year after year, for the rest of your life (and in recent times, a person should BE so lucky to stay stuck at the same level, instead of going backwards!). And that never appealed to me.
Life seemed like a trap to ensnare most people, to make fools out of them, and I didn't want that to be me. I always wanted to get somewhere significantly better than where I started - putting in the same amount of time doing stuff that I didn't enjoy, just to stay stuck in a lifestyle I was unhappy with, never made sense - but I never knew where to start looking for anything that worked. Everything seemed like a dead end.

At the same time, I never felt like much was possible for me because I never felt particularly good at anything either. It was also hard to decide because I didn't feel particularly suited to anything. I never seemed good at processing complexity, and grasping skills always felt difficult for me. I felt like math was my weakest suit - not that my other suits were much stronger - which was frustrating because that's usually the thing that gets people somewhere in life because it's hard and there aren't that many people who can do it well.

That's always been my battle - and even a big part of why I'm lonely (not being good at anything/achieving, and therefore not being interesting/strong/attractive) but that's a separate story.

 

[AceFace]

Hi

Off-topic but, if you don't mind sharing, what did you do to make your money?

Was it something that came naturally to you, where you always knew you were better at it than everything else, and better than most other people at it in your age group/skill level?

All my life I've wondered, what do people do that actually get unstuck in life and get somewhere?
It was always so hard for me to decide "what I wanted to be when I grew up" because most jobs, it seems you more or less get stuck at the same level like a hamster wheel, year after year, for the rest of your life (and in recent times, a person should BE so lucky to stay stuck at the same level, instead of going backwards!). And that never appealed to me.
Life seemed like a trap to ensnare most people, to make fools out of them, and I didn't want that to be me. I always wanted to get somewhere significantly better than where I started - putting in the same amount of time doing stuff that I didn't enjoy, just to stay stuck in a lifestyle I was unhappy with, never made sense - but I never knew where to start looking for anything that worked. Everything seemed like a dead end.

At the same time, I never felt like much was possible for me because I never felt particularly good at anything either. It was also hard to decide because I didn't feel particularly suited to anything. I never seemed good at processing complexity, and grasping skills always felt difficult for me. I felt like math was my weakest suit - not that my other suits were much stronger - which was frustrating because that's usually the thing that gets people somewhere in life because it's hard and there aren't that many people who can do it well.

That's always been my battle - and even a big part of why I'm lonely (not being good at anything/achieving, and therefore not being interesting/strong/attractive) but that's a separate story.

We are an Electrical Engineering Design company so travel all over UK and all over the world working with major plants and manufacturers, I have never been better than anyone, just worked hard to get the right skill set for what I wanted together determination to get there.

Somebody once said to a golfer who had just won a championship, "you were lucky today" he replied "funny the more I practice the luckier I get "

Look at it like this, the world is your oyster no matter how old you are, everything is possible if you want to do something find the right path, the right skill set and the right opportunity. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but you can do it, sit down I a quiet room and reboot yourself.of your not happy in a mundane job change it.

You seem to lost your self confidence due to life experience, I am absolutely sure when you say your not good at anything, it's not true, people think the are not good at anything you just can't see how good you are, make some changes, I hope next post tells me what action plan you have for your life and where you want to go, good luck

 

[charlotte craig]

Too many people think it is all about luck. They forget that the successful ones who make good money had to study, train, learn skills, dedicate a lot of time, pass exams and tests, put themselves out, sacrifice a great deal to achieve it. Luck has nothing to do with it. I worked seven days a week, sixteen hours a day for many years. Guess what, it means I had more money than the people who did not! You will never get anywhere if you work for others doing menial, easy work either. You need to be smart, skilled, qualified, and self employed, where you make big decisions, take risks, run the show and invest a lot of money to get anywhere.

 

[charlotte craig]

Off-topic but, if you don't mind sharing, what did you do to make your money?

Was it something that came naturally to you, where you always knew you were better at it than everything else, and better than most other people at it in your age group/skill level?

All my life I've wondered, what do people do that actually get unstuck in life and get somewhere?
It was always so hard for me to decide "what I wanted to be when I grew up" because most jobs, it seems you more or less get stuck at the same level like a hamster wheel, year after year, for the rest of your life (and in recent times, a person should BE so lucky to stay stuck at the same level, instead of going backwards!). And that never appealed to me.
Life seemed like a trap to ensnare most people, to make fools out of them, and I didn't want that to be me. I always wanted to get somewhere significantly better than where I started - putting in the same amount of time doing stuff that I didn't enjoy, just to stay stuck in a lifestyle I was unhappy with, never made sense - but I never knew where to start looking for anything that worked. Everything seemed like a dead end.

At the same time, I never felt like much was possible for me because I never felt particularly good at anything either. It was also hard to decide because I didn't feel particularly suited to anything. I never seemed good at processing complexity, and grasping skills always felt difficult for me. I felt like math was my weakest suit - not that my other suits were much stronger - which was frustrating because that's usually the thing that gets people somewhere in life because it's hard and there aren't that many people who can do it well.

That's always been my battle - and even a big part of why I'm lonely (not being good at anything/achieving, and therefore not being interesting/strong/attractive) but that's a separate story.

You don't need success as you call it, luck or money to be found interesting and attractive. But you do need to be realistic. I've had a lot of guys trying it on with me who were not successful, had no money, had debts and a lot of problems. They had no chance. But if they had tried it on with a woman who was like them, also struggling for money and not successful they would have had a much higher chance. Just like an old man of 80 has no chance with a woman of 20 unless he can give her something else which is valuable to make up for the huge age gap. She might choose him and make do with him if he is rich and generous.There has to be a balance where one receives as much as they give for it to work and last. You can receive and give age differences, looks, money, property and much else. But simply presenting yourself as someone who has not succeeded and has no money or confidence will turn most off, even if they are the same. People want someone who will make their life better and happier,not where they make your life better but get dragged down to a low level in the process.
Don';t expect to be able to date someone a lot younger, prettier, slimmer, smarter, richer, better job, sorted, and you may well succeed.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Don';t expect to be able to date someone a lot younger, prettier, slimmer, smarter, richer, better job, sorted, and you may well succeed.

Gotta disagree with this. At the end of the day, you don't know who is going to be the perfect match for you. If you throw out all the people who have something you don't, you'll never find anyone. Not everyone who is younger or "prettier" or skinnier or smarter or richer or has a better job is judgmental and doesn't give other people a chance. Not all the people who fit in those categories care about those things. Sometimes, people just want to find their "people" and your "people" don't always match up exactly. Some people look beyond what you have or what you look like to see the person under all that superficial crap.

 

[charlotte craig]

Gotta disagree with this. At the end of the day, you don't know who is going to be the perfect match for you. If you throw out all the people who have something you don't, you'll never find anyone. Not everyone who is younger or "prettier" or skinnier or smarter or richer or has a better job is judgmental and doesn't give other people a chance. Not all the people who fit in those categories care about those things. Sometimes, people just want to find their "people" and your "people" don't always match up exactly. Some people look beyond what you have or what you look like to see the person under all that superficial crap.

Put yourself in their shoes for a moment and you would probably see it the same as them. Ive met plenty of guys who are unemployed, some unemployable too, penniless and in debt, got nothing at all smart about them, and they think any woman will do, because whoever she is they are better off than they were before. But she would be the one who is stupid to choose him and could do a lot better.
I agree with ace that he has a very good income so he can be ultra fussy, why should he share his wealth with just anyone, or some lazy or stupid person who relies on him to provide for them instead of doing it themselves?

 

[sparkyn98]

Wow... I got my degree in Human Services to work for non-profits and help people and it took a lot of work and dedication and volunteering... but, I'm not rich. LOLOL
Not going to say I disagree with you guys about hard work in business, but I do disagree about "luck" in life in general. May not be luck, may call it fate or happen-stance. All my boys played soccer and were goooooooodddd.... but I remember my middle one coming to me at some point asking if I thought he could go professional. So, I told him the truth as I saw it: You can work your ass off, I can send you to every clinic I can afford, you can play travel league, but it will all come down to IF a scout sees you. Now, could we have made that happen? This was before "social media" and online was SO prevalent. I'm just saying, positive outlook and hardwork and dedication aren't always ALL that it takes.

Just like calories in = calories out doesn't work for people with thyroid issues or Hashimoto's.

I am low-key over here chuckling at ya'lls outlook on life. I was a mid-level income raised military brat. Now, I'm prior military and make my living helping others.... but, apparently, because I don't have as good of a lifestyle as someone else, I haven't "bothered"?!? LOLOL

I know you guys don't MEAN it like that but maybe don't lump EVERYone who doesn't have your wealth or success in one big turd pile of "haven't worked hard" their whole life.
I worked 14 hour days building pallets to prepare for deployments during the Gulf War. I made about $15/hr with two small boys at daycare I was paying for while trying to make sure we didn't starve....
For the love of God, if anyone thanks me for my service while I'm on this rant, I will surely block them... LOLOL

I'm asking you guys nicely to think about how your phrasing things while you're "wondering" why you don't have many friends.....

Love each other....
HumanKind.... be both

 

[charlotte craig]

Wow... I got my degree in Human Services to work for non-profits and help people and it took a lot of work and dedication and volunteering... but, I'm not rich. LOLOL
Not going to say I disagree with you guys about hard work in business, but I do disagree about "luck" in life in general. May not be luck, may call it fate or happen-stance. All my boys played soccer and were goooooooodddd.... but I remember my middle one coming to me at some point asking if I thought he could go professional. So, I told him the truth as I saw it: You can work your ass off, I can send you to every clinic I can afford, you can play travel league, but it will all come down to IF a scout sees you. Now, could we have made that happen? This was before "social media" and online was SO prevalent. I'm just saying, positive outlook and hardwork and dedication aren't always ALL that it takes.

Just like calories in = calories out doesn't work for people with thyroid issues or Hashimoto's.

I am low-key over here chuckling at ya'lls outlook on life. I was a mid-level income raised military brat. Now, I'm prior military and make my living helping others.... but, apparently, because I don't have as good of a lifestyle as someone else, I haven't "bothered"?!? LOLOL

I know you guys don't MEAN it like that but maybe don't lump EVERYone who doesn't have your wealth or success in one big turd pile of "haven't worked hard" their whole life.
I worked 14 hour days building pallets to prepare for deployments during the Gulf War. I made about $15/hr with two small boys at daycare I was paying for while trying to make sure we didn't starve....
For the love of God, if anyone thanks me for my service while I'm on this rant, I will surely block them... LOLOL

I'm asking you guys nicely to think about how your phrasing things while you're "wondering" why you don't have many friends.....

Love each other....
HumanKind.... be both

I ran a big charity for five years - never got a penny for it, you do it free when it is to help mankind generally. AND I did not boast about it or ask for applause or thanks either.

There is a big difference between working long hours for a guaranteed salary where the boss or owner has all of the hard input such as making sure you get your wages, holiday and sick pay, investing the money to set it up and all the rest, or doing what it takes to be able to set up your own thing and give other people jobs. I applaud you for working so hard but you seem to be finding fault in others who work hard if they do it different to you. As for not having many friends you got that wrong too. I have lots of friends who I have a lot in common with I regularly meet up with, I could have a lot more if I were silly enough to say yes to those I have very little in common with and nag me for money or a job. I say no to them not them say no to me. I would have had a lot more friends if I had not been working very long hours seven days a week for a long time. I don't need advice thank you, I am more than capable of working everything out for myself. I did not come on here looking to make friends, I knew when I came here there would be nobody suitable. And no I am not going to be interrogated and questioned. Got better things to do with my time and it makes anyone who tries seem weird and nosey.

 

[AceFace]

The guy who posted this originally is married?

Ok I will deal with this, I never said I wasn't, but didn't want to wash my personal issues in public, and I still don't, but that doesn't mean I'm less lonely, I don't want to get into the details, it's private but let's just say, I'm in a souless marriage not to mention the numerous affairs she has had while I have been away working to give my family a lifestyle I think people can relate to being in that kind of marriage / Relationship which makes my life even lonelier I am happy for anyone and jealous of any one who has successfully relationship, don't judge me it's not my fault.

 

[charlotte craig]

Aceface no, people tend to assume that you are lonely and all alone and unwanted because you value how hard you have worked and the money you have made. They don't think that maybe you have some friends already, or have other reasons why (i.e. I was working 9 am till 11 pm seven days a week with no days off for many years until I retired recently). They love the idea that you are lonely because you are a victim of your own success, greed has made you not worth being friends with etc. You are right, lots of people are unhappily married, and I am sure lots of people would love to have your money too, but they get jealous and don't understand so make negative remarks. I read a post on here recently by a happily married woman who had this problem, people think oh, she is supposed to be lonely, that should mean she has no one. Which is nonsense. Everyone has some sort of life whether some of it is good and some bad, or all good or all bad and it usually includes at least one person. People also forget that when you are very busy with work you cannot be in two places at once to sort out other things or change other things.

Incidentally one of my friends, the one I like best and get on with the best is very poor. But we do a lot of stuff together and have a good laugh. Why do I prefer her? She does not nag me for a job or money, or want me for that in any shape or form, she is not jealous, she never says nasty or spiteful or snippy comments, she does not only remember me when she wants something, she treats me the same as everyone else she knows. When I was very ill she was the one who was offering to get shopping, pop in, help with housework and walking the dog. Others would have tried to get me to pay them an enormous amount of money to get me a pint of milk or make a cup of coffee, trying to take advantage of it.