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lonelyblossom

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2022
Messages
7
Reaction score
8
Location
BC, Canada
I moved after highschool and it was over 2 he drive from old home so lost contacts. Then I got involved then married then the children had problems.

My one had disabilities my other years after the others birth was diagnosed with cancer. My life became them just dealing with raising them. Then seperation as the relationship was abusive. Then divorce within few months of my child's death. Then alone with my other child. Then ex fought for custody then finally won it after a bizzare attack on me and my son though I was their intended target. It's why my child chose to move and a threat to keep us apart. They talking to me online lead to me being assaulted then trying to call two other attacks. Their father admitted to gang connections. Then my son started to avoid contact before that due to attacks.

So my children gone though ones alive but hesitant to contact. I don't work due to my own disability and age. So I'm alone no friends and no family. Family is a complicated thing my parents died of age and cancers none hereditary but my brother died of a similar cancer to my dad. My sister and I aren't close and don't always get along. I stopped talking to my mother before she died but thought her well and was only second missed call.

So I'm here now trying to make friends. I'm alone but do socialize at organizations I just don't know people outside them at those places in that place only.
 
Between 18 and 30 all of my friends either got married, had kids and settled down to pursue the American Dream in other cities, died, ended up in prison, or got lost in a whirlwind of drug and alcohol abuse wherein I had to cut them out of my life for harm reduction reasons to keep myself safe from them.

I need a certain amount of social interaction, or very bad things happen to me mentally, but too much social interaction also, makes very bad things happen to me mentally. So it's all in a matter of finding the right balance.

It occurred to me the other day that 13 of my friends have died and I've only been to like 5 or 6 weddings. Not sure how normal that is before the age of 35 but I mean that's my life. 🤷‍♂️
 
idk. Probably I've always been like that.
There is no abusive parents, ex, friends, circumstances here. I can't say, I'm really alone all the time, I'm just lonely. I have a family and some almost friends, they are nice and we meet sometimes, but they we don't understand each other(some of them even think I'm an extrovert), and I have a lot of to do and they all have their own business too. There are a few people I'm interested in, but they seem not to be interested in me.
I wish there was any other reason of it except me.
 

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