How do you know if you still love your partner?

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liz.lee

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I have been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now. I am a year older than him. Things don't really go they way we want it to be. He doesn't have any plans for the future, all he cares is his family while me and my mom supports him in everything that he does. His cousins and siblings are living with us now and I feel like an outcast. I don't know what's my purpose anymore or does he even love me or he just needs me. I really wanted to break up with him but I don't have courage to do so.
 

ringwood

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This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to me - especially the part about you and your mom supporting him. Does he work or hold down a job of any kind? What about the cousins and siblings? Do any of them work and support the household?

Sounds like you need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart-to-heart, serious conversation about your situation and express how you're feeling. If you did decide to split up, are you financially able to do so?
 

liz.lee

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This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship to me - especially the part about you and your mom supporting him. Does he work or hold down a job of any kind? What about the cousins and siblings? Do any of them work and support the household?

Sounds like you need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart-to-heart, serious conversation about your situation and express how you're feeling. If you did decide to split up, are you financially able to do so?
He does have a job but his salary is really not enough, his cousin and other sibling has a job and pay only for the house and that's it. My mom has a business a small restaurant, I am currently unemployed but helped my mom with her small business. He doesn't really want to talk to me with this, I already tried many times but didn't work.

Since my mom owned a restaurant she always gives us food to eat together with his family of course. It's just so unfair on my side because his family is his priority. I am not financially stable at the moment and don't want to moved in with my mom that's why I don't really have the courage to break up with him as of now. I don't see my future anymore with him and it's sad.
 
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Welcome to the site! Kamusta! It sounds like you are kind of trapped. I'd love to come rescue you. But, I'm way too old. ha! ha! About the only thing you can really do is plan for your future and take small steps to get there. If you do nothing then your situation will probably become permanent.
 

liz.lee

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Welcome to the site! Kamusta! It sounds like you are kind of trapped. I'd love to come rescue you. But, I'm way too old. ha! ha! About the only thing you can really do is plan for your future and take small steps to get there. If you do nothing then your situation will probably become permanent.
Hi, thank you for the warm welcome ☺️. Yeah I am currently planning for my future, I know for myself that I am capable of doing that it's just that I'm lost at the moment and don't know where to start.
 
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Hi, thank you for the warm welcome ☺️. Yeah I am currently planning for my future, I know for myself that I am capable of doing that it's just that I'm lost at the moment and don't know where to start.
Well, friends, work, and money are the way to a different future. If possible find work and hide as much money as you can where nobody else will find it. Figuring out what future you want to have is more difficult. Mostly, you don't know what you don't know. So, try to experience what you can and watch what other people do to see if that is something you would like to do.
 

liz.lee

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Friends.? I don't really have "friends". I find it comforting being alone to be honest. I do have a plan, it just didn't work the way I want it to be. Sometimes I feel like the problem was me. I gave everything to my partner and I forgot how to love and take care of myself now.
 

liz.lee

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You just put a smile on my face and I thank you for that. Can you pick me up and bring me to a beautiful island of sipaway. I don't have a visa so I'll just stay here around PH 🙂
 

TogetherAlone

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Welcome to the forum and hmm my thinking would be if you want to break up with him then that's possibly what the ebst option would be, hope you find the courage and strenght to make whatever choice you feel you need to make.

Not sure if that really makes sense, almost 5am and haven't slept yet D=
 

liz.lee

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Welcome to the forum and hmm my thinking would be if you want to break up with him then that's possibly what the ebst option would be, hope you find the courage and strenght to make whatever choice you feel you need to make.

Not sure if that really makes sense, almost 5am and haven't slept yet D=
Thank you for that, yeah I just need the courage. I just need to get it done.
 

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