How i overcame my social anxiety

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Isaac B.

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Nov 27, 2022
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I had severe conversation social anxiety and got made fun by people that i can't talk to anyone when i was a young. I didn't have any female friends. Simple friendly conversation was terrifying with men or women.

What changed everything is exposure. I used to be the biggest critic and hater of exposure and always bashed it in forums or groups. I always made the excuse i'm already doing exposure since i had to go to school and was outside alot already. What difference would more exposure do. Not until i actually tried it VERY DEEP did it put a light bulb in my head and had a big realization that i actually wasn't doing it DEEP ENOUGH and LONG ENOUGH.

I started small by doing thing like saying hi to people and small talks with cashiers. Majority of people are nice and talk back, you can tell people that don't want to speak by them having a reserved face expression. I then made a commitment to go outside for 2 hours per day to start small & short convos with strangers then build my way to longer convos. I went to places that were easy to start convos with strangers that was social acceptable and wouldn't look weird. Places such as parks, bus stops benches, bars, parties, train stations, restaurants, etc.

You have to start small then build your way up. It takes time doesn't work right away. You should see small results within 2 weeks of consistent practice within 1-3 month your conversation anxiety will be almost gone. I can now approach anyone and hold conversations very easy with strangers.

The reason why you're social anxiety isn't at the worst spectrum is because you've been doing a limited exposure your whole life by by needing to go to work, school, & hangout with family. These forced limited exposure is what's keeping your social anxiety from going crazy. If you expand these areas of limited exposure you will see more social freedom in your life.
 
I'm glad that worked for you! :)

It's the traditional view point. "You can over come things if you confront them." But, many of us on here have continually confronted our anxieties and it's made them worse. At least for me, I've gotten worse by confronting mine. But, far worse from staying clear of them. It's a loose, loose situation. However, it's made my life less stressful by avoiding them. So, there's that. :)
 
I'm glad that worked for you! :)

It's the traditional view point. "You can over come things if you confront them." But, many of us on here have continually confronted our anxieties and it's made them worse. At least for me, I've gotten worse by confronting mine. But, far worse from staying clear of them. It's a loose, loose situation. However, it's made my life less stressful by avoiding them. So, there's that. :)

Agreed. I'm very avoidant myself with certain things, and although I'd probably have a better quality of life if I made myself "get over" being that way, so much of me just doesn't care to put the required effort in, so I simply coast by in life, feeling safe under my cosy comfort blanket of habit and routines.
 
It's effort for me. I'm not an lazy or ignorant person but it feels like it takes a lot of mental energy to strike up random conversations, but mostly with strangers. After a day of "intense" conversations or meetings with random people I feel mentally exhausted.
 
It's effort for me. I'm not an lazy or ignorant person but it feels like it takes a lot of mental energy to strike up random conversations, but mostly with strangers. After a day of "intense" conversations or meetings with random people I feel mentally exhausted.
Same for me. Even if the conversation seems somewhat pleasant it still zaps me. I don't know how some people can talk all day long to a bunch of people. It's like that actually enjoy it. Ha! ha!
 
This Isaac guy did a great job. I'd never be able to do that.
 
I don't have any problem carrying on a conversation, especially if I know someone or like them. But I'm not like the Energizer bunny. After social interaction, I need my alone time.
 

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