How much loneliness affects you ?

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ManDss

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I guess we all here deal with loneliness, but... how hard is for you all? 

Sometimes, in other forums, I read people saying they deal with loneliness, but... dont feel like it really is a major problem to them. Or then sometimes they say "but then I went out with my partner...", and I feel that is not really loneliness.

At least to me loneliness really destroys my life. Makes my life hell. Be alone is just boredom for me. Spend the whole day with no one to talk about just for the sake to have some fun chat, to tell about your problems, to talk about the future. Time seems dead and useless. So much that my mouth feels glued, so I have to open it to stretch the muscles of my jaw.

Hear some music, enjoy it, but... alone, no one to say "this sounds good, right ?". No one to say "hey, you saw tthat? Looks cool."

How loneliness affects you ? And at what times you wish to have someone to talk ?
 
ManDss said:
I guess we all here deal with loneliness, but... how hard is for you all? 

Sometimes, in other forums, I read people saying they deal with loneliness, but... dont feel like it really is a major problem to them. Or then sometimes they say "but then I went out with my partner...", and I feel that is not really loneliness.

At least to me loneliness really destroys my life. Makes my life hell. Be alone is just boredom for me. Spend the whole day with no one to talk about just for the sake to have some fun chat, to tell about your problems, to talk about the future. Time seems dead and useless. So much that my mouth feels glued, so I have to open it to stretch the muscles of my jaw.

Hear some music, enjoy it, but... alone, no one to say "this sounds good, right ?". No one to say "hey, you saw tthat? Looks cool."

How loneliness affects you ? And at what times you wish to have someone to talk ?

I'm at a point in my life where I don't get lonely. Of course, I've always been somewhat of a lone wolf but I do have an extrovert side to me, I like to meet new people, I like to be in a group, I like to help and participate... But these days, not so much. I'm not happy about how this world is turning out to be and I'm very disappointed with people in general. It's a deep disappointment, so heartfelt that it helped me when I found myself all alone, no family, no friends, nothing.
I've been solo for more than 10 years now. Bothers me none. And I mean solo like no friends, family 2 hours away, no dating, nothing. I'd rather have that than being stabbed in the back, lied to, gossiped about, and falsely accused of serious honeysuckle I never did or even thought of doing. But people are jealous and no good generally speaking, especially when they see you have nothing bad on your conscience and nothing in the closet. Envie and jealousy are very dark bad things the heart of many is as black as sackcloth. Because of that, I suffered a grave injustice that I'm still trying to get over after 10 years of it happening. I've learned my lesson and it's a lesson I never want to repeat ever again.
So, I'm fine all by me lonesome. 
I read I draw, I write, I play PC games, go hiking, biking, climbing, watch movies, camping, horseback riding, window shop, I travel, strike conversations with complete strangers who shall remain strangers, I love to cook, swim... I'm good. 
I don't need someone who will make me feel bad, get jealous, blame me for something, criticize me, yell at me, belittle me... I've had my fill of all that, thank you very much.
 
^ Please stop reading my mind and typing out my thoughts. Ha! ha! However, I still get lonely sometimes. I think getting a girl friend or even a wife should be easy. I'm a nice normal caring guy who doesn't mind making changes in my life. But, then after I remember the past relationships I've had I realize just how difficult relationships really are. The only person you can trust is yourself. The only person that really cares about you is yourself. The only person that probably won't screw you over is yourself. Soon after that the loneliness feelings abate. Ha! ha!
 
Finished said:
^ Please stop reading my mind and typing out my thoughts. Ha! ha! However, I still get lonely sometimes. I think getting a girl friend or even a wife should be easy. I'm a nice normal caring guy who doesn't mind making changes in my life. But, then after I remember the past relationships I've had I realize just how difficult relationships really are. The only person you can trust is yourself. The only person that really cares about you is yourself. The only person that probably won't screw you over is yourself. Soon after that the loneliness feelings abate. Ha! ha!

Yeah, it's not meeting someone that's difficult, it's putting up with them afterward  :p

You hit the nail right on the head with: "[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]The only person you can trust is yourself. The only person that really cares about you is yourself. The only person that probably won't screw you over is yourself." That's right on, will always be true. [/font]
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I entrusted myself with[size=small][font=arial, sans-serif] €5000 last year and guess what, it's still there, lol.[/font][/font][/size]
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I can get drunk around myself and know that myself won't call the cops on me, lol [/font]
 
I'm at a point in my life where I don't get lonely. Of course, I've always been somewhat of a lone wolf but I do have an extrovert side to me, I like to meet new people, I like to be in a group, I like to help and participate... But these days, not so much. I'm not happy about how this world is turning out to be and I'm very disappointed with people in general. It's a deep disappointment, so heartfelt that it helped me when I found myself all alone, no family, no friends, nothing.
I've been solo for more than 10 years now. Bothers me none. And I mean solo like no friends, family 2 hours away, no dating, nothing. I'd rather have that than being stabbed in the back, lied to, gossiped about, and falsely accused of serious honeysuckle I never did or even thought of doing. But people are jealous and no good generally speaking, especially when they see you have nothing bad on your conscience and nothing in the closet. Envie and jealousy are very dark bad things the heart of many is as black as sackcloth. Because of that, I suffered a grave injustice that I'm still trying to get over after 10 years of it happening. I've learned my lesson and it's a lesson I never want to repeat ever again.
So, I'm fine all by me lonesome.
I read I draw, I write, I play PC games, go hiking, biking, climbing, watch movies, camping, horseback riding, window shop, I travel, strike conversations with complete strangers who shall remain strangers, I love to cook, swim... I'm good.
I don't need someone who will make me feel bad, get jealous, blame me for something, criticize me, yell at me, belittle me... I've had my fill of all that, thank you very much.

I feel like you were hurt at some point, and you feel it's not worthwhile to risk being hurt again. I can totally understand why, as our culture is not very evolved in some aspects, and the chances of finding someone who will not do the things to you which you mentioned are not high.

My question, as someone who is attempting to adapt to the lifestyle you have described living, is: are you truly, consistently okay with being alone always? If you knew someone would not hurt you and be well suited as a companion or acquaintance, would you prefer it over not having it?

Emotional trauma tends to put people in this situation, as well as just losing hope in people, but some of us struggle more than others to adapt to being alone. We are apparently tribal in nature, and it is natural for us to want to relate and connect to others, yet the mystics and sages often go off to be alone.

I guess what I wonder is: you have accepted and adapted to your lifestyle, but is it truly healthy, or is it some form of complacency which has settled in to avoid the negative experiences which come with a high percentage of relations with others?

Forgive me for prying. I just would like to hear your thoughts on these concepts. You are obviously a thoughtful person, perhaps to a degree that it's difficult to interact with most others. I would be interested in your take on this.
 
Been single, for just over 6 years, pretty much ever since i started to have neurological problems.

Im 32 now, it would be fantastic to find a supportive partner, but never have this feeling of loneliness, maybe its the subconscious that brought me here.
 
Last edited:
I'm at a point in my life where I don't get lonely. Of course, I've always been somewhat of a lone wolf but I do have an extrovert side to me, I like to meet new people, I like to be in a group, I like to help and participate... But these days, not so much. I'm not happy about how this world is turning out to be and I'm very disappointed with people in general. It's a deep disappointment, so heartfelt that it helped me when I found myself all alone, no family, no friends, nothing.
I've been solo for more than 10 years now. Bothers me none. And I mean solo like no friends, family 2 hours away, no dating, nothing. I'd rather have that than being stabbed in the back, lied to, gossiped about, and falsely accused of serious honeysuckle I never did or even thought of doing. But people are jealous and no good generally speaking, especially when they see you have nothing bad on your conscience and nothing in the closet. Envie and jealousy are very dark bad things the heart of many is as black as sackcloth. Because of that, I suffered a grave injustice that I'm still trying to get over after 10 years of it happening. I've learned my lesson and it's a lesson I never want to repeat ever again.
So, I'm fine all by me lonesome.
I read I draw, I write, I play PC games, go hiking, biking, climbing, watch movies, camping, horseback riding, window shop, I travel, strike conversations with complete strangers who shall remain strangers, I love to cook, swim... I'm good.
I don't need someone who will make me feel bad, get jealous, blame me for something, criticize me, yell at me, belittle me... I've had my fill of all that, thank you very much.
Not everyone are like that, u just met the wrong people on ur path and sorry for that. Big hugs
 
I guess we all here deal with loneliness, but... how hard is for you all?

Sometimes, in other forums, I read people saying they deal with loneliness, but... dont feel like it really is a major problem to them. Or then sometimes they say "but then I went out with my partner...", and I feel that is not really loneliness.

At least to me loneliness really destroys my life. Makes my life hell. Be alone is just boredom for me. Spend the whole day with no one to talk about just for the sake to have some fun chat, to tell about your problems, to talk about the future. Time seems dead and useless. So much that my mouth feels glued, so I have to open it to stretch the muscles of my jaw.

Hear some music, enjoy it, but... alone, no one to say "this sounds good, right ?". No one to say "hey, you saw tthat? Looks cool."

How loneliness affects you ? And at what times you wish to have someone to talk ?

I get what you mean.

I have battled with depression and loneliness for quite some time now. I feel deeply alone even when in the company of family, friends or my girlfriend. It's as if I'm not able to appreciate all the love and affection coming from them. Even though people do their best at listening, I always feel ignored and alone. I just feel overwhelmed with this feeling of being misunderstood and right behind what's happening. Always. I've felt this way since I was a child, and even when talking about my issues with my shrink.

The only time I don't feel this way is when I'm out hiking or camping, which is ironic because they are activities that imply some sort of loneliness.
 
Right now, I'm thinking about a girl when I shouldn't, damned irresponsible of me, but I'm really feeling it. Been moping around all day.
 
I guess we all here deal with loneliness, but... how hard is for you all?

Sometimes, in other forums, I read people saying they deal with loneliness, but... dont feel like it really is a major problem to them. Or then sometimes they say "but then I went out with my partner...", and I feel that is not really loneliness.

At least to me loneliness really destroys my life. Makes my life hell. Be alone is just boredom for me. Spend the whole day with no one to talk about just for the sake to have some fun chat, to tell about your problems, to talk about the future. Time seems dead and useless. So much that my mouth feels glued, so I have to open it to stretch the muscles of my jaw.

Hear some music, enjoy it, but... alone, no one to say "this sounds good, right ?". No one to say "hey, you saw tthat? Looks cool."

How loneliness affects you ? And at what times you wish to have someone to talk ?
I am at a point. Where I don't care what happens to me. I have been through one divorce, two breakups, and two months ago, an unexpected death.

I guess I am supposed to be alone. People always say I am too sensitive. I am no good for anyone.
 
Even though people do their best at listening, I always feel ignored and alone. I just feel overwhelmed with this feeling of being misunderstood and right behind what's happening. Always.

The only time I don't feel this way is when I'm out hiking or camping, which is ironic because they are activities that imply some sort of loneliness.
Misunderstood, in what sense?
 
I guess we all here deal with loneliness, but... how hard is for you all?

Sometimes, in other forums, I read people saying they deal with loneliness, but... dont feel like it really is a major problem to them. Or then sometimes they say "but then I went out with my partner...", and I feel that is not really loneliness.

At least to me loneliness really destroys my life. Makes my life hell. Be alone is just boredom for me. Spend the whole day with no one to talk about just for the sake to have some fun chat, to tell about your problems, to talk about the future. Time seems dead and useless. So much that my mouth feels glued, so I have to open it to stretch the muscles of my jaw.

Hear some music, enjoy it, but... alone, no one to say "this sounds good, right ?". No one to say "hey, you saw tthat? Looks cool."

How loneliness affects you ? And at what times you wish to have someone to talk ?
Loneliness mostly hits me late at night when I'm alone in bed staring at the ceiling. In the day I can fill the void.
 
I have just found this post , read all the responses and thought I'd throw my 2 cents in...I lost my middle daughter when she was 21..that was 24 years ago....then it was a domino effect of losing loved ones....almost 11 years ago I lost my husband. He was only 54 and suffered for 3 years...I seemed to be able to do so many, many things I enjoyed alone and never felt lonely except for him not being home when I got there...I met a few women, all ended up being brats. If I didn't do what they wanted they dumped me..I'm pretty easy and usually it doesn't matter to me what restaurant we ate at, but once I didn't want to go to a movie they wanted to see , I was dropped....another one when I told her it was hard for me to listen to her go on and on about hating her husband so much was very hard for me because I missed mine so much. She told me flat out that 's what she "needed" me for was to listen , she had other friends but couldn't talk to them about her husband, so she also dropped me....met 3 guy friends on dating sites...never romantic, just friends....one moved out of state and I guess forgot how to email, one got married, and the other I do have a little contact with....I have a small part of my family left....that I am so grateful for but they all either work FT or are in school...so not much time with them...I did date one man off and on for 2 years. He was a raging narcissist....claimed to be a recovering alcoholic but was actually a dry drunk..and did so much emotional abuse to me ..that it took me 2 years to understand it all and get through it , if I have completely..I knew something was wrong with him , but I guess so lonely I stayed and tried to figure out if I could help in anyway...wrong move....he did a lot of damage to me...I finally left..it's been just about 3 years..I still think of his words and wonder why I stayed so long....Sorry I had to go through all that so everyone would understand...I do agree with the poster who told another they might be alone because of past hurts...I completely agree...I really thought for a couple of years after this breakup that I wanted to meet a companion/partner ...join a group of woman with like interests..but I find myself....feeling like I want to and in the next breath remembering that even though I am very alone and FELT I needed more human contact, and maybe I do....I have yet to make that decision to truly put myself out there and possiblly get hurt again....I have met many ugly, sneaky people in my life who wore a mask pretending to be someone they weren't ...do I want that again? NO.....
 
Loneliness mostly hits me late at night when I'm alone in bed staring at the ceiling. In the day I can fill the void.
Being alone all day long is rough. My family used to be close. I have two siblings, but once my Mother died, it has not been the same. Both brothers are pretty much off on their own. If I want to get together I have to be the one to reach out. I even tried getting involved with my brother's nephew and his family, but they live way on the other side of town and have not invited me over for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have always initiated a get together with them and my Mom and my brothers at Christmas time. But last year was Covid, and I doubt very seriously we will get together this year. Unless they initiate it. It's really really sad. I see so many people having big family get togethers and everyone pitching in. It really breaks my heart.
 
Being alone all day long is rough. My family used to be close. I have two siblings, but once my Mother died, it has not been the same. Both brothers are pretty much off on their own. If I want to get together I have to be the one to reach out. I even tried getting involved with my brother's nephew and his family, but they live way on the other side of town and have not invited me over for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have always initiated a get together with them and my Mom and my brothers at Christmas time. But last year was Covid, and I doubt very seriously we will get together this year. Unless they initiate it. It's really really sad. I see so many people having big family get togethers and everyone pitching in. It really breaks my heart.
I can relate. I live in a very small town, living alone. I have two sisters living within a half mile who I see less than an hour a month. I think out of pity.
 
Loneliness makes me kind of needy. I feel irritated when my sister or my son don't respond to messages in a timely manner (like within 24 hours). They have busy lives, I think an hour for me is a day for them.

I think having too much time on my hands makes me overthink things a bit as well for example if I'm waiting for a blood test result I can easily check the site 3 times an hour, so annoying 😬
 

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