How much loneliness affects you ?

[solonely20]

Loneliness makes me kind of needy. I feel irritated when my sister or my son don't respond to messages in a timely manner (like within 24 hours). They have busy lives, I think an hour for me is a day for them.

I think having too much time on my hands makes me overthink things a bit as well for example if I'm waiting for a blood test result I can easily check the site 3 times an hour, so annoying

I am the same way.

 

[Sarah G]

I am the same way.

At least I'm not the only one. It's strange that we can feel embarrassed or ashamed of being lonely when it's not our fault.

 

[solonely20]

At least I'm not the only one. It's strange that we can feel embarrassed or ashamed of being lonely when it's not our fault.

I have scared people away because I'm needy. Sucks but that's the reality. I guess long time loneliness can do this.

Time to make a nice breakfast to comfort me.

 

[randomguy]

Ah you're in Oz, I was thinking 'pretty late for brekkie ' is it Friday morning there?, Thursday night here

 

[Sarah G]

I have scared people away because I'm needy. Sucks but that's the reality. I guess long time loneliness can do this.

Time to make a nice breakfast to comfort me.

Enjoy your breakfast. Maybe we can just come to this forum when we feel like bothering our families. I messaged my son yesterday at noon and he hasn't even read the message. It makes me feel like I'm bothering him, which is a horrible feeling.

 

[solonely20]

Enjoy your breakfast. Maybe we can just come to this forum when we feel like bothering our families. I messaged my son yesterday at noon and he hasn't even read the message. It makes me feel like I'm bothering him, which is a horrible feeling.

I'm sorry about that. If you ever want to chat I'm here just pm me Sarah

 

[lonelygeorge]

Loneliness is lying in bed in the dark and watching the second hand on an illuminated face of a clock go around and around.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Enjoy your breakfast. Maybe we can just come to this forum when we feel like bothering our families. I messaged my son yesterday at noon and he hasn't even read the message. It makes me feel like I'm bothering him, which is a horrible feeling.

My niece and nephews do this to my parents. I don't know if they are so wrapped up in their own lives that they forget or if they just think "oh, they're family, they'll be there for me when I want or need something" To me, it's disrespectful as hell. With my niece, I think it's more along the lines of making sure her friends like her. She's the type that changes to accommodate whoever she's around, like no one could possibly like her for who she is, she has to be who she thinks they want her to be, but she's very codependent. My nephew, he's just too busy trying to be the "cool" guy and hanging out with "old" people just isn't cool. With him, I'm his last ditch effort because he knows **** well I won't fall for his sob stories after everything he's done. I will and do tell him no a lot, because unlike my niece, he's irresponsible as fresia.

When I message them, they respond pretty quickly, but they only talk to me first when they want something from me.

 

[Sarah G]

My niece and nephews do this to my parents. I don't know if they are so wrapped up in their own lives that they forget or if they just think "oh, they're family, they'll be there for me when I want or need something" To me, it's disrespectful as hell. With my niece, I think it's more along the lines of making sure her friends like her. She's the type that changes to accommodate whoever she's around, like no one could possibly like her for who she is, she has to be who she thinks they want her to be, but she's very codependent. My nephew, he's just too busy trying to be the "cool" guy and hanging out with "old" people just isn't cool. With him, I'm his last ditch effort because he knows **** well I won't fall for his sob stories after everything he's done. I will and do tell him no a lot, because unlike my niece, he's irresponsible as fresia.

When I message them, they respond pretty quickly, but they only talk to me first when they want something from me.

I'm sick of it. I'll just leave them alone because it really hurts me to be ignored and feel like a nuisance. One day they'll figure it out

 

[Slick]

I;m Ok most of the time...but do believe that being alone constantly is not healthy for anyone...sometimes I have a full week , that I am alone, not a phone call, going out , talking to another human..that gets to me then and I have to push myself out the door, and at least be around other humans....

 

[Slick]

which actually was a very bad idea yesterday...I have heard many people say how bad drivers have gotten, how dangerous they drive and just how miserable most people are..at least in my area....so going to a couple of stores food shopping yesterday , was not as pleasant as usual . I usually strike up conversations, smile at everyone, instead I found many mean, nasty, angry people, 3 of whom yelled at me for no reason..it was no pleasant...

 

[TheRealCallie]

which actually was a very bad idea yesterday...I have heard many people say how bad drivers have gotten, how dangerous they drive and just how miserable most people are..at least in my area....so going to a couple of stores food shopping yesterday , was not as pleasant as usual . I usually strike up conversations, smile at everyone, instead I found many mean, nasty, angry people, 3 of whom yelled at me for no reason..it was no pleasant...

Sadly....tis the season. The holidays are fast approaching and people are getting more stressed and taking it out on random strangers. Happens every year.

 

[Sarah G]

which actually was a very bad idea yesterday...I have heard many people say how bad drivers have gotten, how dangerous they drive and just how miserable most people are..at least in my area....so going to a couple of stores food shopping yesterday , was not as pleasant as usual . I usually strike up conversations, smile at everyone, instead I found many mean, nasty, angry people, 3 of whom yelled at me for no reason..it was no pleasant...

Sorry it was awful. People here are grumpy and stressed because we're in another covid wave with partial lockdown and much division. I've given up saying hello to people, they just look scared and angry! Next time might be better though, these things tend to ebb and flow.

 

[Diagnosed]

I wish anybody alone be hugged and loved, as they need...

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

When I was 27, I spent 3 months without internet, cable, television, no friends in town, and living on half of a paycheck finishing up the last 3 months of my lease before moving...

honeysuckle got bad. Really bad. Like me hallucinating in my apartment, talking to myself in the hallway just to head the echo of myself after I stopped talking just to hear a voice after I stopped talking...level of bad....
For the next 2 years, I continued to talk to myself even when around others. I still do, but not to the unhealthy extent of that time.

It's taken me a few more years to realize that evolutionarily we simply haven't reached a point of advancement that solidarity can be pushed forward in a way that is simultaneously mentally healthy. The human brain just hasn't evolved to that level yet, and that's why we're social creatures (obvious needs for reproduction aside, this doesn't really apply to me though since I have no desire for children, a family life, or the fabled white picket fence).

Our Social Construct and Social Narrative conflict with what is natural to us instinctively as animals, which over the time of human history has required careful and meticulous management and that's why laws exist: to make sure things don't get too out of hand.

I think that too much mainstream and alternative media consumption is unhealthy and increases loneliness rather than decreases it, and that the more practical and intelligent thing to do would be to rely on reference research which actually teaches you how to better survive and make better decisions.

I need some form of social interaction, perhaps not a romantic or sexual relationship, or a deeply connected friendship (as I practice non-attachment for personal reasons), but some relativistic form of social interaction, purely because there is an innate, instinctual demand based upon our current evolutionary state on a scientific level of sociology. I practice non-attachment, largely because I don't like sociology...I understand it, I'm just, well, misanthropic, for a lack of a better way of putting it.

Time is the one thing that is most valuable, as when we spend our time, we cannot then get it back again. Once it is gone it is gone. So, I choose to invest my time into trying to progressively make myself more comfortable with what I find uncomfortable within the confines of the Social Construct, while trying to move between the Social Narrative as if a prisoner trying to starve themselves to be small enough to slip through the bars to escape his cell.

I am very well aware that I am dangerously "playing with fire" this way with both my mental and physical health, and that is why it is a solitary practice for me and I do not recommend or push it on others. It simply just is why I am the way that I am.

This is what allows me to balance myself against the otherwise overwhelming. It's a rather maligned form of detached acceptance that poses the question: Since I can't do X, how do I go about doing Y instead?

I'm a tinkerer by nature. That's just how I am.

 

[xxReidxx]

I

I guess we all here deal with loneliness, but... how hard is for you all?

Sometimes, in other forums, I read people saying they deal with loneliness, but... dont feel like it really is a major problem to them. Or then sometimes they say "but then I went out with my partner...", and I feel that is not really loneliness.

At least to me loneliness really destroys my life. Makes my life hell. Be alone is just boredom for me. Spend the whole day with no one to talk about just for the sake to have some fun chat, to tell about your problems, to talk about the future. Time seems dead and useless. So much that my mouth feels glued, so I have to open it to stretch the muscles of my jaw.

Hear some music, enjoy it, but... alone, no one to say "this sounds good, right ?". No one to say "hey, you saw tthat? Looks cool."

How loneliness affects you ? And at what times you wish to have someone to talk ?

I've always been left alone and excluded from Social encounters. Loneliness is only affecting me now more at age 27 but I've realized how important social interactions are now for a career. Also I get the sense that social interactions may be good for the soul because the pull to inceldom is only getting stronger on my own.

 

[Colster]

Loneliness, when it grips, it tries to squeeze out every last breath of hope.

I have often found myself wandering around my tiny home, completely vacant, as if searching for a purpose or meaning, as if it slipped behind the sofa, or was accidentally boxed up.

Walking the dog turned into cross county treks. And if I could not walk, there were those days when I simply say the while day through. No distractions, no interaction, nothing. I might have sat beyond midnight, in total darkness, having not registered any emotion or having any thoughts occur.

In one occasion, I found myself doing internet searches for suitable ways to kill myself, that would not inconvenience anyone. The internet refused to cooperate, and even restrict access is some parts. This only infuriated me further.

I am at a peculiar stage in life. Done with the superficial excesses, and tired of social networking revolving almost entirely around drink.

Some suggest finding new hobbies and making new friends. Annoyingly, you start to see the same characters, just in different settings. You go from a pub setting to a walking group frequented by older people, yet familiar traits appear.

Whenever I did answer my phone, people would begin with the faux concern, which might last a minute or two, before promptly detailing their issues, or requesting some form of service from me. There's never a space for a discussion about whatever might be on my mind.

I've grown accustomed to birthdays being forgotten, Christmas, father's day, and just about every other occasion when folks usually wish you something happy.

Occasionally, I'll get a little pissed off. A plethora of people, neighbours and such, pass right by door. If I'm outside, sometimes they'll comment on my activities, either gardening or the car. There's never any question about me, an I good, how's my day, did you see...

I've seen all four corners of this country, alone. Established several businesses, alone. Eat, sleep, walk the dog, alone. It gets tiring after a while.

Be no mistake, mine is not a tale of woe. If I simply go back to being the bloke who is there for everyone, put on a fake smile, and return to flamboyant character who is an entertainer; then yes, I will once again be surrounded by people, asking things of me.

As I have mentioned in other posts, I'm fine being in my own company. Although, sometimes some conversation with others, is not only nice, but essential. Lately, I have been craving it.

 

[Azariah]

I used to be affected by loneliness but i think i've overcome it.

 

[mizera]

Loneliness makes me not want to leave my apartment. I just want comfort and ease. I don't want any trouble at work, or any drama with people. I just want to feel safe, and the safest place is my bed. My guiding principle is that I must do what I can to keep things the way they are. I don't want anything bad to happen, because there is a fragility to my existence that cannot hold if there is any stress.

I've been alone for a long time. Some periods have been less lonely than others. Years back I was in an outpatient substance clinic and made a few friends there. I wasn't lonely then. One friend from there lives close by and we used to take walks sometimes. She was talkative and I enjoyed our relationship. But then she met her boyfriend and that was that. What is interesting about that is how I felt less lonely during that time, with only one person to talk to. It doesn't take that much, it seems. If I had a girlfriend, I'm sure my loneliness would fade. I just need one good friend. But relationships that involve sex can be complicated, and aren't always happy.

So I got into the gym, to get in good shape and improve myself. Things were going great until a few months ago when I hurt my knee. I thought it was minor but then it didn't go away. So now I have my first physical therapy tomorrow and I'm not sure it's going to work. This is the kind of bad thing that I feared happening. The gym is my lifeline, what I need to delay aging and improve my body and self esteem. And now I've stopped going. I pray that this problem goes away, because I'm worried.

I have my cat, but he's not long for this world. It makes me sad. If the cat was healthy, I would be much happier and motivated. Lately I've been going on this site and the reddit site more than ever, looking for something to relate to. Unfortunately I can't relate to what I read on the reddit site because the majority of people there are under 25.

There are two good parts of my day. There used to be a third part after I'm done at the gym, but that's on hold for now. I like the morning when I have my two coffees and read the news. Then I like the evening when I get into bed with my laptop and tv on. If only I could have something good to read or watch at all times, I think I could deal with life better. But most of what I read or watch feels like passing the time. I can't focus all my attention on a tv show unless it's very good, and I think I've already seen everything. So often I find myself reading the internet with some crime show in the background. It makes me feel bad because I really should be doing something else.

I enjoy reading movie and tv reviews on forums. When someone says that they are on their second time watching a series, I smile inside. Here is someone who has nothing better to do than rewatch hours upon hours of tv. I wonder how many of these tv lovers are lonely like me. It's better knowing there are others like me just craving a distraction from their lives.