How much time have you wasted in solitude?

[The-One]

I realised recently after my birthday that it was 10 years since I reached puberty, what a waste of a decade. It all started to go downhill when sexual attraction became part of one's life and when I realised that an ugly asian male was about as attractive to white females as a drug needle with HIV.

It's morbidly amusing looking back to see the long term repercussions of that, and how that one thing led to social eptitude, personality defects, mental illness, lack of social network and support, poorer career prospects (what with the poor social skills and all). Not to mention the years spent in university halls alone in a room masturbating to porn while real boy and girls were ******* each other down the corridor.

An end to my ugliness will of course come soon, in the form of advanced medical/dental/sports science. In recent times my parents have agreed to help (I said help, not a handout) me with the upfront costs. My mother used to think that one day, I'll "grow out of it" and realise the value of inner beauty when I meet a nice girl. My father used to think that I as a shell of a man, couldn't be more pathetic. Both are ready to admit they were wrong after a decade and that they just want to see a grandchild someday and that should I die suddenly, someone will notice that I'm actually dead and inform them of said fact.

So it's 10 years for me, how about you?

 

[Kenny]

19

 

[ForeverLonging]

Are you getting any help?

 

[fuzzybutt]

5 years man.

 

[jimmymckooel]

I'll say in total at least 5. Sometimes I can fit in amongst them, but it's hard work. The herd are the herd.

 

[Shutter]

Don't worry about those people "******* each other down the corridor" while you were alone in college. Those people all got sexually-transmitted diseases, babies that they couldn't afford, abortions that will emotionally traumatize them for life, and 18 years of child support payments for their little dalliances.You steered clear of all that. You did good.

To answer your question, I've been alone now for about 16 years. I've functioned semi-normally in those years at times, and at times I've been a total hermit. Life's been better when I'm functioning semi-normally. Being a total hermit really messes with your mind.

 

[Poueff]

Don't worry about those people "******* each other down the corridor" while you were alone in college. Those people all got sexually-transmitted diseases, babies that they couldn't afford, abortions that will emotionally traumatize them for life, and 18 years of child support payments for their little dalliances.You steered clear of all that. You did good

No they didn't. I know we're into supporting and stuff,but lying about said stuff isn't really going to help. They can be ******* each other down the corridor and have a brain functional enough to grab a condom and place it on their dick. Yeah,support him,say he's better than the standards he sets himself in,and he is,without any shadow of a doubt he is better than what he looks himself as,but fresia it if others can't have fun without getting STDs or a baby.

Two of my close friends and classmates (couple,boy and girl) just lost their virginity the other day. Yeah,12 year olds having sex is not the healthiest thing around,but are they too "fun-dumb" to grab a condom? Really,jesus christ.

Saying others suck because they aren't having a hard time is nonsense. And tbh it doesn't help. /rant

---

So,I've wasted... 10 months. Ten horrible months,but still ten months. I wouldn't be able to last ten years,you are hell more resilient than I am. Good luck on everything...

 

[Shutter]

Condoms don't always work. You would be surprised at some of the things that happen with sex. Not just STD's, but things like false rape charges against guys who have consensual sex and are later accused of rape because the woman had ulterior motives or changed her mind. What if some sperm happens to slip through and the woman gets pregnant and she has the baby. Then the guy either has to partner with this woman and raise a child that he's not ready for, or get slapped with 18 years of child support payments because it's his child. That kind of thing happens. These circumstances are relevant because this is a guy were talking about. I'm saying look at the circumstances he could have found himself in. He avoided that. His life could be WORSE now due to having those sexual relations, but all he sees is how bad it is because he didn't get any. That's the wrong way to look at it. There are so many ways that having sex can ruin your life. It's good that he avoided those things.

 

[Poueff]

Condoms don't always work. You would be surprised at some of the things that happen with sex. Not just STD's, but things like false rape charges against guys who have consensual sex and are later accused of rape because the woman had ulterior motives or changed her mind. What if some sperm happens to slip through and the woman gets pregnant and she has the baby. Then the guy either has to partner with this woman and raise a child that he's not ready for, or get slapped with 18 years of child support payments because it's his child. That kind of thing happens. These circumstances are relevant because this is a guy were talking about. I'm saying look at the circumstances he could have found himself in. He avoided that. His life could be WORSE now due to having those sexual relations, but all he sees is how bad it is because he didn't get any. That's the wrong way to look at it. There are so many ways that having sex can ruin your life. It's good that he avoided those things.

That's a bad point to make. It's like saying:
"It's good you didn't went to the amusement park,there could be some kids who spilled ice cream on you and the roller coaster could have had some problems and you'd die. Wasn't it good that you missed out on such disaster?"

Then,I'll never play soccer cause I can get hurt,I can fall and scratch my knee or twist my ankle. I'lç miss out on everything good in life just because I'm afraid something may go wrong. Do you drive? If you don't,awesome,cause you probably won't have any accidents behind the wheel.

Yeah,condoms can break,they can spill,they can do honeysuckle,but that's when you either:
-Don't properly use them
-Your partner does something wrong

You can die from walking on the street,so don't go,you can trip and hit your head in the sidewalk.

And no,they can't do that. After the actual sex,the vagina has some small "marks",even if you are the kindest guy in the world,your dick's head is bigger than the whole,so it's obviously going to try and stretch in. And that leaves a small mark. Consensual sex leaves one kind of them,since it's more rough and the woman isn't fighting back. Rapes leave other kind of marks. It's called the clock method,and most gynos can check them out and give a decent conclusion.

 

[Shutter]

If you are really in 7th grade, Poueff, you shouldn't be talking so graphically about sex. You know too much. Especially for this forum. I'll defend all the 20-year-old virgins here. 30-year-old virgins, too. Everyone else is telling them they are losers, I'm telling them there are benefits to abstaining.

 

[Poueff]

If you are really in 7th grade, Poueff, you shouldn't be talking so graphically about sex. You know too much. Especially for this forum. I'll defend all the 20-year-old virgins here. 30-year-old virgins, too. Everyone else is telling them they are losers, I'm telling them there are benefits to abstaining.

I defend them too. FFS one of the guys considered one of the top PUAs evah only had kissed two girls until he was 25. So yeah,it doesn't really matter.

But I won't use excuses as "they now are pregnant and full of STDs cause they had sex and a good time" when that is impossible. I bet most virgins here,beside being virgins,are also smart as hell people who,even though can work,will fail if they start really thinking about it.

Instead of saying that,I go more around the lines of "it doesn't matter the past,what you do with yourself from here onwards is more important. You don't have to have sex,just see yourself in high regard,there's no reason not to. Besides,if you do see yourself in high regard,sex will come eventually". Cause that's true,if they don't see themselfs and don't think the society fins them useless,dull,and all that kind of stuff,they won't be.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Hmm... for me ... Well that kind of depends on how you view wasted time. For all the years I did not really have friends.... and still don't. I would say that I have only wasted... 1 maybe 1.5 years.

Yes I was not out making new friends. However, I was out doing stuff and living my life. For example in high school there was only 2 months where I did nothing. In the fall I was in marching band, in the winter I was the basketball team manager and on ski patrol, in the spring I tended to experiment one year I did track another I did training for baseball, and during the summer I worked at boy scout camp.

When I got to college I will say I slowed down a little. However, my freshman year I spent very little time alone. My room was the party room. People came and went as they pleased. My roommates were always getting into trouble with the RA. I was also taking an EMT course. My sophomore year I was really into the martial arts club. Though I sucked it was fun and took up most of my time. My junior and senior year I was placed on a lot of projects for school.

When I got out of college I was busy moving and starting a new job. There was a bit of downtime while I got my bearings and was waiting to meet a female I met on another forum. Then I had very little down time till she left me for a title with another man.

Really that was my only extended downtime. After she left me I was devastated. However, now I am over it. So I guess my point is that while I was alone in the past. The only time when I was just wasting away was very little. I was just not developing social skills.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I realised recently after my birthday that it was 10 years since I reached puberty, what a waste of a decade. It all started to go downhill when sexual attraction became part of one's life and when I realised that an ugly asian male was about as attractive to white females as a drug needle with HIV.

It's morbidly amusing looking back to see the long term repercussions of that, and how that one thing led to social eptitude, personality defects, mental illness, lack of social network and support, poorer career prospects (what with the poor social skills and all). Not to mention the years spent in university halls alone in a room masturbating to porn while real boy and girls were ******* each other down the corridor.

An end to my ugliness will of course come soon, in the form of advanced medical/dental/sports science. In recent times my parents have agreed to help (I said help, not a handout) me with the upfront costs. My mother used to think that one day, I'll "grow out of it" and realise the value of inner beauty when I meet a nice girl. My father used to think that I as a shell of a man, couldn't be more pathetic. Both are ready to admit they were wrong after a decade and that they just want to see a grandchild someday and that should I die suddenly, someone will notice that I'm actually dead and inform them of said fact.

So it's 10 years for me, how about you?

Whoa. That's crazy to me. I'm a white woman who has found lots of asian men attractive. I figured that they could never be attracted to me though because I've never been super thin (I assume that's what they like, since most asian women look that way.) So I've always, ironically, been intimidated by them.

 

[bdfrommich]

Hello, first post here, or anywhere. I'm 48 and I feel I wasted my entire life in solitude. Upbringing, genetics, who knows? If you're young do whatever it takes to break free of this. I see no future, my past is a joke. The resources are there, use them. Please don't let the time slip away.

 

[HermesReborn]

Dude I'm 23 going on 24, A recovering Drug Addict with an Alcoholic Mother and a BiPolar Father.
Not to mention I'm a musician and all the circles I travel are filled with downward spirals back into the oblivion of addiction.

I spend my ENTIRE LIFE in Isolation. Either in a studio or in a room making music.
You shouldn't really let the ugliness bother you BTW.
Superficiality is an invention of pop culture.
Something we're all brainwashed. It's not a maxim.
In reality women are not as superficial as they seem.
(least when they're out of there teens)
What everyone wants is to find someone they can stand and who can stand them for more than 20 minutes.

Just open your mouth.
Say Hi.
And they'll all be waiting for you.

 

[A new life]

Solitude good
Feeling unloved bad
(how's that for brevity?)