I’m nearly 30, never had a boyfriend, life, job.. nothing.

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Eternitydreamer

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I feel like I have blinked and missed life. The kids I went to school with i last saw in 2008, so many are married, most went to university and some have children. All I see in my head is those kids that bullied me or I just went to school with. I see wedding photos, baby pictures.. I feel like I’ve just woken up from some dream. I did none of that. I see myself walking around school age 13, then see these pictures of these people in wedding attire and clutching babies. And here I am in bed with nothing. I don’t want those things I just feel so.. lost.
 
I'm sorry to hear that, I wish I knew what to say but I don't. It makes me really upset to see how much being bullied can take away from a person and how it can affect them years later.
 
Bad parenting and bad education system breed bullies and trash. Almost all my classmates buddies males and females, except me and few others got married had kids. It's not for everyone. Myself and many around me also don't have partners, kids, completely alone. For me and many others it's impossible to find a life partner. i would not want to bring another human into this world to suffer.
 
Ugh life is so complicated, we are all fed such static one size fits all image of success that its hard to see the success within a normal life right here right now, im here to say you can be happy and successful in your own way😇 Also them bullies dont deserve a second more of your time, thinking about them or even seeing the best 10 seconds of their life on social media.
 
Also, they may look like they have a lot. But, that doesn't mean they are happy. This is your life. Do what you want to do with it. People suck. Get rid of the expectations that you carry around on your back and just do whatever you want to do.
Thanks for finishing off my paragraphs finished 😇 this is totally where I was going…
 
If you've never had a job before, I would suggest trying really hard to get a job at a library. I don't know what your situation is or if you aren't able to work under certain conditions; but, probably better to work at finding some sort of work. It's hard out there. And then, if you can manage to do that, try creating a side-gig for yourself. If you are lucky, the side-gig will become more profitable than the actual work you have to do. At that point, you will have more self-actualization, and more autonomy; life will be less about what you don't have.

If that all seems impossible, just do your best, and don't worry about the rest...
 
If you've never had a job before, I would suggest trying really hard to get a job at a library. I don't know what your situation is or if you aren't able to work under certain conditions; but, probably better to work at finding some sort of work. It's hard out there. And then, if you can manage to do that, try creating a side-gig for yourself. If you are lucky, the side-gig will become more profitable than the actual work you have to do. At that point, you will have more self-actualization, and more autonomy; life will be less about what you don't have.

If that all seems impossible, just do your best, and don't worry about the rest...
I considered the library but you need to study at university for it and I’m not interested in library management studies or uni life…. I am currently trying to get into health care and applied for a free course. I have possible NVLD and mild dyscalculia and can’t read well either so I’m doomed there.
 
I considered the library but you need to study at university for it and I’m not interested in library management studies or uni life…. I am currently trying to get into health care and applied for a free course. I have possible NVLD and mild dyscalculia and can’t read well either so I’m doomed there.
are there any apprenticeship to learn a trade in your area? I don't know what your area of interests are so I don't know what to recommend.
It's good to hear that you've applied for a free course though. No harm in trying.
 
are there any apprenticeship to learn a trade in your area? I don't know what your area of interests are so I don't know what to recommend.
It's good to hear that you've applied for a free course though. No harm in trying.
I am interested in helping the older folk that’s my dream. I was accepted into course.
 
Hello there... hope your feeling okay today. I don't like reading posts like this, one, because the OP is obviously down about things, but also because it demonstrates perfectly how literally everybody 'certainly in the western world' is totally conditioned as to what so-called 'success' means.... and do you know what...?? It's all BS..!!
Success is... 'contentment' ... that's it. The amount of people that apparently 'have it all' yet are secrectly un contented and miserable is in the billions... You mention univeristy, it's only in recent years that seemingly 'everyone' simply 'has' to go to 'UNI' (ghastly term) ... but when I left school, out of a class of thirty kids, I would say you'd be lucky if five went to university (and it was free then) everyone else went out and got a job... also, book smart doesn't equate to genuine intelligence, and don't forget the millions of people that went to 'UNI' who have a job in the field they studied for... and guess what, yep, are still uncontented (down to their mindset and social conditioning as to always wanting more) so try not to worry about never having gone to university, honestly...it's not 'all that.' Relationships: yeah, all great at the beginning, then often becomes stale unless you both 'work' at it, and this is something many people fail to recognise, that relationships require 'work and effort' from both sides, I also think many people that are constantly seeking a relationship actually simply want the 'feeling' of 'being wanted and validated' rather than an actual relationship and all that goes with it. Marriage: been there, done that.. now divorced, and would never EVER EVER EEEVVVEEEERRRRRR get married again. Kid's...yep, mine are all grown up now, and yes there are nice times to having children, but something nobody ever tells you is that bringing up children is more often than not 'an awful, unrewarding..slog.' When they get into their twenties, you would be one of the lucky ones if they call you or bother with you very much, unless they want something from you that is. This isn't everybodies experience, but is the experience of many millions of parents around the world I'm sure. This may all seen to be very pessimistic and downbeat, but unfortunately it's the truth in my opinion, of course some of the scenarios above can be great, but they can also be, and often are 'not all that' and usually never come up to our delusional expectations, fuelled by Hollywood, social media, TV etc etc. You already have a HUGE headstart... you said 'I dont' want those things' thats such a massive plus for you as you seemingly know yourself, thats something many people if not most people don't know of themselves... so you must be doing something right..? The next time you see somebody you know either currently, or previously from school etc, posting pictures of themselves on social media or whatever it is (please excuse me as I don't do social media at all and have no idea of the names of them all).. the next time you see somebody posing about their house, their car, their job, their looks, their....oh lets just say 'their anything' don't think 'wow, they have everything and I have nothing... think, 'theres a person struggling with self worth, and in reality is seeking validation from anywhere they can find it' They are not contented, if they were they would not feel the need to self publicise their personal lives.
 
Life is not fair sadly not everyone gets their just desserts and that is a fact. So my advice is out of sight out of mind. I watched my friend obsess over his girlfriend after he impulsively broke up with her on my advice. Trust me she was toxic.

The whole romance thing I do not care about myself. However you just have to put yourself out there and if someone approaches just say yes. Just like all other things you need to go out and try. Trust me having a goal and a target to work towards will make those annoying feelings go away
 
I feel like I have blinked and missed life. The kids I went to school with i last saw in 2008, so many are married, most went to university and some have children. All I see in my head is those kids that bullied me or I just went to school with. I see wedding photos, baby pictures.. I feel like I’ve just woken up from some dream. I did none of that. I see myself walking around school age 13, then see these pictures of these people in wedding attire and clutching babies. And here I am in bed with nothing. I don’t want those things I just feel so.. lost.

I feel pretty similar to you. Unresolved issues from bullying in school have held me back for years, and just recently I suffered another setback. No real friends except a couple online, and only a couple of relationships that didn't last very long (and one was long distance, sol I barely got to be with her. I wish I had the answers, but I'm as lost as you.
 
I see wedding photos, baby pictures.. I feel like I’ve just woken up from some dream. I did none of that. I see myself walking around school age 13, then see these pictures of these people in wedding attire and clutching babies.

Sounds like step one should be eliminating social media (or at least cutting right back).
 
Focus on finding job and making friends for now while you're still young. Sadly there are men out there who would target women in your situation. And horse before the cart, it's better to have others in your life first before getting intimate with someone. I got humiliated more or less continuously throughout school. The thing I miss most from that part of life is a social circle, a peer group, etc. Friends make life worth living.
 
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You're nearly 30? I'm nearly 70 and I've lived my own version of the scenarios you're describing. You'll never be as young as you are now and the multiple age thresholds of life will come and go faster than anyone expects. Pick up from where you are now and make your tomorrows a bit better than your yesterdays.
And comparing yourself to other peoples' lives never, ever helps.
 
I am sorry. I spent my late teens to early 30’s secluded and reclusive due to my insecurities. I managed to finish a program at school and joined a dating site, got married a couple years later, have a career. But now I am still friendless and bad at making friends. I would say try to do more. I regret wasting a whole decade in my 20s due to personal hangups.
 

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