I am an oddball, but what's this thing about 'cheating?'

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Well-known member
Sep 15, 2008
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BC, Canada
My two cents worth and if you deem it as a judgement, so be it:

You’ve been married to your wife for 44 years, and maybe love doesn’t exist between you now, but once upon a time it did. If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn’t you want your wife to tell you the truth, to acknowledge the time you’ve spent together and respect you as a person with feelings and emotion? You’re adamant against rules, but what about basic decency between two people who have spent over four decades together? No, I’ve never been in your shoes but I do believe that being with a person for that long commands a certain level of honesty and truth - otherwise, it’s a slap in the face to the love and devotion you once shared.
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The Handler
Feb 7, 2014
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To me a marriage is someone you are building a life with. You have to have common goals, what type of home, do you want kids, etc. If the goals in your marriage is to include other people, so be it. Marriage is 100-100, not 50-50, and as long at both people are 100% fine with it, then I guess to each their own. I would never want that, but I didn't marry someone that would go for that anyways.

IMO though, this situation does not seem to be one where both people mutually want more sexual partners. It just seems like a loveless marriage.
Mar 21, 2020
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In my mind
That's a tough situation. I've always been a very sexual person in relationships. I couldn't go very long without sex. For me it's a very important part. It brings people together. I don't know how I would handle a relationship where the other person no longer wanted to have sex with me. I always assumed in later years both people would slowly loose interest in sex and the relationship would continue fine without it. But, I've never been in that situation.

My gut reaction would be that I wouldn't want to have sex with someone else. But, I'm sure after awhile I would want to. I'm speaking hypothetically because I haven't had sex with another person in more then a decade and don't plan to ever again. So, maybe I would be fine not having sex with my mate.

But, I can't image that. Even now if a woman wanted to have a relationship with me I would both assume and want to have sex with her. Otherwise I would atleast partially think why bother. We would just be friends.

That is a tough situation. I guess it's just another bullet that I dodged.

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