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I am Undateable

Sankar_82

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When you read the title "I am Undateable", as a reader you may write off as some sad story  complaining about how my dating life sucks. Please do read and tell whether you are in the same boat as I am. I am thinking to quit the dating / relationship after I felt constantly rejected and friendzoned. 

I am a 38 yr old single man, no kids. I am an Indian guy living and working in Norway. I have lived in six countries before settling here in Norway. I am an open minded and easy going person by nature. Whenever I get rejected by women, I ask myself some questions...Why women don't like me? Whenever I ask out a girl, the reply I get is "your a nice guy but blah blah blah" the usual reply. It makes me think that women are only looking for a bad guy who treat them like shit. I hear women say they want a good man in their life and I find this contradictory. 

To be frank, I do feel hurted by my situation and sometimes I cry over it. It is okay to cry, the negative emotions are being spilled out of my body so I do not feel choked in my throat. I am hopelessly romantic and very caring guy. I love loving. what is wrong in that? I have lots of love, care and affection to give to a woman but they don't want it. Women don't even bother to give me time of the day then how can I possible date one?

I tried online dating, directly approached in person...whatever means a man do to talk to a woman, all I get in return is only rejection. I have wasted my time, money, emotions and energy...now I feel drained by the constant rejections, friendzoning, ghosting and flaking behaviour from women. The most hurtful thing I experienced is when I talked to a girl she didn't even bother to reply or even look at me, as if I was invisible to her. Ignorance is a bliss!!!

Nice guys finish last!!! Yeah, it’s important to know that it’s better not to play a game when its already rigged. I'm not nice to people so they'll be nice to me, I'm nice to people because that's who I am. Isn’t all women want a nice man who loves and respect them, have both moral and physical courage, be honest, have a proper job with healthy finances, will be caring person, be a good life partner who is reliable…well I fulfill all this criteria but still the damn NO!!! I don’t get it what more a guy can do. I had to accept the fact that I am “undateable.” I am meant to be single for life, well its fine I accept it.

Once I started owning my fate, I became more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t worry about rejection/ ignorance anymore because I’ve already been through the worst rejections. It’s helped rid me of a lot of my own insecurities because I’m more accepting of who I am. My mind is freed up to think about more important things other than why dating has never worked out for me, or why women never thought I was good enough for them. The most valuable thing I can give another person is my TIME, If they don't appreciate it then I better spend it on myself.
 
M

Myra

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Sankar_82 said:
I have lived in six countries before settling here in Norway.
How long have you lived in Norway? When you always move from one country to the next, the women don't see you as someone who is going to settle or who is worth investing time in, for obvious reasons, because you'll be moving away anyway. How should that work?

I was once on a dating site and there was a guy I met. As I found out after already having wasted 1-2 months of time, he was simultaneously applying for jobs all over Europe while having stated on the dating website that he is looking for a long term partner. I was perplexed. I cannot follow that kind of confused logic. 

Sankar_82 said:
It makes me think that women are only looking for a bad guy who treat them like shit. I hear women say they want a good man in their life and I find this contradictory. 
Is you dad a bad guy? Your brother? Your male friends? They are probably not all single either even though they aren't bad guys who treat their women like shit.


Sankar_82 said:
Isn’t all women want a nice man who loves and respect them, have both moral and physical courage, be honest, have a proper job with healthy finances, will be caring person, be a good life partner who is reliable…well I fulfill all this criteria but still the damn NO!!! I don’t get it what more a guy can do. I had to accept the fact that I am “undateable.” I am meant to be single for life, well its fine I accept it.
Being a member of the work force is something every average person is. Being physically stronger than women is something every average male is. Wanting a long term partner is something average for men too. Treating our fellow human beings and family with respect is average for humans too. So those are just standard things and don't entitle you to anything unfortunately.


Sorry that you are disappointed. It's good you are concentrating on more important things. Life is short and not all of us will get what others get. And even if they do, sooner or later they'll end up alone again anyway. We all come into this life alone and we'll go out alone again. That's how it is. It's better to get used to loneliness from a young age.
 

Sankar_82

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Myra said:
Sankar_82 said:
I have lived in six countries before settling here in Norway.
How long have you lived in Norway? When you always move from one country to the next, the women don't see you as someone who is going to settle or who is worth investing time in, for obvious reasons, because you'll be moving away anyway. How should that work?

I was once on a dating site and there was a guy I met. As I found out after already having wasted 1-2 months of time, he was simultaneously applying for jobs all over Europe while having stated on the dating website that he is looking for a long term partner. I was perplexed. I cannot follow that kind of confused logic. 

[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]I have been living in Norway for 4 years and i have a permanent job here, My current city is my home for life. In my past when i was travelling and living shortly in other places i never dated a girl under the pre-text of lying to her that i am looking for LTR. I was always open and honest about what i tell people. Not all people are lucky to get a permanent job as soon as they graduate, the best you get is a contract job and with that experience you try to get a permanent one. So do not judge me based your bad experiences in life.[/font]

Sankar_82 said:
It makes me think that women are only looking for a bad guy who treat them like shit. I hear women say they want a good man in their life and I find this contradictory. 
Is you dad a bad guy? Your brother? Your male friends? They are probably not all single either even though they aren't bad guys who treat their women like shit.

My dad is from older generation. My brother is married at 40, he had his share of struggles. I am stating the fact based on my experiences and what i see in this current society and how women behave. I understand you being a women, feel hurt when you read my story but truth is a bitter tonic.

Sankar_82 said:
Isn’t all women want a nice man who loves and respect them, have both moral and physical courage, be honest, have a proper job with healthy finances, will be caring person, be a good life partner who is reliable…well I fulfill all this criteria but still the damn NO!!! I don’t get it what more a guy can do. I had to accept the fact that I am “undateable.” I am meant to be single for life, well its fine I accept it.
Being a member of the work force is something every average person is. Being physically stronger than women is something every average male is. Wanting a long term partner is something average for men too. Treating our fellow human beings and family with respect is average for humans too. So those are just standard things and don't entitle you to anything unfortunately.

What do women expect then apart from the "standard things" men have? What i was mentioning is the expectations of women. Those things you mentioned that are "average" and "standard"...maybe they are to a entitled princess but not to a normal person. I am not entitled but by reply it is you who is entitled. what more do you expect from a man? what do you bring to the table?

Sorry that you are disappointed. It's good you are concentrating on more important things. Life is short and not all of us will get what others get. And even if they do, sooner or later they'll end up alone again anyway. We all come into this life alone and we'll go out alone again. That's how it is. It's better to get used to loneliness from a young age.

Hey I know about life, we came alone and we go alone. you don't have to teach me about life. I wrote what i felt and experienced. So stop preaching me about life. 
 
M

Myra

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Sankar_82 said:
 So do not judge me based your bad experiences in life.
You're pretty sensitive. Did I say it was a bad experience? Did I judge you? No. It wasn't even a bad experience. I said I cannot understand why someone expects to find a relationship if they are trying to move away. It makes zero sense.  Most women don't throw away their jobs and social lives to move from country to country where they don't know the language just to follow a dude they barely know. And most women don't want short term dating either. So I was explaining to you why in fact your chances have been pretty slim until maybe 4 years ago but then you already hit your mid thirties and by that time your dating pool has declined anyway because most women your age will have settled already. You can't blame women for everything.

Sankar_82 said:
I understand you being a women, feel hurt when you read my story but truth is a bitter tonic.
 :( I'm hurt because women don't want to date you? Oh yes. My throat is choked.

Sankar_82 said:
It is okay to cry, the negative emotions are being spilled out of my body so I do not feel choked in my throat
I also just wept a bit after being forced to drink the bitter tonic of truth by the oracle of incels.


Those things you mentioned that are "average" and "standard"...maybe they are to a entitled princess but not to a normal person..
huh?!?! I don't know what it's like where you live, but yes over here men are stronger than women and most adults are in the workforce and most adults want to get married. It would be cool if that meant the average people here are all princesses & princes walking around... it would be a pretty world.


Sankar_82 said:
I am not entitled but by reply it is you who is entitled. what more do you expect from a man?
Where does my reply say that I expect something from a man or even want one? 


Hey I know about life, we came alone and we go alone. you don't have to teach me about life. I wrote what i felt and experienced. So stop preaching me about life.
I wonder why women (or people?) don't like you even though you are a very nice Nice Guy :) What do you think?
 

TheRealCallie

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The bad boy vs nice guy debate has happened several times on this forum, so I'm just going to skip over that. Because it's pointless and you wouldn't like what I say anyway....they never do :p lol

Okay, moving on. How do you feel about yourself? Do you like yourself, hate yourself, both?
What do you do? Work, hobbies, etc.
Where are you going to meet these people? Bars, work, groups, volunteering, etc.
Have you all but given up on finding someone? Like if you go up to someone, do you think you failed before you even open your mouth?
What type of women are you going after? "good looking" ones, average one, everyone, successful ones, etc.
What are your flaws?
What are your strengths?

You don't have to give me the answer to those questions, it's more important for you to answer them for yourself and really think about the answers.
 

Sankar_82

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Myra said:
Sankar_82 said:
 So do not judge me based your bad experiences in life.
You're pretty sensitive. Did I say it was a bad experience? Did I judge you? No. It wasn't even a bad experience. I said I cannot understand why someone expects to find a relationship if they are trying to move away. It makes zero sense.  Most women don't throw away their jobs and social lives to move from country to country where they don't know the language just to follow a dude they barely know. And most women don't want short term dating either. So I was explaining to you why in fact your chances have been pretty slim until maybe 4 years ago but then you already hit your mid thirties and by that time your dating pool has declined anyway because most women your age will have settled already. You can't blame women for everything.

Sankar_82 said:
I understand you being a women, feel hurt when you read my story but truth is a bitter tonic.
 :( I'm hurt because women don't want to date you? Oh yes. My throat is choked.

Sankar_82 said:
It is okay to cry, the negative emotions are being spilled out of my body so I do not feel choked in my throat
I also just weeped a bit after being forced to drink the bitter tonic of truth by the oracle of incels.


Those things you mentioned that are "average" and "standard"...maybe they are to a entitled princess but not to a normal person..
huh?!?! I don't know what it's like where you live, but yes over here men are stronger than women and most adults are in the workforce and most adults want to get married.  It would be cool if that meant the average people here are all princesses & princes walking around... it would be a pretty world.


Sankar_82 said:
I am not entitled but by reply it is you who is entitled. what more do you expect from a man?
Where does my reply say that I expect something from a man or even want one? 


Hey I know about life, we came alone and we go alone. you don't have to teach me about life. I wrote what i felt and experienced. So stop preaching me about life.
I wonder why women (or people?) don't like you even though you are a very nice Nice Guy :) What do you think?

I am not an incel. what is wrong with crying alone just to get rid of the negative emotions? Like you never cried in your entire life...Your telling a man in mid-30's have less options because of age, how about women hitting the wall in their 30's...and crying where are all the good men gone? Men age like wine and Women age like milk it is a fact...I am not talking about character of a women but the biological clock ticks faster when your in 30's.

I recently recruited 2 female employees not because they are women, i did it because they are knowledgeable candidates for the job. By doing this I rejected 3 male candidates who applied for the job but with less experience and they did not do well in the interview.

There is no point of replying to you since you do not or prefer not to understand how others feel, what makes you a narcissistic bitch even though you think your a Nice Girl...Generally people like me and I get along fine with all.
I choose to be by myself forever is also a decision that people should try to understand and respect. There is not one single formula for happiness.


TheRealCallie said:
The bad boy vs nice guy debate has happened several times on this forum, so I'm just going to skip over that. Because it's pointless and you wouldn't like what I say anyway....they never do :p  lol

Okay, moving on.  How do you feel about yourself? Do you like yourself, hate yourself, both? 
What do you do?  Work, hobbies, etc. 
Where are you going to meet these people?  Bars, work, groups, volunteering, etc.
Have you all but given up on finding someone?  Like if you go up to someone, do you think you failed before you even open your mouth?
What type of women are you going after?  "good looking" ones, average one, everyone, successful ones, etc.
What are your flaws? 
What are your strengths?

You don't have to give me the answer to those questions, it's more important for you to answer them for yourself and really think about the answers.

Thank you for your reply. Those are good questions and I will definitely think about it. Have a good day  :)
 
M

Myra

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Sankar_82 said:
Your telling a man in mid-30's have less options because of age, how about women hitting the wall in their 30's...and crying where are all the good men gone? Men age like wine and Women age like milk it is a fact...I am not talking about character of a women but the biological clock ticks faster when your in 30's.
Ok then in your logic: because their biological clock is ticking when they're 30 you should understand that most women your age (close to 40) are already married. And if not then they are like spoiled milk anyway, apparently. 
I didn't say you are too old to be attractive. I said women your age (close to 40) have mostly already married. Whether you think you're getting hotter every year doesn't matter when many ladies have already signed the contract with someone else. This is not about you personally. If a man told you this would you be equally pissed off? If someone told me that men my age are getting into marriages and the pool of men available for long term partnership was decreasing I won't feel personally offended either, it's a fact I would have already figured out myself haha. Ask yourself why I have pushed your buttons here? Why are those buttons there? Why did I really make you so angry?

I recently recruited 2 female employees not because they are women, i did it because they are knowledgeable candidates for the job. By doing this I rejected 3 male candidates who applied for the job but with less experience and they did not do well in the interview.

Uhm ok. What's the connection of the female employees to the topic?
I choose to be by myself forever is also a decision that people should try to understand and respect. There is not one single formula for happiness.
OK OK.  It didn't sound like you had a choice in it, even the title is called "i am undateable". 

what is wrong with crying alone just to get rid of the negative emotions? Like you never cried in your entire life...
...
There is no point of replying to you since you do not or prefer not to understand how others feel, what makes you a narcissistic bitch even though you think your a Nice Girl...Generally people like me and I get along fine with all.

Nothing is wrong with crying alone. In fact my throat is feeling tight again after you called me a narcissistic bitch who thinks she is a nice girl.  ;( I will go and cry a bit alone now. Already the second time today. But I won't hold back my feelings.
 

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Sankar_82, we don't need the name calling. I believe that you can disagree without that that.
 

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Sankar_82 said:
Please do read and tell whether you are in the same boat as I am. I am thinking to quit the dating / relationship after I felt constantly rejected and friendzoned. 

Nice guys finish last!!! Yeah, it’s important to know that it’s better not to play a game when its already rigged.

Once I started owning my fate, I became more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t worry about rejection/ ignorance anymore because I’ve already been through the worst rejections. It’s helped rid me of a lot of my own insecurities because I’m more accepting of who I am. My mind is freed up to think about more important things other than why dating has never worked out for me, or why women never thought I was good enough for them. The most valuable thing I can give another person is my TIME, If they don't appreciate it then I better spend it on myself.

First off, I have to laugh. It's not because it's a funny situation or that I'm laughing at you. I'm laughing because the situation you are describing happens to many, in not millions, of guys all over the world. There have been many discussions about guys in your situation on this site. A few threads got alot of good back and forth. I even have a couple that I started. One was about Incels. Just do a search on this site for them. After I read what you wrote, I thought, yep there's another one. That's really why I laughed. I'm just waiting for someone to respond with, "Just be yourself. You need to try harder. Give it time.......blaa, blaa, blaa." They people that haven't experienced it have no understanding about what you are talking about.

The Incel movement got started because they recognized a growing trend and wanted to speak out about it. Women are more selective now because they can be. Things aren't confined to be local any more. But, it's horrible to be undateable and difficult to NOT take it personally. It can happen for many reasons but it's usually due to appearances, personality disorders, and/or not knowing how to play the dating game. It's easy to blame all women for not dating you. But, they are just doing what they think is best for them. IMO, the Incels have gone off the boat with their hating views. I find all their terms fun and use them sometimes because they are tied to the truth. But, their base message is real and backed up by numbers.

I gave up on most things about a decade ago. I came to the realization that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I found that I didn't require much money to live and do the things I wanted. It costs a lot to attract people. Not dating saves a lot of money. Then I realized I didn't need to work any more because I saved money for the future that included a wife, children, a couple nice vehicles, a nice big house, etc, etc, etc. So, I stopped doing just about everything, including working, except what I wanted to do. It's been a decade now and I have no desire to go back. Being alone is the best for some people. It does get lonely sometimes but it is sooooooo much easier. I only have to concern myself with my needs period.

If you haven't already abandoned this site take some time to search and read through the threads. There have been a lot of good discussions. IMO, in the future, many men will forgo women altogether and just have female androids. Women will follow suite and get artificially Impregnated when they want children. I would love to have a female android right now. But, we are a long ways from that being a reality.
 

Sankar_82

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Finished said:
Sankar_82 said:
Please do read and tell whether you are in the same boat as I am. I am thinking to quit the dating / relationship after I felt constantly rejected and friendzoned. 

Nice guys finish last!!! Yeah, it’s important to know that it’s better not to play a game when its already rigged.

Once I started owning my fate, I became more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t worry about rejection/ ignorance anymore because I’ve already been through the worst rejections. It’s helped rid me of a lot of my own insecurities because I’m more accepting of who I am. My mind is freed up to think about more important things other than why dating has never worked out for me, or why women never thought I was good enough for them. The most valuable thing I can give another person is my TIME, If they don't appreciate it then I better spend it on myself.

First off, I have to laugh. It's not because it's a funny situation or that I'm laughing at you. I'm laughing because the situation you are describing happens to many, in not millions, of guys all over the world. There have been many discussions about guys in your situation on this site. A few threads got alot of good back and forth. I even have a couple that I started. One was about Incels. Just do a search on this site for them. After I read what you wrote, I thought, yep there's another one. That's really why I laughed. I'm just waiting for someone to respond with, "Just be yourself. You need to try harder. Give it time.......blaa, blaa, blaa." They people that haven't experienced it have no understanding about what you are talking about.

The Incel movement got started because they recognized a growing trend and wanted to speak out about it. Women are more selective now because they can be. Things aren't confined to be local any more. But, it's horrible to be undateable and difficult to NOT take it personally. It can happen for many reasons but it's usually due to appearances, personality disorders, and/or not knowing how to play the dating game. It's easy to blame all women for not dating you. But, they are just doing what they think is best for them. IMO, the Incels have gone off the boat with their hating views. I find all their terms fun and use them sometimes because they are tied to the truth. But, their base message is real and backed up by numbers.

I gave up on most things about a decade ago. I came to the realization that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I found that I didn't require much money to live and do the things I wanted. It costs a lot to attract people. Not dating saves a lot of money. Then I realized I didn't need to work any more because I saved money for the future that included a wife, children, a couple nice vehicles, a nice big house, etc, etc, etc. So, I stopped doing just about everything, including working, except what I wanted to do. It's been a decade now and I have no desire to go back. Being alone is the best for some people. It does get lonely sometimes but it is sooooooo much easier. I only have to concern myself with my needs period.

If you haven't already abandoned this site take some time to search and read through the threads. There have been a lot of good discussions. IMO, in the future, many men will forgo women altogether and just have female androids. Women will follow suite and get artificially Impregnated when they want children. I would love to have a female android right now. But, we are a long ways from that being a reality.

Hei thank you for your comment. When I read it was like mostly same thing I have been experiencing in my life. In my case I have a good job, 
i look decent and good shape (not a fatty, no love handles), no debts (cleared my car loan in June), good savings (25% of my net salary goes into savings) whatever women think they are "Average" or "Standard" that every guy must have...like someone give it on a silver platter hehehe...mine is all I earned it, No inheritance. Anyways I have decided to live alone and I feel better. I wrote here my thoughts because once in a while I as a human with emotions do feel frustrated...I will try to overcome it soon and be happy by myself. I am gonna finish Norwegian language course by December and my next plan is to join the flying club to learn to fly small planes. Already member of photography club, honing my skills in DSLR camera with different lenses. I am being involved in many activities which interests me so i do not feel lonely...like cooking different country cuisines every week, everyday working out with personal trainer at my gym. 

Anyways man thank you for your understanding and kind words. You have a nice day dude  :cool:.
 
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Do you have a cultural and religious preference?
It looks like a lot of Norwegians have a Christian background. This could be a very important factor for you as you find a woman to date. The girl is probably wanting to have traditions and marriage roles (husband/wife roles) like she was raised with. If you are wanting to date Christian women - you should talk to a Christian minister/pastor there and find out all there is to know about Christianity and Christian marriage roles in Norway. Learn about what a wife will expect in a husband.
This will help you a lot as you find women to date. Good luck my friend! God Bless!
 
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Myra

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catch_the_music said:
Do you have a cultural and religious preference?
It looks like a lot of Norwegians have a Christian background.  This could be a very important factor for you as you find a woman to date.  The girl is probably wanting to have traditions and marriage roles (husband/wife roles) like she was raised with.  If you are wanting to date Christian women - you should talk to a Christian minister/pastor there and find out all there is to know about Christianity and Christian marriage roles in Norway.  Learn about what a wife will expect in a husband.
This will help you a lot as you find women to date.  Good luck my friend!  God Bless!
Sorry but that's total BS and you just made that up! Scandinavian countries are less religious and less conservative with gender roles and all that stuff thann the rest of Europe and than the usa. People there don't go priests to find a spouse! Haha.

Check out this wiki link, you will see that Norway ranks #5 in the world for religion being unimportant in people's lives.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Importance_of_religion_by_country
 

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I think the reason they reject you is not because you are kind and respectful. I think it's because they are not physically attracted to you. You were just not their type. I'm not trying to say you are ugly. Attraction is not only about the way you look anyway. It looks like you are very defensive and being rejected makes you very angry.
By the way, I don't understand what do you really want from women. Because you used " nice guys finish last". phrase.
 

Sankar_82

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Winter Fire said:
I think the reason they reject you is not because you are kind and respectful. I think it's because they are not physically attracted to you. You were just not their type. I'm not trying to say you are ugly. Attraction is not only about the way you look anyway. It looks like you are very defensive and being rejected makes you very angry.
By the way, I don't understand what do you really want from women. Because you used " nice guys finish last". phrase.

hey thank you for you reply. I am not being defensive and i am not angry at my situation. I was kinda frustrated and i thought of letting it out here or sharing it. I want to love and to be loved...like a companion which lead to a life partner from a woman...YES "Nice guys finish last" but according to me "Nice guys now a days don't care and live life single". 

You are contradicting when you said women reject me not because i am kind and respectful...it's because i am not physically attracted to the. yet you mentioned "I'm not trying to say you are ugly". I don't care how people look at me based on my physical appearance, for me they are low quality people and i don't have time for them. You may counter argue with me that i am bitter, angry or whatever but my reply is I decided to live single and i will never put someone on a pedestal or validate them....you can call me a coward, no problem it's your opinion.

whatever right now I made myself very busy with a lot of activities to do daily so I don't need a women's companionship in life...it is hard at starting phase but i am sure i will get over it and it will become new normal in my life. Better Bachelor for life, no problem I embrace my future  :).
 

TheRealCallie

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Attraction doesn't always have to do with being ugly or beautiful. Sometimes it has to do with your attitude or how you present yourself to the world. That doesn't necessarily mean you are bitter or angry, it just means that something you are putting out there doesn't vibe well with others. A lot of times it's more about how you present yourself. You've already decided no one wants to date you and quite honestly, that usually shows. It can show as being bitter whether you are or not. It can show as you being unapproachable. Simple fact is, regardless of how you view yourself and whatever vibe you think you are sending out, others may not view you the same way
 

Winter Fire

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Sankar_82 said:
hey thank you for you reply. I am not being defensive and i am not angry at my situation. I was kinda frustrated and i thought of letting it out here or sharing it. I want to love and to be loved...like a companion which lead to a life partner from a woman...YES "Nice guys finish last" but according to me "Nice guys now a days don't care and live life single". 

You are contradicting when you said women reject me not because i am kind and respectful...it's because i am not physically attracted to the. yet you mentioned "I'm not trying to say you are ugly". I don't care how people look at me based on my physical appearance, for me they are low quality people and i don't have time for them. You may counter argue with me that i am bitter, angry or whatever but my reply is I decided to live single and i will never put someone on a pedestal or validate them....you can call me a coward, no problem it's your opinion.

whatever right now I made myself very busy with a lot of activities to do daily so I don't need a women's companionship in life...it is hard at starting phase but i am sure i will get over it and it will become new normal in my life. Better Bachelor for life, no problem I embrace my future  :).
When I was writing about physical attraction, I was thinking about the desire to do sexual things with someone. I wasn't thinking about looks. You know you can find someone beautiful but you may not want to have sex with her. On the other hand, you may not like how someone looks that much but the way she speaks or acts would make you want to be with her.
 

TheRealCallie

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Well, I can tell you that NO ONE should be clicking on an altered link when you have no idea where it's going to take you. So yeah, that's pretty much spam. Nice try though.
 

TheSkaFish

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Give him a break, after all, he had low "self-stem". It's hard out here for plant-based lifeforms.
 
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When you read the title "I am Undateable", as a reader you may write off as some sad story complaining about how my dating life sucks. Please do read and tell whether you are in the same boat as I am. I am thinking to quit the dating / relationship after I felt constantly rejected and friendzoned.

I am a 38 yr old single man, no kids. I am an Indian guy living and working in Norway. I have lived in six countries before settling here in Norway. I am an open minded and easy going person by nature. Whenever I get rejected by women, I ask myself some questions...Why women don't like me? Whenever I ask out a girl, the reply I get is "your a nice guy but blah blah blah" the usual reply. It makes me think that women are only looking for a bad guy who treat them like shit. I hear women say they want a good man in their life and I find this contradictory.

To be frank, I do feel hurted by my situation and sometimes I cry over it. It is okay to cry, the negative emotions are being spilled out of my body so I do not feel choked in my throat. I am hopelessly romantic and very caring guy. I love loving. what is wrong in that? I have lots of love, care and affection to give to a woman but they don't want it. Women don't even bother to give me time of the day then how can I possible date one?

I tried online dating, directly approached in person...whatever means a man do to talk to a woman, all I get in return is only rejection. I have wasted my time, money, emotions and energy...now I feel drained by the constant rejections, friendzoning, ghosting and flaking behaviour from women. The most hurtful thing I experienced is when I talked to a girl she didn't even bother to reply or even look at me, as if I was invisible to her. Ignorance is a bliss!!!

Nice guys finish last!!! Yeah, it’s important to know that it’s better not to play a game when its already rigged. I'm not nice to people so they'll be nice to me, I'm nice to people because that's who I am. Isn’t all women want a nice man who loves and respect them, have both moral and physical courage, be honest, have a proper job with healthy finances, will be caring person, be a good life partner who is reliable…well I fulfill all this criteria but still the damn NO!!! I don’t get it what more a guy can do. I had to accept the fact that I am “undateable.” I am meant to be single for life, well its fine I accept it.

Once I started owning my fate, I became more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t worry about rejection/ ignorance anymore because I’ve already been through the worst rejections. It’s helped rid me of a lot of my own insecurities because I’m more accepting of who I am. My mind is freed up to think about more important things other than why dating has never worked out for me, or why women never thought I was good enough for them. The most valuable thing I can give another person is my TIME, If they don't appreciate it then I better spend it on myself.
I don't think such a thing exists.
 

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