I can't get rid off the feeling

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

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someday

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Hi guys,

about myself. I was diagnosed with Depression in 2019, I have been in therapy ever since, and currently I am on antidepressants. I am 23 years old and in my leisure-time I like going to dance classes (hip hop, Salsa&Bachata and Pole dance) even though I haven't gone to Salsa and Pole dance in a while, due to monetary issues. I am a master student and work part-time for an international tech company. I do have friends, I guess people tend to like me. Well, normally, at least. I am very ambitious and though I have low self-esteem, I seem very confident. I have siblings and family members that are more or less healthy. My upbringing was kinda traumatic at times, which has led to me having severe trust issues. I do not really trust my friends or even my family with my feelings. Anyways, even though I seem to have most things right in my life, I do not know why I feel like no one cares. I do not feel any (real) connection with anyone. I have never had a boyfriend. Apparently, I am a magnet for players that think I would only be interested in something casual or guys that wanna emotionally abuse/manipulate me. Some of the guys that are interested in me, I am mostly not interested in, both personality and looks-wise. It sucks sometimes. I wonder if that is why I am so lonely sometimes. But then again, I feel like I don't have anyone who is really in my corner. I am a very giving person, and when people do not give back in the same way, I get disappointed.

Please guys, I need advice to just let go of this. I am tired off feeling this pit in my stomach or having a heavy chest.
 

TogetherAlone

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Firstly welcome that sounds like a really crap situation to be in sorry :( As for advice I don't really know what to say, hopefully you can find a safe space here and some good advice/things to read <3
 

Sunless Sky

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That sounds really lonely. It seems like you suffer from looking like you are really healthy and fine on the outside while secretly suffering on the inside. I really hope you find what you are looking for here.

Welcome to the forum.
 

someday

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That sounds really lonely. It seems like you suffer from looking like you are really healthy and fine on the outside while secretly suffering on the inside. I really hope you find what you are looking for here.

Welcome to the forum.
Yes, I am a person with a mask on. I pretend that I am fine and even if I open up, I don't really feel heard. I feel like it's always only me.
 

Sunless Sky

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Yes, I am a person with a mask on. I pretend that I am fine and even if I open up, I don't really feel heard. I feel like it's always only me.
I know how you feel, I am exactly the same in that regard. I don't have a tried and true piece of advice that will fix everything but I suggest you confide in whomever you think you can trust.

It can be a huge weight off your shoulders. You do t have to suffer alone.
 

Sir Joseph

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Someday, you've expressed so many problems that it overwhelms any simple answer, as evidenced by the responses. Allow me to offer a more specific secular and Christian perspective.
Considering the thousands of people we interact with over a life time, the number of people actually knowing and caring about us is few in number. And if one doesn't have a loving family, close friends, or a genuine church family to relate to, loneliness is a common result. There's no easy fix, but there are helpful ways to improve the situation.

First, I'd encourage you to be assertive with every relationship opportunity that arises. Consider each new contact as a prospective friend that you need and want. Don't let a brief encounter or short conversation with someone be wasted if there's a chance to swap phone numbers, emails, or offerings to meet again for any reason.

Second, nurture every family, friend, classmate, coworker, or church relationship that you do have into a closer one. It takes time and effort to turn an acquaintance into a friend. Some will reciprocate while most don't, but the reward for a few makes it worthwhile.

Third, focus on being a giver rather than a taker. In other words, make it your goal to reach out to others each day with a smile, a greeting, a call, email, or act of kindness. Look for opportunities to humbly serve or please others with no expectation of receiving anything back. In this way, you'll not only please God and others, but you'll gain satisfaction with yourself, knowing that your life is serving a loving purpose to the world.

Finally, recognize that people are always going to let you down. We should certainly build all of the loving relationships possible, but few of us will ever be satisfied. If we depend upon other flawed humans to build up our self worth or to fill our insatiable hearts, we're likely to be disappointed. There's only one being powerful enough to do that, which is why people turn to God. Our sense of value and self worth has already been established by him, and his unconditional love for us has been proven by Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. It just doesn't get any bigger or better than that. If you're not embracing the ultimate relationship with your Creator and Savior, then you might want to pray and ponder on that deficiency in your life. You'd be surprised how it affects all of the issues that you're struggling with now.
 
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