I feel like love is just a game

[Cherubino]

maybe it's nothing wrong with gaming as long as you love the players more than the game

 

[Sci-Fi]

I've given up on finding love. The last person I cared about seemed more concerned about the fact that I had debt (not anymore paid it all off) but her debt was a non-issue, and she didn't want to have anymore kids (she already had 3). But she didn't care that I might want a kid of my own, and there was no way in hell I was going to help her pay off her debt or put me further into debt. It just hit me hard when she found out I had debt and she was all like what are we going to do. I told her that was my worry just like her debt was her's to worry about with her and her ex, it had nothing to do with me. After that I was like screw this bullshit I'm done, done, done, done.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

People go about love backwards, which is a large part of the problem.
Let me explain:

Your perception, plays a large part of your narrative. If you never evolve your perception, than you never evolve your narrative, it stays stagnant, and that's no good, it gets you nowhere in life.

MOST people, hate themselves. In part for a lack of self understanding.
AND a large majority of people have figured that out, and through either misguidance, error in judgment, or genuine malicious intent, have learned how to use that to their advantage through the careful and meticulous emotional manipulation of other people.

It's a coping mechanism, just a negative one, similarly to drug and alcohol abuse.

Now, the thing about Perception changing and evolving with Love is:
Once you learn to Love yourself, genuinely Love yourself, as opposed to egotistical narcissism, but to care about yourself enough to know what you know, to know yourself wholly, and to be confident in what you know and confident enough to admit to what you don't know or might be wrong or misinformed in, that really should be the first stepping stone on the path to a relationship: Love yourself first.

Because until people learn to know themselves wholly, to love and care about themselves, and to treat themselves with self respect, they cannot and will not, escape the negative cyclical nature of either being manipulated, or being a manipulative person. Just like with an alcoholic, an alcoholic does not escape the bottle until they have resolved their issues outside of the bottle without the bottle. And I can say that, because I'm a recovered alcoholic.

How can you truly say that you know and love another individual, when you do not even know and love yourself? The result is the assumption of your natural or unevolved perception.

You see, the mind, is a bit like a muscle.
Stress is similar to a flex or an exercise, as most people don't work well under pressure, and learning to do so is a developmental skillset.
Developmental Critical Thinking Skills and Cognition are what allow us to learn, you actually have to make an active effort into it, which most people typically do not do.
And as you play with this over a long enough time, you begin to evolve your perception and strengthen your inner self.

When you stop hating yourself, and you take the time to really learn more about your inner self, and learn to love and accept yourself, that will completely spin your Perception About Love in 180 degrees. The way that you understand it thereafter will be totally different than how you understand it formerly.

Life is a Learning Experience, that is what it is.
And on a comical note it's also a little like a First Person Shooter video game:
I respawn every morning, that's what waking up is to me.

 

[Finished]

very true,yes all the good ones are already taken

I'm good and I'm not taken.

 

[user 188685]

I'm good and I'm not taken.

yes you are

 

[Anarchic Torchic]

Thats the risk you take, like every single time you set yourself up to be hurt, and all you can do is trust that they wont hurt you. Unfortunately very often someone will get hurt.

I did have like a super soft breakup once though, like we talked about everything and decided that its best to separate with mutual understanding for each other. But yeah i dont think that happens very often.

 

[user 188685]

Thats the risk you take, like every single time you set yourself up to be hurt, and all you can do is trust that they wont hurt you. Unfortunately very often someone will get hurt.

I did have like a super soft breakup once though, like we talked about everything and decided that its best to separate with mutual understanding for each other. But yeah i dont think that happens very often.

very true

 

[Bam111]

I feel like love is just a game,no guy has ever loved me,I mean really loved me,all I got told was lies,and all I knew was cheating,games and lies,all anyone wants to be is loved and cared about,why must I get this kind of treatment by all the guys that I have ever been with?Love is not worth it,if all you are going to do is be lied to and cheated on.

If I may, love is many different things there's never truly one particular type of love, there is love in family, love in friendship, love even can exist in a purely physical, mental, emotional psychological aspect, there is unconditional love the kind that we find in ourselves from healing from many years of different types of situations and learning to truly love ourselves for all are imperfections. When a man says he loves you does he truly know you? have you allowed him to see you for everything you are? you may guard yourself everyone is guarded in one way or another, but I feel that to truly love someone you must truly know and accept them for who they are flaws and all. How can someone do this you may ask? A great partner must learn to first be a very good friend, in most of my experience the women I dated or was attracted to the chemistry was mostly physical attraction this is the first thing that a person sees because you cannot see a person's personality first, (of course unless you have no contact with them for your first encounter then you can be able to get a feel for their personality.) But to be able to have a strong foundation of friendship with a man in your case and a girl in my case you can start to build more depth trust, humor, conversation, joy, but also you will know time of pain, sorrow, doubt but by exploring all these feelings through friendship you will start to see in that person the dedication and the attentiveness to consider your feelings. There will be obstacles to this because everyone wants a physical relationship but if you can build the foundation, state your intentions to one another say " hey I really like you, but I don't want to ruin things by rushing into something just yet" if they truly desire you, it is worth the wait because even if it doesn't work out in the end and you were great friends with the man you will not lose that friendship because you will have had many trails and that man has stayed with you and showed he truthfully cares about you all of you not for just the physical connection you share.

 

[Bam111]

I should have said sorry its a long post

 

[user 188685]

I should have said sorry its a long post

it's ok,very true,and good point.

 

[Claudia1794]

For me romantic relationships are a game especially when dealing with seedy characters. You have to make sure you are playing by the same rules. Being that no relationship is the same then the rules are gonna vary. I used to get hung up on the idea of love until I realized that love like everything else in life is constantly changing or maybe it’s phasing. I don’t really know I’ve just learned to follow my feelings. If someone made me happy I reciprocated that along with every other feeling I experience with another person. I give what I get. Now I’ve been single for 10 years but that has been by choice. Once my son is out of the house and doing his own thing I would like to get back in the game. The good thing about being 43 is I feel like now things will be less complicated because no one is going to expect me to marry them and have their children.

 

[Bam111]

it's ok,very true,and good point.

yea again it's just my opinion but for the most part every relationship I have ever had was usually a physical attraction and a connection I felt I had with the people I shared it with. For me it was finding something I felt I could relate to with them mostly I was a broken person at the time who found someone who was also broken I shared that connection with them though are pasts were at times a bit different we were both broken and wished to be whole. Needless to say, it didn't turn out good for me my first women I ever was with sexually and the love of my life I stayed together with for five years. But there was a lot of pain in that relationship I fought to make it last, we were on different paths at that time in are life's she had no attachments to family, and I was working two jobs paying for are place while trying to help my father get custody back of my brothers. She wanted us to move and go to another city and start over because at the time she couldn't find a job where we lived (or at least that's what she said.) So, she went to go visit her brother one day while I was at work, she called me and told me she had left to go visit him I told her that's fine, but days turn into weeks, and weeks into months we kept in contact it was semi constant not every day but every other day or so she would tell me how she was doing, and she said she found a job. I was happy for her and soon after finding a job she asked me to move over there with her to her brother I still was helping my father with gaining custody of my brothers so I told her I couldn't at the time. The phone conversations went dry after that, but I continued to try and contact her to no avail a couple of months passed I waited for her faithfully that week I got a phone call from the mother telling me that my girlfriend tried to commit a couple of weeks prior and that she was coming back home to her house. Well true enough she did come back, and she came to my house with another man who she said she was engaged to and that they were getting married soon. It hurt me inside, but I told her I understood why and wish her good luck after 5 months of her leaving she found another person well that marriage never happened. I wish I could say that was the end of that relationship, but it wasn't.

 

[Bam111]

though some time had passed, and we had gone are separate ways are families were friends at the time, so we saw each other again the next time I was going to school, and I was called out of nowhere by her mother telling me that her daughter had went to a club to drink with other people and that her buddies went their separate ways, that night she was she was chatting with some men and they slipped her a mickey and took her out to the highway and tried to take advantage over her thankfully that didn't play out all the way because a cop on duty at the time saw that the car had a flat tire and actually decided to investigate. the next day she was in a rehabilitation facility because I guess they found her with other drugs other than alcohol at the time was not legalized (weed) I didn't get all the details but all I knew was that she was in that center and she refused to see anyone but me the staff wouldn't allow people who were not related to her in, so she told them I was her husband. that day I took time off from school to visit her we reconnected and when out again. The first few months were good but after a while again we ran into problems, she started to cheat on me with other people which didn't help my already broken self-esteem, so we split up again. that's not the whole story but yea I don't want or mean for this to drag on for a long time.

 

[user 188685]

though some time had passed, and we had gone are separate ways are families were friends at the time, so we saw each other again the next time I was going to school, and I was called out of nowhere by her mother telling me that her daughter had went to a club to drink with other people and that her buddies went their separate ways, that night she was she was chatting with some men and they slipped her a mickey and took her out to the highway and tried to take advantage over her thankfully that didn't play out all the way because a cop on duty at the time saw that the car had a flat tire and actually decided to investigate. the next day she was in a rehabilitation facility because I guess they found her with other drugs other than alcohol at the time was not legalized (weed) I didn't get all the details but all I knew was that she was in that center and she refused to see anyone but me the staff wouldn't allow people who were not related to her in, so she told them I was her husband. that day I took time off from school to visit her we reconnected and when out again. The first few months were good but after a while again we ran into problems, she started to cheat on me with other people which didn't help my already broken self-esteem, so we split up again. that's not the whole story but yea I don't want or mean for this to drag on for a long time.

It's ok,I'm so sorry that you went through this,that's terrible.

 

[Bam111]

it gets worse but thank you for commenting (long story short) sometime after being bisexual for a long time she turned lesbian, and she said I was the reason some time after that she and her partner approach me and ask me if I would be willing to impregnate her so they could have a family it really messed with my self-esteem and psyche and my heart I loved her for 5-6 years and never gave up on her after that though are story went cold but we started off not friends so see there is some importance to that if a relationship could last 5 years without friendship at its base maybe there could have bin a longer connection how knows not to say that it would but it gives a relationship more depth.

 

[user 188685]

it gets worse but thank you for commenting (long story short) sometime after being bisexual for a long time she turned lesbian, and she said I was the reason some time after that she and her partner approach me and ask me if I would be willing to impregnate her so they could have a family it really messed with my self-esteem and psyche and my heart I loved her for 5-6 years and never gave up on her after that though are story went cold but we started off not friends so see there is some importance to that if a relationship could last 5 years without friendship at its base maybe there could have bin a longer connection how knows not to say that it would but it gives a relationship more depth.

very true

 

[Bones 2.0]

Love Is a Game of Chicken for Me - I lost. Lol

 

[Bam111]

Love Is a Game of Chicken for Me - I lost. Lol

It's not over yet your still here Bones don't worry there will be plenty of opportunity if you're not looking that's cool 2 self-love is also love and its very import as well

 

[user 188522]

People go about love backwards, which is a large part of the problem.
Let me explain:

Your perception, plays a large part of your narrative. If you never evolve your perception, than you never evolve your narrative, it stays stagnant, and that's no good, it gets you nowhere in life.

MOST people, hate themselves. In part for a lack of self understanding.
AND a large majority of people have figured that out, and through either misguidance, error in judgment, or genuine malicious intent, have learned how to use that to their advantage through the careful and meticulous emotional manipulation of other people.

It's a coping mechanism, just a negative one, similarly to drug and alcohol abuse.

Now, the thing about Perception changing and evolving with Love is:
Once you learn to Love yourself, genuinely Love yourself, as opposed to egotistical narcissism, but to care about yourself enough to know what you know, to know yourself wholly, and to be confident in what you know and confident enough to admit to what you don't know or might be wrong or misinformed in, that really should be the first stepping stone on the path to a relationship: Love yourself first.

Because until people learn to know themselves wholly, to love and care about themselves, and to treat themselves with self respect, they cannot and will not, escape the negative cyclical nature of either being manipulated, or being a manipulative person. Just like with an alcoholic, an alcoholic does not escape the bottle until they have resolved their issues outside of the bottle without the bottle. And I can say that, because I'm a recovered alcoholic.

How can you truly say that you know and love another individual, when you do not even know and love yourself? The result is the assumption of your natural or unevolved perception.

You see, the mind, is a bit like a muscle.
Stress is similar to a flex or an exercise, as most people don't work well under pressure, and learning to do so is a developmental skillset.
Developmental Critical Thinking Skills and Cognition are what allow us to learn, you actually have to make an active effort into it, which most people typically do not do.
And as you play with this over a long enough time, you begin to evolve your perception and strengthen your inner self.

When you stop hating yourself, and you take the time to really learn more about your inner self, and learn to love and accept yourself, that will completely spin your Perception About Love in 180 degrees. The way that you understand it thereafter will be totally different than how you understand it formerly.

Life is a Learning Experience, that is what it is.
And on a comical note it's also a little like a First Person Shooter video game:
I respawn every morning, that's what waking up is to me.

Well

People go about love backwards, which is a large part of the problem.
Let me explain:

Your perception, plays a large part of your narrative. If you never evolve your perception, than you never evolve your narrative, it stays stagnant, and that's no good, it gets you nowhere in life.

MOST people, hate themselves. In part for a lack of self understanding.
AND a large majority of people have figured that out, and through either misguidance, error in judgment, or genuine malicious intent, have learned how to use that to their advantage through the careful and meticulous emotional manipulation of other people.

It's a coping mechanism, just a negative one, similarly to drug and alcohol abuse.

Now, the thing about Perception changing and evolving with Love is:
Once you learn to Love yourself, genuinely Love yourself, as opposed to egotistical narcissism, but to care about yourself enough to know what you know, to know yourself wholly, and to be confident in what you know and confident enough to admit to what you don't know or might be wrong or misinformed in, that really should be the first stepping stone on the path to a relationship: Love yourself first.

Because until people learn to know themselves wholly, to love and care about themselves, and to treat themselves with self respect, they cannot and will not, escape the negative cyclical nature of either being manipulated, or being a manipulative person. Just like with an alcoholic, an alcoholic does not escape the bottle until they have resolved their issues outside of the bottle without the bottle. And I can say that, because I'm a recovered alcoholic.

How can you truly say that you know and love another individual, when you do not even know and love yourself? The result is the assumption of your natural or unevolved perception.

You see, the mind, is a bit like a muscle.
Stress is similar to a flex or an exercise, as most people don't work well under pressure, and learning to do so is a developmental skillset.
Developmental Critical Thinking Skills and Cognition are what allow us to learn, you actually have to make an active effort into it, which most people typically do not do.
And as you play with this over a long enough time, you begin to evolve your perception and strengthen your inner self.

When you stop hating yourself, and you take the time to really learn more about your inner self, and learn to love and accept yourself, that will completely spin your Perception About Love in 180 degrees. The way that you understand it thereafter will be totally different than how you understand it formerly.

Life is a Learning Experience, that is what it is.
And on a comical note it's also a little like a First Person Shooter video game:
I respawn every morning, that's what waking up is to me.

Well said!

 

[Bones 2.0]

It's not over yet your still here Bones don't worry there will be plenty of opportunity if you're not looking that's cool 2 self-love is also love and its very import as well

Thanks, I appreciate it

What is sad when you realize you have, on average, 25 years of life left and relationships where weren't your thing. This is why paradise for me is living an underground bunker with all my needs met all alone without any drama.

After 2015, 2021, & 2022 relationships went south, am just done.

eHarmony did work, but everyone was 2 to 4 hours away - except Candian Woman - and didn't work out in the end for one reason or another. The crazy 50 year old hot chick living Canada from the Philippines will always be memorable. We parted ways after she saw how much I love my daughter and would appropriately - though maybe borderline appropriately - help her.