I have no enjoyment

[Eternitydreamer]

I thought I’d re-try colouring books again as an interest. I posted my photo and got two likes and others get more and sometimes even dozens of “wows!” “Amazing!” Etc. I decided to continue and see I could never measure up to what these people can do... the recognition they get is jaw dropping. I left a group and consider leaving them all again. Meanwhile I have gotten myself into financial troubles with buying books and markers. No one comments on my work.
I only use markers as I can’t understand pencils much, I find them painful to use and stressful to understand the complicated blending techniques. I feel like even if I do those things and made beautiful art and got those comments, it would be shallow. I can’t even figure out markers properly. I don’t even see the point of colouring for it to be in a closed book. I shared my colour by number pics with my mum and she likes the results but it’s not my “own” colouring it’s set for me. I’ve never been good at art but I have tried. I never get the response I want and never find it gives me happiness. I tried drawing but I can’t do that either. Years and years of pain I tried to seek recognition through my art on the internet. I could never get to thr level others could or did people like my work.
I am unable to be creative. I can’t focus on books or enjoy them.

I have little to no interest in movies or tv. I don’t listen to music anymore. I can’t find interest in games they are too violent for me or expensive. I had one game I enjoyed so much but the game malfunctioned and when it got working again I lost my acheivements and something inside of me “died” I can’t explain it..… my love for the game died. I couldn’t play it again.

all day I spend in bed plucking body hairs and scrolling the internet, this can’t be life

 

[user 148069]

when it comes to creative hobbies, ideally you should do it because you enjoy it and it keeps you centered. There's nothing wrong wanting a bit of validation for your work but i think the major problem is when you do something solely for likes and recognition. Art also requires lots of practice so if the blending techniques is too hard at first, you may need to look for some tutorials on youtube for some help. I found one here
I've done some art in the past and I find controlling the amount of pressure helps with shading. If you apply more pressure on the pencil, you can get darker tones and less pressure for lighter tones. If you have trouble with picking colors, maybe a color wheel can help you.

All these aside, I do understand not being able to be creative and being unable to focus on anything. Depression just takes away so much.

As for the games, I'm sorry to hear about that. You can try other games maybe? Wait for a sale in Steam then get them perhaps.
Eastshade is a really nice game with no violence or maybe something like Stardew Valley?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I think many of us do this; but, ultimately, we should not measure ourselves against others. If I'm not mistaken, a lot of the greats will tell you this as well.

Don't envy the wealthy, and don't compare yourself with others.

There will always be some one above and beyond, and there will always be a poor soul below and behind. Some times we are the poor soul, some times we are the lucky one; but, relatively speaking, we are both, at different times, and different moments.

The sprinter who comes in last place at the olympics was the worst of all the competition to show up; but, among the best of their nation.

As for anhedonia, dysphoria, losing interest in things... There may be solutions and there may not be, depending on circumstances.

Perhaps, it is okay to despair; but, perhaps also, one should take into consideration, not to despair completely...

Anyway, hope you feel better soon. Not fun feelings...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you have the exact same (with no more and no less) "friends" as the other person? If not, you can't look at that information. She could have friends that are more active and use the like button overly much. She could be one of those people that gets "likes" and "wows" simply because she posted, not because what she did was amazing.
People often use social media as a popularity content. It's not. There's a reason a lot of people call FB "Fakebook." If you need recognition, join a club, don't use social media.

As for not finding enjoyment, keep trying. There are millions of things to do out there, find some that work for you. What about crafts or gardening? Helping others can give you a sense of purpose, which could lead to you enjoying yourself. Get out of bed and find something. And have some faith in yourself, there's something out there for you and people who will be very supportive of you and what you do. You just need to find them.

 

[user 136944]

I do empathise with you on this matter.... but the previous replies are absolutely bang on the money, don't compare yourself with others that do a similar hobby, you should really be doing it purely for you and your enjoyment, if a compliment comes along in due course... great, if it doesn't.. no worries, you just enjoy what your doing.
I play the guitar, (maybe 'play' is a bit of an exagerration... Lol) but the guitar world is notorious for this sort of thing, so I totally get where your coming from, but honestly nothing matters other than your enjoyment and contantment from your hobby.... and I'm sure your absolutely great at it....

 

[Eternitydreamer]

To be honest I only see the point of sharing or doing art if others approve

 

[user 139760]

I somewhat relate to this, though not quite in the same way, it's difficult to explain.
I would encourage you to try different outlets to express yourself beyond the recognition of others. I've found in the past that self-validation goes a long way towards giving you a positive attitude and, by osmosis, validation of others comes with it. I believe the two to be linked in a way I don't really feel like going into.
Enjoyment of activities or hobbies is another matter however. I've struggled with that, still do. Very few things bring me any amount of pleasure, feels more like a chore. Ironically, as much as I sometimes struggle being around other people for too much of a lenght of time, I get my enjoyment out of being around other people. Learning about their lives, asking questions about their hopes, dreams and experiences. Which, in this day and age, is something harder to do. Everyone is busy looking at cat videos on the internet...
I used to read a lot, exercise several hours a day, play games, go out for walks around the city, try out different restaurants, bars, different activities with my kids. As they've grown older and got their own lives besides their father, opportunities to do that are fewer. I don't have much time to read or go to the gym several hours anymore, nor the energy. The rest somehow just seems like ways to kill time before I die. I feel like I lost passion, somehow. I've yet to learn how to get that feeling back.

I do find comfort and laughter again being with family and friends, but time is lacking. Guess I'm more a people person than I thought. Ironically last weekend, I had one thought I hadn't had on a long time, more like a feeling. I was remembering my last girlfriend and a meet we had had years ago, after we hadn't seen each other in a week when she was at her family's in Quebec city. "I missed you". Been so long since I heard those words, I didn't realize how much I actually miss hearing that. Been a long time since I've heard that. Then I had to work lol. But yes, I have trouble still finding enjoyment in things. Like any storm, I suppose it'll pass soom enough.

 

[Sci-Fi]

To be honest I only see the point of sharing or doing art if others approve

You are doing it for the wrong reasons. Art should be for your own enjoyment regardless of anyone's approval, you don't need their approval if it is something you enjoy doing. Especially in today's world where there are a plethora of online trolls who live to criticise and tear people down.