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Astros2018

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After 30 years in another state, I left after years of horrible, horrible treatment. I moved back to my home town to look after my elderly parents. In the meantime, my cousin stole all my money (the FBI is after him but good luck in getting my money back), and with no friends, I became severely depressed. My parents were cruel to me, as were the rest of my siblings. My mom has died, my father has moved to another city to be with his favorite child, and I am left alone in this horrible town with no money to move. I can’t find a decent job to save enough to move. My father is quite wealthy but won’t help. If i didn’t have pets, all elderly, I would kill myself now. I am thinking about doing so anyway, and just taking my pets with me. I have done so many good and kind things for people, but you’d never know it. I think I am cursed.
 
Firstly, welcome, and you now have people who will listen to you and perhaps able to offer you words and/or actions that may help. Secondly, I know what you mean by cursed. I have, still do to some extent, felt cursed. It's like "Hey Karma! Did you **** well forget about me over here? Remember all that great stuff I did for so many other people?? Is it my turn yet? HELLOOOOO?!"

Your situation isn't easy. No doubt about it. But you know what? You have a RIGHT to your life. How dare anything in this universe make you feel that you should give it up. To Hell with that idea I say and have said many a time.

I see you joined some time ago and only now have put words to the screen, so that's a good first step. Well, probably a second step because your first was probably just reading what others had to say. But anyway, you've raised your hand and our awareness, so let's see how we can put something positive into your world.
 
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Awh noo this is awful, firstly so sorry for your loss. I think you are brave to share this here and I hope you are able to keep safe, safe from those thoughts.

Your situation sounds tough, being cut off from money is very cold especially after you have been stolen from.

I’d love to hear more about your pets, you sound like you care for them selflessly. How many do you have and what are their names? ✨
 
After 30 years in another state, I left after years of horrible, horrible treatment. I moved back to my home town to look after my elderly parents. In the meantime, my cousin stole all my money (the FBI is after him but good luck in getting my money back), and with no friends, I became severely depressed. My parents were cruel to me, as were the rest of my siblings. My mom has died, my father has moved to another city to be with his favorite child, and I am left alone in this horrible town with no money to move. I can’t find a decent job to save enough to move. My father is quite wealthy but won’t help. If i didn’t have pets, all elderly, I would kill myself now. I am thinking about doing so anyway, and just taking my pets with me. I have done so many good and kind things for people, but you’d never know it. I think I am cursed.
Hey there! Checking in with you and seeing how you’re doing. Drop me a line and let me know.
 
:(

If you're lucky to own a garden, gardening can always help a bit. If you don't have anything to do it's a better way to spend time than watching youtube (or Netflix) like I currently do
 
If i didn’t have pets, all elderly, I would kill myself now.
I can swear -- the reason why I finally choose to "remain a bit longer" is bc one of my cats is old, blind, and recently with damaged olfaction (thus, could be hard in feeding sometimes), and I'm pretty sure that if I kill myself, no one will give to her the needed care. I took her as a small kitten, and I feel too bad to just leave her when she is in hardship.

Keep going, pal. Keep going, my best wishes fly to you.

------
People pretending blind when you give to them, and behaving like s****, when they have to give to you, is one of the most devastating things in the world.

You are not cursed, no. You are simply given the chance to see properly, instead to just riding the merry-go-round. When I manage to properly think my situation/condition and these of people emotionally struggling, I always arrive at the conclusion that it is given to us as a kind of blessing. To be pushed to think deeper is a blessing. To be pushed to want to understand, is a blessing. I'm in the worst hole in my life now, and, honestly, I prefer that to the option of having "a proper life" which to walk down asleep.
 
After 30 years in another state, I left after years of horrible, horrible treatment. I moved back to my home town to look after my elderly parents. In the meantime, my cousin stole all my money (the FBI is after him but good luck in getting my money back), and with no friends, I became severely depressed. My parents were cruel to me, as were the rest of my siblings. My mom has died, my father has moved to another city to be with his favorite child, and I am left alone in this horrible town with no money to move. I can’t find a decent job to save enough to move. My father is quite wealthy but won’t help. If i didn’t have pets, all elderly, I would kill myself now. I am thinking about doing so anyway, and just taking my pets with me. I have done so many good and kind things for people, but you’d never know it. I think I am cursed.

Some people should never have had children, my own parents included. I wish I had never been born many times in life.
 

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