I like tall men

[Zak]

Can anyone please tell me what exactly is the issue here? Is it that there is a thread here called 'I like tall men'?

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Someone else can explain it. I can't be bothered, frankly.

 

[Zak]

ok

 

[TheRealCallie]

 

[user 115627]

The issue is that I believe that OP was just making a fun thread. But she was inspired by someone else to do so. Their motivation was also "fun" but more in "pour some gasoline on this dumpster fire" kinda fun. They knew the consequences because they knew the honeysuckle that was talked about the forum lately and wanted to push buttons. OP didn't know.

PS: I'd really like it if the people that were intended to be baited to respond here would be clever enough to let it go now because I think they can be better than that. And I'd also like the people that are running interference for the obvious bait to stop doing that. Don't push someone's buttons (while knowing exactly which ones they have) and then act surprised when they start pushing back.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Regardless of the "issue," everything in life is what you make it. If you want to see the downside in EVERYTHING, you will. If you look beyond that honeysuckle, maybe you'll find you can have some fun with some things.

I like tall men. They're awesome and I can wear my heels with them without them getting all bent out of shape about me being taller than them. Does that mean I ONLY like tall men? No, and as I've stated before, most of the guys I've dated have been shorter than me. Big **** deal, you aren't as tall as you want to be. I'm not as tall as I want to be. Get over it, not everyone cares. End of story.

 

[user 115627]

I'd take the sincerity of the message more seriously if I didn't know the inspiration for the thread was to bait to begin with, even if it got a positive spin the process.

Too little, too late maybe. This just reminds me too much of "It's just a prank, bro" now. Good luck to everyone who sticks around.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I've been trying to figure out dating/relationships/attraction for some years now, cause heaven knows I'm beyond sick and tired of feeling like I'm blindfolded and running into walls, or feeling like these things are a gated community that I'm shut out of, reserved for people who are just inherently "better" than me.

But I have to say that ALL of my observations and findings point to height not being an issue. Not just for me but for others as well.
I strongly believe if you are interesting enough and are just hygienic/clean (fitness helps but even that is an extra) I think you'll at least be a contender, you'll at least be in the game.

"Interesting enough" is the hard part, because that takes conscious thought if you don't just so happen to be the right kind of person who arrived at the right worldview/life philosophy/thinking style, who responds to things in the right way, and that's a whole other can of worms outside the scope of this thread. That's what I'm struggling with.

But outside of extreme cases and/or meeting some nasty, shallow people who would judge you for it, I really don't think height is that big of a deal.

---

The issue is that I believe that OP was just making a fun thread. But she was inspired by someone else to do so. Their motivation was also "fun" but more in "pour some gasoline on this dumpster fire" kinda fun. They knew the consequences because they knew the honeysuckle that was talked about the forum lately and wanted to push buttons. OP didn't know.

PS: I'd really like it if the people that were intended to be baited to respond here would be clever enough to let it go now because I think they can be better than that. And I'd also like the people that are running interference for the obvious bait to stop doing that. Don't push someone's buttons (while knowing exactly which ones they have) and then act surprised when they start pushing back.

+1 for a very reasonable answer, and for addressing and articulating things clearly that have been more or less going on for years.

One major issue I have with this forum, and why I almost said "that's it, fresia this honeysuckle, I'm done" once and for all, is the blatantly obvious button-pushing that, like I said, has been going on sporadically since before I even got here 7 years ago now as of this post.

One person will know what another person's buttons are - often their actual struggles and insecurities, or just things they'd find highly offensive - then push those buttons. Then this other person, who was probably in a low place to begin with, reacts, as anyone would to being picked on, only to be treated like they are the bad guy, they're the problem person - while the button-pusher gets away with it, shamelessly and out in the open, even though it's obvious to anyone who wasn't born yesterday that they're the one who instigated the issue, and there would have been no issue if they hadn't. No one is naive enough not to see this. I've seen this play out multiple times, with myself and others. This is supposed to be a support space, where you can talk about things that maybe you couldn't on Facebook or in real life, but intentionally riling others up is anything but creating a supportive environment. In fact in can make a person feel worse than if they didn't come here to begin with. And if that's the case, then what is this place? And why even come here at all?

For what it's worth I don't even think this thread is that extreme of an example, it's on the tamer side as these things go, and I'm not calling out any one specific person - certainly no one that's been active lately. But it seemed relevant and I'm just saying how I feel.

---

Also, I'd list them all but I've generally agreed with Amy's posts in this thread so +1 for you too.

 

[TheRealCallie]

"Interesting enough" is the hard part, because that takes conscious thought if you don't just so happen to be the right kind of person who arrived at the right worldview/life philosophy/thinking style, who responds to things in the right way, and that's a whole other can of worms outside the scope of this thread. That's what I'm struggling with.

Yeah, see, there's the issue. I don't think it's that you aren't interesting enough. Nerds get dates all the time, it's more a matter of knowing how to talk to people and realizing that women are no different than anyone else. We all just wanted to be treated well and listened to and have someone who isn't negative all the time or send out that vibe. Just talk to people, be comfortable in the social setting and be comfortable with YOURSELF.

One major issue I have with this forum, and why I almost said "that's it, fresia this honeysuckle, I'm done" once and for all, is the blatantly obvious button-pushing that, like I said, has been going on sporadically since before I even got here 7 years ago now as of this post.

One person will know what another person's buttons are - often their actual struggles and insecurities, or just things they'd find highly offensive - then push those buttons. Then this other person, who was probably in a low place to begin with, reacts, as anyone would to being picked on, only to be treated like they are the bad guy, they're the problem person - while the button-pusher gets away with it, shamelessly and out in the open, even though it's obvious to anyone who wasn't born yesterday that they're the one who instigated the issue, and there would have been no issue if they hadn't. No one is naive enough not to see this. I've seen this play out multiple times, with myself and others. This is supposed to be a support space, where you can talk about things that maybe you couldn't on Facebook or in real life, but intentionally riling others up is anything but creating a supportive environment. In fact in can make a person feel worse than if they didn't come here to begin with. And if that's the case, then what is this place? And why even come here at all?

For what it's worth I don't even think this thread is that extreme of an example, it's on the tamer side as these things go, and I'm not calling out any one specific person - certainly no one that's been active lately. But it seemed relevant and I'm just saying how I feel.

You have that anywhere, whether it's online or real life. It's entirely about how you respond to it. A negative person is going to make it all about them. People bait me here all the time, yet no one seems to give a honeysuckle about that. It's all about the men who whine about the same things over and over again. It is what it is. Learn to deal with it, ignore or become an Amish hermit so you don't have to.

 

[Zak]

I was typing a reply and ask something about keeping the bait part aside and all, and typed out a fairly long post which I usually don't and my ******* stupid phone refreshed the page cos my fingers touched somewhere. All gone. I am pissed. I don't even remember my password to login using a pc. So I'd just say fresia it. This maybe a sign that I should not interfere or involve in intelligent discussions. Meh!

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yeah, see, there's the issue. I don't think it's that you aren't interesting enough. Nerds get dates all the time, it's more a matter of knowing how to talk to people and realizing that women are no different than anyone else. We all just wanted to be treated well and listened to and have someone who isn't negative all the time or send out that vibe. Just talk to people, be comfortable in the social setting and be comfortable with YOURSELF.

I think I see what you are trying to say. And I kindasorta think there is some overlap between what you are saying and what I said. But I didn't want to make it about me. I just added my thoughts on that to the thread to help the guys who were worried about their height, to not worry as much.

---

You have that anywhere, whether it's online or real life. It's entirely about how you respond to it. A negative person is going to make it all about them. People bait me here all the time, yet no one seems to give a honeysuckle about that. It's all about the men who whine about the same things over and over again. It is what it is. Learn to deal with it, ignore or become an Amish hermit so you don't have to.

Simple example:

Say I walk down the street and flip a complete stranger the finger - someone I have no past history with, no context, nothing. I did it just to antagonize them, because that's what I think is cool, that's the kind of person I've decided to be. And, having just been flipped off, they run up to me and punch me in the face.

I'd say that they aren't the bad guy for punching me. I'm the bad guy for flipping them off. That's what created the situation where there wasn't one, and wasn't going to be one if I hadn't antagonized them for my own amusement or feelings of superiority to the other person. Therefore, I can't cry foul for getting punched.

It's like back in school where one person bullies another, then the victim retaliates, but the bully pivots and acts like they're the real victim. It never made any sense then, and it doesn't today. You can ignore someone trying to screw with you, but that can make you seem weak in the eyes of the person doing it, and invite more antagonism from them and even from others cause people think you're not going to do anything about it. And you could also internalize this image of you as weak, a loser, etc. also.

In my life experience, "ignore it and it will go away", "turn the other cheek", etc. has never worked. It just makes you seem like a soft target. And it makes the person being picked on just bottle up their anger to take it out on someone else later.

On another note I guess it never occurred to me that you do get baited as well. Maybe I figured that it doesn't bother you as much because it doesn't seem like it but it very well could. I guess I never stopped to consider it, that's my fault there.

Anyway. I wasn't even calling you or OP out about this issue. Just talking in a general sense.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think I see what you are trying to say. And I kindasorta think there is some overlap between what you are saying and what I said. But I didn't want to make it about me. I just added my thoughts on that to the thread to help the guys who were worried about their height, to not worry as much.

Yeah, there is some overlap. I've often seen you put yourself down for having "stupid" hobbies. They aren't stupid, they are what you enjoy and there's nothing wrong with that. But, when you call them "stupid" or whatever you've said so much, you start believing it yourself, so it makes you not comfortable with yourself or what you enjoy and that can pose a big problem when it comes to finding a romantic relationship.

Simple example:

Say I walk down the street and flip a complete stranger the finger - someone I have no past history with, no context, nothing. I did it just to antagonize them, because that's what I think is cool, that's the kind of person I've decided to be. And, having just been flipped off, they run up to me and punch me in the face.

I'd say that they aren't the bad guy for punching me. I'm the bad guy for flipping them off. That's what created the situation where there wasn't one, and wasn't going to be one if I hadn't antagonized them for my own amusement or feelings of superiority to the other person. Therefore, I can't cry foul for getting punched.

It's like back in school where one person bullies another, then the victim retaliates, but the bully pivots and acts like they're the real victim. It never made any sense then, and it doesn't today. You can ignore someone trying to screw with you, but that can make you seem weak in the eyes of the person doing it, and invite more antagonism from them and even from others cause people think you're not going to do anything about it. And you could also internalize this image of you as weak, a loser, etc. also.

In my life experience, "ignore it and it will go away", "turn the other cheek", etc. has never worked. It just makes you seem like a soft target. And it makes the person being picked on just bottle up their anger to take it out on someone else later.

Yes, it would be your fault for initiating it, but it's also partially the fault of the other guy for choosing to react the way he did. Regardless of what other people do, you are responsible for your actions. And on another note, if you are the type of guy that purposely goes around pissing people off, are you really going to own up to the fact that it's your fault? I think most people in that situation would blame the other guy because you didn't physically harm him like he did you.

On another note I guess it never occurred to me that you do get baited as well. Maybe I figured that it doesn't bother you as much because it doesn't seem like it but it very well could. I guess I never stopped to consider it, that's my fault there.

Does it really matter if it bothers me? Does it make it okay if it doesn't?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I think most people in that situation would blame the other guy because you didn't physically harm him like he did you.

I guess that's just where I have a different opinion. I don't see the value in protecting and prioritizing sociopaths because to me that just validates them and encourages them to keep acting that way. It rewards them. But this is another thing altogether. Best not to get too caught up in hypothetical situations.

On another note I guess it never occurred to me that you do get baited as well. Maybe I figured that it doesn't bother you as much because it doesn't seem like it but it very well could. I guess I never stopped to consider it, that's my fault there.

Does it really matter if it bothers me? Does it make it okay if it doesn't?

Does it really matter if it bothers you? I would say yes.

Does it make it OK if it doesn't? No.

---

I don't want to get too far afield from the topic of the thread though.

 

[Just Games]

Maybe it's me but I saw the title and I thought well that's interesting. Maybe I don't think deep enough,just surface level stuff.I don't like tall men cause they beat me at cards and win my money.Where as the short ugly  ones I know loose their money and make me richer alot .Here this is great we can talk all sorts of daft honeysuckle on here,glad I popped in
Annadandum:All my short card playing ugly/average aqaunteences without hangovers are successful with the ladies,just to verify like.

 

[U-122]

If I'd started a post saying I like big breasted women, I'd probably have been ripped to shreds. Double standards again.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I saw a statistic that finding a tall man is like finding a unicorn

 

[Sarah G]

I saw a statistic that finding a tall man is like finding a unicorn

You could look in the Netherlands (world's tallest people) although statistically they wash their hands the least of all Europeans (only 50% of the time after bathroom trips) so that's a pest.

 

[U-122]

You could look in the Netherlands (world's tallest people) although statistically they wash their hands the least of all Europeans (only 50% of the time after bathroom trips) so that's a pest.

Note to self: don't shake hands with the Dutch LOL i'm not in NL, not one, but european in the states. Tall. Get zero compliments or attention. Height means absolutely nothing. It's actually a huge disadvantage. Wish i was average.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You could look in the Netherlands (world's tallest people) although statistically they wash their hands the least of all Europeans (only 50% of the time after bathroom trips) so that's a pest.

That's a right pest but oddly.. sounds about right.

Tall. Get zero compliments or attention. Height means absolutely nothing.

Is this really true? Wow, always thought tall people loved their height

 

[Sunless Sky]

I always thought the taller you are the more of you there is to hit. In like a combat sport kind of situation. You also have more reach so i guess its not all bad.