I miss my husband so much this afternoon

[Butterfly 2]

It's a little over 2 months since I lost him and it has been a struggle, but I have somehow seemed to keep it all together and function and be out in the world. Sundays are especially sad and lonely for me, especially in the afternoon.

But this is Saturday afternoon and I am really struggling. I have done all the things I can think of like keep myself busy, went to visit a friend, and getting ready for a long bubble bath, etc. Yet I don't think anything is going to do a lot of good right now because it is my husband that I miss.

 

[Rohini]

Aw Butterfly,
I have been feeling the same way the last few days myself. Really missing my dad... Wishing I could go back, and just spend one more day with him.
There's no such thing as moving on from a loss, we just move through it. Day by day... but always with their memory in our hearts.


You're not alone, maybe that can give you at least a little solace, and knowing you can always come here and talk with others who are experiencing the same thing...

 

[Yeti1980]

Grief is a difficult thing to bear, and not something that has a timetable. It's perfectly natural for you to feel the way that you do, you have my deepest sympathy.

It's the love and support of family and friends that really helps, do you have someone around who you can talk to and who could perhaps keep you company?

I don't know you, but sending you lots of love all the same. Wishing you peace and comfort.

 

[Butterfly 2]

Aw Butterfly,
I have been feeling the same way the last few days myself. Really missing my dad... Wishing I could go back, and just spend one more day with him.
There's no such thing as moving on from a loss, we just move through it. Day by day... but always with their memory in our hearts.


You're not alone, maybe that can give you at least a little solace, and knowing you can always come here and talk with others who are experiencing the same thing...

Thank you. It just makes me feel better to know that there are people who care and I am so glad you posted words of comfort to me. I'm sorry you are going through something very similar. My mom and dad have been gone for 25 years now and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them. In fact, there isn't an hour that goes by when I don't. But in reality, I was actually with my husband more years than I was with my parents since I was in my early 40s when they passed on.

I have thought about that, too. If I could just spend one more day with my loved ones, I would be so loving to them and actually verbalize how important they are to me. But I almost think it would be harder let them go all over again.

 

[Butterfly 2]

Grief is a difficult thing to bear, and not something that has a timetable. It's perfectly natural for you to feel the way that you do, you have my deepest sympathy.

It's the love and support of family and friends that really helps, do you have someone around who you can talk to and who could perhaps keep you company?

I don't know you, but sending you lots of love all the same. Wishing you peace and comfort.

Thank you. You are so right because had it not been for the support of relatives and friends and neighbors, I would have been devastated. I don't have any actual family left on earth, but my brother's family has been very supportive and loving.

I think I am just actually missing him. I'm not feeling alone or want the company of others right now. I'm feeling more devastated now than I was when he first passed on and maybe it's because I'm forgetting how sick he was and how much he struggled the last few days and how I just prayed that the Lord would take him to heaven and he wouldn't have to struggle anymore. Some of that is fading and I'm remembering how things were before that.

 

[user 188522]

Your husband died first, leaving you in a world of pain. Think of how much pain he would have felt if the situation had been reversed. You have saved your husband from a world of hurt. No words on a page can take away the sadness . I hope you will feel at peace in time.

 

[user 188685]

Butterfly٫Iam so sorry٫you are not alone٫you have a lot of people here for you if you ever want to talk٫you can text me if you want٫Im always here for you٫everyone cares and is here for you.

 

[AceFace]

It's a little over 2 months since I lost him and it has been a struggle, but I have somehow seemed to keep it all together and function and be out in the world. Sundays are especially sad and lonely for me, especially in the afternoon.

But this is Saturday afternoon and I am really struggling. I have done all the things I can think of like keep myself busy, went to visit a friend, and getting ready for a long bubble bath, etc. Yet I don't think anything is going to do a lot of good right now because it is my husband that I miss.

I'm sorry for your loss I really feel for you, I lost my mum, sister ( to COVID) and my brother was electrocuted all within three weeks tough time, if you need to talk take care

 

[user 139760]

Just saw this, hope you're hanging in there and feel better, Butterfly. Hugs and thoughts out to you!

 

[sparkyn98]

I just saw this, as well, since I've been off the threads for quite some time and only came back about a month ago. I was widowed in 2007 at 35 years old with 3 boys.... I will tell you that while "staying busy" helps "hide" the pain, it does become easier...
Looking back, I tell people that even though I wasn't medicated, it felt like the first few months after his death were like a blur. Like I can't quite remember details and everything was in this haze of grief.
My boys and I moved in with my father the summer of 2009 as he was a Vietnam vet with recurring cancer.
I just lost him in November of last year. I think I'm stuck in denial and bargaining....
The grief process is tough and not a straight circle (as if that's a thing! lolol). It's different for everyone but I hope it does help you to know, you're never alone.
You have people here to chat with and play word games with and who care in their own way.
Internet was dial up when I lost my husband, but my online support groups were a BIG help!!
Prayers or good vibes and lots of hugs!!

 

[Butterfly 2]

You are such an awesome group of people and I feel blessed to have found this forum. There are a few people who have kept me sane at the beginning and given me a lot of fun as time has gone by.

Ace, I'm sorry for your losses and they were so close together. Covid pneumonia was also involved in my own loss.

Sparky, I am so very sorry for your losses. At the age you were when you lost him, it had to be devastating. I'm guessing it was probably sudden, is that correct? I'm sure your boys were a comfort for you and probably kept you too busy, which was probably a blessing in disguise.

I know exactly what you're talking about with the fog and I'm sure most of us do after losing someone close to us. When I first came here, I was definitely still in the fog and for a couple of months afterwards.

Your story reminds me of a young lady who took care of us with the final arrangements. She said she was in her 20s when she lost her husband and they had a 3-year-old daughter and were planning out their life together. He took off for work one morning and there was an accident and he didn't survive and she sunk into a depression for over a year. Her parents took care of her little girl because she was so devastated.

Stories like yours and hers make me count my blessings. We had a bit of notice and even though you don't accept it or don't truly believe it will happen, it wasn't a total shock. Fortunately he was able to live a fairly happy life and a pretty normal lifespan. I'm also grateful that we got to have several happy decades together and some people are never that blessed. As bad as things were at the very end, I just prayed that it would be over. No one wants to live like that or struggle like that.

Whenever I went through one of my, "Why didn't I" or "What if I would've" moments, I remembered that I believe in pre-ordained destiny and that gave me comfort.

I'm also so sorry to hear about your Dad. You are one of the wonderful people here who did the right thing and were there for your ancestors when they needed you. People who do that have very special souls. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story.