I was so mad today

[putter65]

I live with my Dad and we are both interested in sports. So we watch alot of football and cricket etc.

He is the most pesismistic person I have ever known. Every game were we are rooting or supporting for a team, he insists the other team will win. He comes up with sayings 'we won't win this' - it's every game. England football, England cricket, our local team, English golfers. Every single sporting event I watch, he keeps saying over and over again that our team will lose. It doesn't matter what score it is, how the match is going.

Anyway I have got used to this even though it drives me nuts. And the other thing is I can't say one little thing to him. If I do he sulks and gives me the silent treatment. He won't talk for hours on end.

So yesterday we had the ryder cup golf and he starts up, slagging off all our side, going on and on and on. He never as a good thing to say about anybody english, he calls them all 'honeysuckle' - So I had that which pissed me off and this morning we had english cricket on. And he calls them non stop (this includes shouting at the top of his voice at the tv) - so I had 2 hours of that. And then we went to our local football match. And he starts up 'they won't win this' etc, all the way thru the match. And I ignore him but finally after 30 minutes I snap and say 'say something positive for gods sake !' - of course he doesn't say anything, sulks, never says a word for the next 15 minutes like a childish *******. I try to talk but he doesn't answer so I just lose it. I stormed out and started shouting at myself. And I wanted to leave but the gates were shut. And if they had of been open I don't know what I had done. I was so mad. I could have done something to myself. BEcause this isn't something new. I have had 30 years of this ! He moans about everything and everybody, never has a good word to say about anything.

I know I should leave but I never do and it all gets forgotten the next day. I went back to sit next to him at the football match and he asked me where I had been. I made an excuse.

And everything is okay now but of course when I put the golf on tv this evening - he says 'they won't do any good because they are honeysuckle !' - i know he can't help it. I just don't see the point of it. I got so mad today I could have done anything.

How do I deal with this ?
(I do ignore him but he complains about this !)

 

[sth]

If he has been this how for 30+ years then he definitely won't change now.

You actually don't have many choices.
a) You can talk to him and try to make him understand. But I don't think it will help.
b) You simply get along the way you've been getting along so far. Just accept your father the way he is.
c) And if you're really sick and tired of this and if finances allow you, then you can always move out on your own.

 

[perfanoff]

I know I should leave

 

[putter65]

If he has been this how for 30+ years then he definitely won't change now.

You actually don't have many choices.
a) You can talk to him and try to make him understand. But I don't think it will help.
b) You simply get along the way you've been getting along so far. Just accept your father the way he is.
c) And if you're really sick and tired of this and if finances allow you, then you can always move out on your own.

I know he won't change and most of the time I put up with it. I know I have alot of faults as well.

I have had this week off so I have had an whole week of it. And there is always tension when the ryder cup is on. I look forward to it but his constant sniping grates at me and this afternoon I snapped.

I think if I did move out he would probably sulk and not talk to me again. I know I can't say one little thing to him, nothing !

He is impossible and I know sporting events aren't that important but it's the constant moaning that gets to me. Because half the time our team wins. What annoys me is when that happens he never says 'well done' - he doesn't even make a comment and switches something else on. He wants our team to lose so he can say 'he was right'

I play golf with him and 99% of the time something happens, some bust up. He is jealous of my playing and says nasty remarks. We even bought a snooker table and every sunday we play and all he does is moan and complain about his 'luck'

He is a glass half empty type person (Or even there is no glass and never has been !)

 

[VanillaCreme]

If he has been this how for 30+ years then he definitely won't change now.

This. Because how you describe your father is exactly how my dude's father was. And the man didn't change at all. For anything. I don't know your father, but I know for my dude's father, it was just a cycle of abuse - because let's face it, that's what it can be considered - that was just never ending. He refused to see reasoning, and admitting that he was wrong in his actions or words just wasn't heard of from him. People rarely change after so long of being a certain way.

 

[putter65]

If he has been this how for 30+ years then he definitely won't change now.

This. Because how you describe your father is exactly how my dude's father was. And the man didn't change at all. For anything. I don't know your father, but I know for my dude's father, it was just a cycle of abuse - because let's face it, that's what it can be considered - that was just never ending. He refused to see reasoning, and admitting that he was wrong in his actions or words just wasn't heard of from him. People rarely change after so long of being a certain way.

It's just his way and he is okay in alot of ways. He knows it drives me nuts and he will say 'i know you think I'm a kill joy but' and then he will go on calling fresia out of somebody or something.

I suppose he can't help it. He thinks he is unlucky and the world is against him. He reckons everything that happens is just to make him more miserable. He often says he won't go to football because they never win when he goes. Or he doesn't play the lottery because he would never win. Or he has no luck at golf because it's his 'fate' to have no luck. He gets lucky shots and he never see's them !

It's crazy !

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well, there's no reason to play the lottery unless its free.

 

[putter65]

Well, there's no reason to play the lottery unless its free.

i don't know. There is a saying 'you've got to be in it, to win it !'

He also says he wouldn't win a game of bingo if it was just him and someone else.

It's just boring and I am sick of it !

 

[putter65]

Well, there's no reason to play the lottery unless its free.

i don't know. There is a saying 'you've got to be in it, to win it !'

He also says he wouldn't win a game of bingo if it was just him and someone else.

It's just boring and I am sick of it !

HA ! HA !

After all that we win the Ryder cup ! All that negative honeysuckle I had to put up with !

Anyway the next one in 2014 is in Scotland. I am going to it ! Keep out of his way and if I can't get tickets, I will stay in an hotel or something.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Its statistically a regressive tax.