If you’re so smart, explain this?

[CenotaphGirl]

So please explain, what is actually so
bad about being vain, over confident, hmmm maybe a little delusional lol ?

People act like the worst thing you can be is over confident or you know “full of yourself” but whats wrong with it? If you rate yourself 10/10 theres always some kill joy sitting in their kill joy cave waiting to tell you you’re not all that why? I just dont get it

I lost a large portion of my confidence and I noticed that a lot of people prefer someone to have insecurity over self confidence, I cant understand it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, there's a fine line between being confident and being arrogant. Ultimately, it boils down to perspective. Your perspective might tell you that everything is fine and you aren't doing anything wrong. Someone else's perspective might say that you are over the line. Everything in life is a matter of perspective. Since none of us think exactly the same, you aren't always going to get the same opinion. I think it makes life more entertaining.

The "you" I used is generalized, not specifically referring to YOU.

 

[user 188644]

I mean we would have to go situation by situation for my specific reasons. Mostly I think it's how you display the confidence. Are you being arrogant or charismatic? Arrogance is okay if it's only your belief in yourself. When you start to aim it at others they probably won't like it. Like if I'm going to ask you out and you're like nope I can do better than you. It's probably even true, but man, that is not how I want to hear that, lol. A charismatic person will let you down pretty easily.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well, there's a fine line between being confident and being arrogant. Ultimately, it boils down to perspective. Your perspective might tell you that everything is fine and you aren't doing anything wrong. Someone else's perspective might say that you are over the line. Everything in life is a matter of perspective. Since none of us think exactly the same, you aren't always going to get the same opinion. I think it makes life more entertaining.

The "you" I used is generalized, not specifically referring to YOU.

Hmm I just still dont understand whats negative about it, like if I woke up and thought hmm I must be the best looking girl in the world today… wheres the crime in that? Like I know sooo many people who would buy a plane ticket from Australia and trek through the hills of England just to make sure I understand that I am not the best looking anything I cant help but wonder if there is an element of projecting? Maybe? Or if we fear people with a high sense of self as a culture?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I mean we would have to go situation by situation for my specific reasons. Mostly I think it's how you display the confidence. Are you being arrogant or charismatic? Arrogance is okay if it's only your belief in yourself. When you start to aim it at others they probably won't like it. Like if I'm going to ask you out and you're like nope I can do better than you. It's probably even true, but man, that is not how I want to hear that, lol. A charismatic person will let you down pretty easily.

Interesting, I agree with you to a certain degree here, arrogance is not actually negative if its just how someone feels about themselves, just no need to be a jerk though, I agree, but some people think you are a jerk just for simply thinking you’re attractive and thats what I cant grasp.

 

[user 188644]

Interesting, I agree with you to a certain degree here, arrogance is not actually negative if its just how someone feels about themselves, just no need to be a jerk though, I agree, but some people think you are a jerk just for simply thinking you’re attractive and thats what I cant grasp.

Looks are kinda odd because none of us really had a choice. Well we can choose to work on or physical fitness etc but even then in some cases a person is badly conditioned with food issues from a young age. Having nice cheek bones or full lips etc not really anyone's achievement or fault. There is a lot of value in being an attractive person. That's automatically a recipe for jealousy. Then like some guys probably won't like you because they can't have you and may want to bring you down a peg. Some may feel you're rubbing it in their face. There are probably tons of these kinds of reasons.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Looks are kinda odd because none of us really had a choice. Well we can choose to work on or physical fitness etc but even then in some cases a person is badly conditioned with food issues from a young age. Having nice cheek bones or full lips etc not really anyone's achievement or fault. There is a lot of value in being an attractive person. That's automatically a recipe for jealousy. Then like some guys probably won't like you because they can't have you and may want to bring you down a peg. Some may feel you're rubbing it in their face. There are probably tons of these kinds of reasons.

Oooh I agree with all of this, but I am a little confused at one bit.. feel that someone is rubbing what in their face? The fact that the person is happy with their own looks?

 

[user 188644]

Oooh I agree with all of this, but I am a little confused at one bit.. feel that someone is rubbing what in their face? The fact that the person is happy with their own looks?

I think it's more like I want what you have and you're telling me how great it is to have what you have and I don't like that very much.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think, in order to not be deemed as arrogant, you need to have some humility. It's okay to think that about yourself, but if you overly flaunt it to everyone else, it comes off as.....narcissistic?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I think, in order to not be deemed as arrogant, you need to have some humility. It's okay to think that about yourself, but if you overly flaunt it to everyone else, it comes off as.....narcissistic?

Hmm maybe i’ll never understand, because my logic side of the brain is smoking lol over turning the information like a math equation… if its “okay” then whats wrong with expressing it? Idk, I am at a loss, if someone said that I’d be so happy for them lol but other people deem it so negative, if I dont think there is something wrong about something then I dont think theres anything wrong about expressing it personally (maybe there is something wrong?) People go around, constantly bashing themselves, which is perfectly tolerated, but the min someone has something confident to say everyone labels them with very powerful words, that I think are harmful, vain, narc, and so on…

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You know whattt reminds me of a song, “you’re insecure… dont know what for” “you dont know you’re beautiful, thats what makes you beautiful” these statements are in the same song, why would anyone say anything positive about themselves if doing so makes you a negative label or ugly ?

Oh for the spectators, who wonder where this question originated from… its a trend to go around and ask people to rate their looks out of 10 for youtube, and you just know you cant say 10, even if thats your truth as people will be waiting like sharks to tell you how delusion and narc and vain you are. See now, I think thats negative.

 

[TheSkaFish]

So please explain, what is actually so
bad about being vain, over confident, hmmm maybe a little delusional lol ?

People act like the worst thing you can be is over confident or you know “full of yourself” but whats wrong with it? If you rate yourself 10/10 theres always some kill joy sitting in their kill joy cave waiting to tell you you’re not all that why? I just dont get it

I lost a large portion of my confidence and I noticed that a lot of people prefer someone to have insecurity over self confidence, I cant understand it.

I think it's because - while you may not intend to come off this way - sometimes it makes people feel, like you think you're better than them (general "you", not YOU "you"). I know I hate it when people act like they're better/higher than me, I find it extremely insulting/offensive and I'm instantly hostile to the person.

Also, if you obviously have a lot of something - looks, money, ability, fame, etc. - and you're flaunting it in front of people that don't have it, it just reminds them of their misery, hopelessness, bad luck, etc. Think about this - if you were eating a filling, delicious meal, and going on and on about how tasty and satisfying it was, in front of a starving person - how do you think they would feel? Or if you rev your sports car's engine at a homeless person. It's kind of rude, tone-deaf, in poor taste.

If you really do have a lot of something, generally it speaks for itself, and going out of one's way to state it just seems like you (again general you) want to let them know that you think you're superior. You know the phrase "sore loser"? This is the opposite, it's being a "sore winner".

From what I've seen of you on here so far, I don't think you do this, by the way. I'm just talking about it in a general sense.

Then there's the kind of people that I really don't like - the kind of person, usually a guy, that isn't that good at anything or doesn't have anything that great going for him, but acts like he's king of the world anyway, complete with the honeysuckle eating "ha ha I'm better than you" grin, or the forced, cliche tough guy face. This kind of person has nothing to brag about, yet brags anyway. I don't like them because I think they're bullshit artists.

I think it's OK to say or feel something like "****, I look good today". But where people run into trouble is when they make it a comparison, "I'm the best, I'm better than this and that person, etc."

Anyway just my two cents.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Like I know sooo many people who would buy a plane ticket from Australia and trek through the hills of England just to make sure I understand that I am not the best looking anything I cant help but wonder if there is an element of projecting? Maybe?

I feel like there's something you're not telling us...what did you do to Australia????

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I think it's because - while you may not intend to come off this way - sometimes it makes people feel, like you think you're better than them (general "you", not YOU "you"). I know I hate it when people act like they're better/higher than me, I find it extremely insulting/offensive and I'm instantly hostile to the person.

Also, if you obviously have a lot of something - looks, money, ability, fame, etc. - and you're flaunting it in front of people that don't have it, it just reminds them of their misery, hopelessness, bad luck, etc. Think about this - if you were eating a filling, delicious meal, and going on and on about how tasty and satisfying it was, in front of a starving person - how do you think they would feel? Or if you rev your sports car's engine at a homeless person. It's kind of rude, tone-deaf, in poor taste.

If you really do have a lot of something, generally it speaks for itself, and going out of one's way to state it just seems like you (again general you) want to let them know that you think you're superior. You know the phrase "sore loser"? This is the opposite, it's being a "sore winner".

From what I've seen of you on here so far, I don't think you do this, by the way. I'm just talking about it in a general sense.

Then there's the kind of people that I really don't like - the kind of person, usually a guy, that isn't that good at anything or doesn't have anything that great going for him, but acts like he's king of the world anyway, complete with the honeysuckle eating "ha ha I'm better than you" grin, or the forced, cliche tough guy face. This kind of person has nothing to brag about, yet brags anyway. I don't like them because I think they're bullshit artists.

I think it's OK to say or feel something like "****, I look good today". But where people run into trouble is when they make it a comparison, "I'm the best, I'm better than this and that person, etc."

Anyway just my two cents.

Sorry Skafishy I couldnt help but laugh at the honeysuckle eating grin bit that made me chuckle You know, I think the reason why this is a hard topic to touch on is because it reveals the opposite of what people try to prove, looks dont matter? but yet being good looking in certain conversations has this over tone of “value”… flaunting riches is deffo uncalled for but thinking im hot well… i’d do anything to get back to that level of confidence again, if people wanna know where I personally stand

I cant see a negative, maybe some experiences are a preemptive strike, just incase you might think you are better than me i’ll cut you down? Or oh i only think im a 4 and shes a 10, thats delusional lol shes no better than me… but if looks dont matter why would a higher rating make someone better than someone else?

I feel like there's something you're not telling us...what did you do to Australia????

what happens in the land down under, stays in the land down under mate lool

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, let me try to explain it this way.....No one is perfect, yet you are trying to tell everyone you are perfect. If you are a 10 out of 10, you think you are perfect, which means that you are saying, whether you intend to or not, that you are better than everyone else.

What would you do if someone said they were a 0 or even a 1?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Okay, let me try to explain it this way.....No one is perfect, yet you are trying to tell everyone you are perfect. If you are a 10 out of 10, you think you are perfect, which means that you are saying, whether you intend to or not, that you are better than everyone else.

What would you do if someone said they were a 0 or even a 1?

i’d be soooo upset, I hate feeling low about my appearance so i couldnt wish that on anyone I’d rather them be arrogant and flashy and feel good about themselves

 

[TheRealCallie]

i’d be soooo upset, I hate feeling low about my appearance so i couldnt wish that on anyone I’d rather them be arrogant and flashy and feel good about themselves

Two sides of the same coin. Okay, so you feel so high about your appearance and would hate people to think low of theirs.....Now try to see it from their perspective. If you thought yourself at a 0 or 1...or hell, probably even below 5, how would you feel about someone who says they are a 10? Would you "flaunt" your perfect appearance to someone who thought they were a low number?

Also, I really dislike that stupid scale. 99.9% of people don't put themselves where they actually belong because beauty is subjective. Just because YOU see yourself as a 10, doesn't mean everyone will and just because someone else sees their looks as a 0, doesn't mean everyone else will see them the same way. So, it's all just a stupid game to me that doesn't really matter.

 

[Finished]

Then there's the kind of people that I really don't like - the kind of person, usually a guy, that isn't that good at anything or doesn't have anything that great going for him, but acts like he's king of the world anyway, complete with the honeysuckle eating "ha ha I'm better than you" grin, or the forced, cliche tough guy face. This kind of person has nothing to brag about, yet brags anyway. I don't like them because I think they're bullshit artists.

Maybe this is a big part of it. IMO, there are a lot of bullshit artists out there. Again, IMO, everything is a fraud now. I'm so sick of seeing, "We have great customer service." Yet, I can't even speak to a human to take care of my problem and it never gets solved. Very little is as it appears to be any more. This is at the heart of why I didn't get vaccinated. I simply couldn't / can't believe what the government was / is telling me because so often they are caught lying or wrong.

So, when someone says they are a 10 or great for whatever reason people's reactions are, sure, here's another ......... and then they jump on them without finding out if it's true or not. Can you really take a person's word or not any more. I would like to. But, I just can't. I've been lied to so many times that I've grown to expect it. I know I've made comments on here like, if people are talking they are lying.

There is a small percentage of true 10 people or people who are nearly perfect or doing really great in some area. Most people are well, average. So, it's much easier for the average person to believe that the person is lying. And they either feel hurt or threatened by it.

I, myself, excel in some areas and fail in others. Overall I'm definitely not average. But, I've noticed if I say I'm great at...... then people tend to tune off to whatever else I say. I used to tell people about some of my adventures in climbing, caving, hiking, 4x4ing, and what not. They are far above what the average person can or are willing to do. I really didn't mind if I died so I pushed myself to do very dangerous stuff. So, they don't believe me and just assume everything I'm saying is BS. So, I rarely talk about my adventures now. I just say I like to hike and 4x4 sometimes and leave it at that. Then the person easily accepts that and says something like, that's cool.

So, people can easily accept and applaud when someone says they are pretty. But, if someone says they are a 10, then they must be wrong. I've also found out on here they people can not accept that others are a 2 because it's out of the average. So, they must be wrong too. Everything MUST be average so the average person feels normal.

What I don't know, do other people that are 10s believe it when another 10 says they are a 10? I mean, do they just accept because they know 10s exist? I assume they would. When someone the excels in an area tells me that this other person excels in the same area I usually believe it.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Maybe this is a big part of it. IMO, there are a lot of bullshit artists out there. Again, IMO, everything is a fraud now. I'm so sick of seeing, "We have great customer service." Yet, I can't even speak to a human to take care of my problem and it never gets solved. Very little is as it appears to be any more. This is at the heart of why I didn't get vaccinated. I simply couldn't / can't believe what the government was / is telling me because so often they are caught lying or wrong.

So, when someone says they are a 10 or great for whatever reason people's reactions are, sure, here's another ......... and then they jump on them without finding out if it's true or not. Can you really take a person's word or not any more. I would like to. But, I just can't. I've been lied to so many times that I've grown to expect it. I know I've made comments on here like, if people are talking they are lying.

There is a small percentage of true 10 people or people who are nearly perfect or doing really great in some area. Most people are well, average. So, it's much easier for the average person to believe that the person is lying. And they either feel hurt or threatened by it.

I, myself, excel in some areas and fail in others. Overall I'm definitely not average. But, I've noticed if I say I'm great at...... then people tend to tune off to whatever else I say. I used to tell people about some of my adventures in climbing, caving, hiking, 4x4ing, and what not. They are far above what the average person can or are willing to do. I really didn't mind if I died so I pushed myself to do very dangerous stuff. So, they don't believe me and just assume everything I'm saying is BS. So, I rarely talk about my adventures now. I just say I like to hike and 4x4 sometimes and leave it at that. Then the person easily accepts that and says something like, that's cool.

So, people can easily accept and applaud when someone says they are pretty. But, if someone says they are a 10, then they must be wrong. I've also found out on here they people can not accept that others are a 2 because it's out of the average. So, they must be wrong too. Everything MUST be average so the average person feels normal.

What I don't know, do other people that are 10s believe it when another 10 says they are a 10? I mean, do they just accept because they know 10s exist? I assume they would. When someone the excels in an area tells me that this other person excels in the same area I usually believe it.

Awh Finished this made me feel so sad I think its true if you actually praise yourself no one wants to hear it, they only want to hear you tearing yourself down. Being satisfied with who you are is a crime…

I agree with Callie on looks being subjective, so theres no real truth in if someone is hot or not its just opinions. My opinion is my older sister is the best looking woman I’ve ever seen (that ***** i joke ) but i’d never really tear her down to feel better about myself.

To be honest I have rated others a 10, for my taste but 1’s not so much, so maybe you’re right maybe I have a mental block on the opposite end, the low rating end

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Rhetorical question!