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CenotaphGirl

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So, I can only speak from my experiences and the things I teach my son. First, you always hold the door, open the door, walk beside not in front or behind, in a crowd grab a hand or put hand on the back. I was not taught this but this is how I have always been treated at all ages. Yes, I can do those things for myself but for me its a show of respect and support. Do I expect all men to do this, hell no. Why would they unless they are taught that or believe they should. Then there's the crazy women like Ashley Judd who gets her panties in a bunch because a man did what?... I don't know, it was something silly though.
Ok, feelings. Of course men have feelings. Ive been tied up and locked in an apartment daily for months because of a mans feelings, granted not healthy feelings but feelings nonetheless. I can say that in my experience the more artistic and creative the man the better he is at expressing his feelings. I have always encouraged my son to express his feelings no matter what. However, Ive also stressed the importance of not being mistaken for a push over or a sucker.
As far as strength, no person man or woman should ever depend on another person for strength...channel it, use it as support when needed but never depend on another person. That is every individual's personal responsibilty. A man can't save you from yourself.
Oh and making a man or anyone cry never feels good unless that was the objective. In that case tick yourself a point for achieving a goal.
Oh Claudia and RandomGuy and Apex! I just dont know, I've complained many times on here that I grew up watching a man run his household the way I was taught a man should. Never crying, never talking about feelings, never asking my mother to pay a bill, completely protected her... died happily married to her, I have come to accept that this is the man of yesterday and I am stuck with the "man" or whatever of today... it's depressing. I want a man to make me feel safe, maybe it's unreasonable but if he cant I just dont know what the point is, cant be more honest than that. It's like finding out Santa isn't real finding out men aren't happy the way I need them to be.
 

ardour

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Oh Claudia and RandomGuy and Apex! I just dont know, I've complained many times on here that I grew up watching a man run his household the way I was taught a man should. Never crying, never talking about feelings, never asking my mother to pay a bill, completely protected her... died happily married to her, I have come to accept that this is the man of yesterday and I am stuck with the "man" or whatever of today... it's depressing. I want a man to make me feel safe, maybe it's unreasonable but if he cant I just dont know what the point is, cant be more honest than that. It's like finding out Santa isn't real finding out men aren't happy the way I need them to be.
We aren't utilities.
 

CenotaphGirl

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We aren't utilities.
Issue is you’re meant to be in my opinion. Its a mans world, the men of the past built everything, it was a good thing.

However, just as women of today have been taught to hate their previous role of serving their husband and motherhood, men are being taught to hate their role of providing and protecting… thus.. the average man is depressed along with various 40+ women who woke up and realised they long for a child and cant have any.

Realtionships are pointless, everything you do with your partner you could be doing while single, theres no family unit, no balance.

Women can adapt to this better than men because men arent physically desirable (to 70% of women). The things that attract 70% of women have been claimed to be height, strength, and in various women Caucasian men as they represent success around certain areas of the world (all things men cannot change) Just as youth and beauty attract men as it represents fertility. So obviously somewhere instinctually maybe? a vast majority of us want our gender roles back.
 

ardour

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Issue is you’re meant to be in my opinion. Its a mans world, the men of the past built everything, it was a good thing.

However, just as women of today have been taught to hate their previous role of serving their husband and motherhood, men are being taught to hate their role of providing and protecting… thus.. the average man is depressed along with various 40+ women who woke up and realised they long for a child and cant have any.

Realtionships are pointless, everything you do with your partner you could be doing while single, theres no family unit, no balance.

Women can adapt to this better than men because men arent physically desirable (to 70% of women). The things that attract 70% of women have been claimed to be height, strength, and in various women Caucasian men as they represent success around certain areas of the world (all things men cannot change) Just as youth and beauty attract men as it represents fertility. So obviously somewhere instinctually maybe? a vast majority of us want our gender roles back.

Men were able to deal with their role because it granted them status and acceptance in a community, but I'm sure if their wives said to them what you just said in so many words (nothing more than living ATM/bodyguards) they would not have been happy. There needs to be a pretense of genuine feeling between people.

Unless you're claiming that men really don't have legitimate humanity, in which case good luck finding any man who will accept that, even a "traditional" one. I have male friends from conservative cultures who would never accept that kind of attitude in a wife.

And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like it if your boyfriend described you purely in terms of being a trophy or a breeder, so stop hamming it up.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Men were able to deal with their role because it granted them status and acceptance in a community, but I'm sure if their wives said to them what you just said in so many words (nothing more than living ATM/bodyguards) they would not have been happy. There needs to be a pretense of genuine feeling between people.

Unless you're claiming that men really don't have legitimate humanity, in which case good luck finding any man who will accept that, even a "traditional" one. I have male friends from conservative cultures who would never accept that kind of attitude in a wife.

And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like it if your boyfriend described you purely in terms of being a trophy or a breeder, so stop hamming it up.

I am making a point here Ardour, a point about society, not a point about what men want to hear, no one can manipulate a man like I can... and thats just facts. Of course, you tell him he's your one true love, he's not just money and protection, but let him stop making money... a leading cause in divorce is financial problems... let that sink in.

you want a peek into the mind of the women men are describing but all anyone can see are angels is because of all the pretending. I didn't write the rules.

Also, check the statistics on infidelity and side children of men who went for infertility treatment with their wives. Those men cheat and make kids outside their marriage the most, I wonder why...
 

ardour

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I am making a point here Ardour, a point about society, not a point about what men want to hear, no one can manipulate a man like I can... and thats just facts. Of course, you tell him he's your one true love, he's not just money and protection, but let him stop making money... a leading cause in divorce is financial problems... let that sink in.

you want a peek into the mind of the women men are describing but all anyone can see are angels is because of all the pretending. I didn't write the rules.

Also, check the statistics on infidelity and side children of men who went for infertility treatment with their wives. Those men cheat and make kids outside their marriage the most, I wonder why...
If you love money so much, go make it yourself, then buy your way into a gated community.
 

CenotaphGirl

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If you love money so much, go make it yourself, then buy your way into a gated community.
I have money Ardour lol I dont need a man for that, I am talking in general statistics. Oh and I didn't make it myself, my dad made sure I was financial protected, imagine if he left it to the men of today.

Alsooo im trying very hard not to highjack this bloody thread stop making it all about me, we are here to talk about men and their feelings after all, although... we can talk about me if you really wanna, we all know you have a soft spot for me 💕 🤪
 

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Issue is you’re meant to be in my opinion. Its a mans world, the men of the past built everything, it was a good thing.

However, just as women of today have been taught to hate their previous role of serving their husband and motherhood, men are being taught to hate their role of providing and protecting… thus.. the average man is depressed along with various 40+ women who woke up and realised they long for a child and cant have any.

Realtionships are pointless, everything you do with your partner you could be doing while single, theres no family unit, no balance.

Women can adapt to this better than men because men arent physically desirable (to 70% of women). The things that attract 70% of women have been claimed to be height, strength, and in various women Caucasian men as they represent success around certain areas of the world (all things men cannot change) Just as youth and beauty attract men as it represents fertility. So obviously somewhere instinctually maybe? a vast majority of us want our gender roles back.
Some women are simply craving a return to the traditional, macho male provider, having tired of the feminised New Man

Or perhaps the answer lies in a deeper need for security and yearning for a protector?.

A small minority who haven’t accepted the death of their father, and may have an unhappy relationship with their mother, seek to resurrect the father through having a relationship with a man who has the imagined attributes of the deceased father. What they’re essentially looking for is somebody who can look after them materially and emotionally. The father role is to protect and provide for you.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Some women are simply craving a return to the traditional, macho male provider, having tired of the feminised New Man

Or perhaps the answer lies in a deeper need for security and yearning for a protector?.

A small minority who haven’t accepted the death of their father, and may have an unhappy relationship with their mother, seek to resurrect the father through having a relationship with a man who has the imagined attributes of the deceased father. What they’re essentially looking for is somebody who can look after them materially and emotionally. The father role is to protect and provide for you.
Are you the person who writes my horoscopes? This is me 100000000% 😇✨
 

Rohini

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Some women are simply craving a return to the traditional, macho male provider, having tired of the feminised New Man

Or perhaps the answer lies in a deeper need for security and yearning for a protector?.

A small minority who haven’t accepted the death of their father, and may have an unhappy relationship with their mother, seek to resurrect the father through having a relationship with a man who has the imagined attributes of the deceased father. What they’re essentially looking for is somebody who can look after them materially and emotionally. The father role is to protect and provide for you.
Bingo.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Feeling is mostly optional to me. Keyword being mostly. Thing is that once I turn them off I can't exactly turn them back on again, I used to be able to, but that lever kind of broke from the frequency of me doing it. So now it just becomes like a reflexive response to overwhelming bombardment.

To some degree, I prefer it that way. It's better than being sad all the time. And I hate being angry, mostly because it's exhausting to overspend my energy that way. I can control my biorhythm better with the suspension of my emotions. My mind in that moment is but a white room of an echo chamber, which works really well in conjunction with all of my thoughts being a stream of consciousness rather than molded postulations.

It's in my writing and artistic outlets that the articulate molding happens. To some degree yes, I do kind of talk this way, just perhaps without a backspace button to let me redact a thought to try to better word it. lol.

But, trying to have a structured life, and the finessing and molding of it, requires me to tap into that weightlessness and lack of feeling in order to efficiently organize and reorganize my objectives in time synchronization, financial organization, and lastly by personal preferences. I have my own narrative, is the thing. Which is why I gave up on the idea of dating and let the longingness subside.

There's also a large part of me that's looking at it from the logical practicality of my life that thinks:
Why would I want to be emotionally connected to a planet that only wants to exploit my emotional connection?

So because of that, I remain detached. Because it's more tranquil for me to remain detached.
But nobody can remain entirely detached all of the time, it's not really humanly possible, at least not without some form of a lobotomy or potential ECT.

I try to decompress either at the end of my days or at the end of my weeks, depending on how troublesome they are.

As a madman, I have all of the time among the timeless nothingness.

Oh Claudia and RandomGuy and Apex! I just dont know, I've complained many times on here that I grew up watching a man run his household the way I was taught a man should. Never crying, never talking about feelings, never asking my mother to pay a bill, completely protected her... died happily married to her, I have come to accept that this is the man of yesterday and I am stuck with the "man" or whatever of today... it's depressing. I want a man to make me feel safe, maybe it's unreasonable but if he cant I just dont know what the point is, cant be more honest than that. It's like finding out Santa isn't real finding out men aren't happy the way I need them to be.

This is the equal but polar opposite of what men go through when they realize that monogamy is a social construct after a girl monkey branches. A shattering of dreams or a deconstruction of a conceptual understanding of reality.

Pain isn't a bad thing, most people think that it is, but it isn't. It's a good thing. For one thing, it lets you know that you're still alive. For another thing, it allows you to see what you need to focus on and/or change. So in all actuality, pain is a teacher in life.

Things upset me all of the time, I'm an artist, so I'm naturally a perfectionist, and outside sources throw wrenches in my system all of the time. So I have to learn to deal with it. It's in HOW I learn to deal with it, is the thing.

The general rule of thumb is that I make it a point not to get emotionally close to things and people that can cause me pain beyond my threshold, not because I can't handle it, but because high levels of stress trigger me spiraling out, potentially hallucinating, and I really can't control what happens beyond a certain point of that. I've had experiences in such states that are highly atypical, amoral, and that I can't really speak of publicly without potential risk to throwing my identity or self legal incrimination. There's definitely a hard line between fantasy and reality, and when that line disappears, things can get very dicey very quickly, and it's one thing if you're blurring that line while making a romance or sex scene in a movie, it's another thing if you're blurring that line in a horror movie. I dream in Lovecraftian sometimes, so I mean, there's that. Which is all the more reason why I practice developmental detachment.

People are products of their environments, and under my circumstances and environment I evolved and adapted accordingly. That's life. That's how people become who they are, through that such adaptation, so it differs from person to person accordingly.

Issue is you’re meant to be in my opinion. Its a mans world, the men of the past built everything, it was a good thing.

However, just as women of today have been taught to hate their previous role of serving their husband and motherhood, men are being taught to hate their role of providing and protecting… thus.. the average man is depressed along with various 40+ women who woke up and realised they long for a child and cant have any.

Realtionships are pointless, everything you do with your partner you could be doing while single, theres no family unit, no balance.

Women can adapt to this better than men because men arent physically desirable (to 70% of women). The things that attract 70% of women have been claimed to be height, strength, and in various women Caucasian men as they represent success around certain areas of the world (all things men cannot change) Just as youth and beauty attract men as it represents fertility. So obviously somewhere instinctually maybe? a vast majority of us want our gender roles back.

I am making a point here Ardour, a point about society, not a point about what men want to hear, no one can manipulate a man like I can... and thats just facts.

:unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

I kinda wanna pick your brain on something Cen. I need an answer to this relating to this from exactly that perspective actually.

Of what utilitarian use or purpose could you find for manipulating a man who finds the following to be resoundingly true:

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."
 

CenotaphGirl

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Feeling is mostly optional to me. Keyword being mostly. Thing is that once I turn them off I can't exactly turn them back on again, I used to be able to, but that lever kind of broke from the frequency of me doing it. So now it just becomes like a reflexive response to overwhelming bombardment.

To some degree, I prefer it that way. It's better than being sad all the time. And I hate being angry, mostly because it's exhausting to overspend my energy that way. I can control my biorhythm better with the suspension of my emotions. My mind in that moment is but a white room of an echo chamber, which works really well in conjunction with all of my thoughts being a stream of consciousness rather than molded postulations.

It's in my writing and artistic outlets that the articulate molding happens. To some degree yes, I do kind of talk this way, just perhaps without a backspace button to let me redact a thought to try to better word it. lol.

But, trying to have a structured life, and the finessing and molding of it, requires me to tap into that weightlessness and lack of feeling in order to efficiently organize and reorganize my objectives in time synchronization, financial organization, and lastly by personal preferences. I have my own narrative, is the thing. Which is why I gave up on the idea of dating and let the longingness subside.

There's also a large part of me that's looking at it from the logical practicality of my life that thinks:
Why would I want to be emotionally connected to a planet that only wants to exploit my emotional connection?

So because of that, I remain detached. Because it's more tranquil for me to remain detached.
But nobody can remain entirely detached all of the time, it's not really humanly possible, at least not without some form of a lobotomy or potential ECT.

I try to decompress either at the end of my days or at the end of my weeks, depending on how troublesome they are.

As a madman, I have all of the time among the timeless nothingness.



This is the equal but polar opposite of what men go through when they realize that monogamy is a social construct after a girl monkey branches. A shattering of dreams or a deconstruction of a conceptual understanding of reality.

Pain isn't a bad thing, most people think that it is, but it isn't. It's a good thing. For one thing, it lets you know that you're still alive. For another thing, it allows you to see what you need to focus on and/or change. So in all actuality, pain is a teacher in life.

Things upset me all of the time, I'm an artist, so I'm naturally a perfectionist, and outside sources throw wrenches in my system all of the time. So I have to learn to deal with it. It's in HOW I learn to deal with it, is the thing.

The general rule of thumb is that I make it a point not to get emotionally close to things and people that can cause me pain beyond my threshold, not because I can't handle it, but because high levels of stress trigger me spiraling out, potentially hallucinating, and I really can't control what happens beyond a certain point of that. I've had experiences in such states that are highly atypical, amoral, and that I can't really speak of publicly without potential risk to throwing my identity or self legal incrimination. There's definitely a hard line between fantasy and reality, and when that line disappears, things can get very dicey very quickly, and it's one thing if you're blurring that line while making a romance or sex scene in a movie, it's another thing if you're blurring that line in a horror movie. I dream in Lovecraftian sometimes, so I mean, there's that. Which is all the more reason why I practice developmental detachment.

People are products of their environments, and under my circumstances and environment I evolved and adapted accordingly. That's life. That's how people become who they are, through that such adaptation, so it differs from person to person accordingly.





:unsure: :unsure: :unsure:

I kinda wanna pick your brain on something Cen. I need an answer to this relating to this from exactly that perspective actually.

Of what utilitarian use or purpose could you find for manipulating a man who finds the following to be resoundingly true:

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."
Honestly, I dont knowww, manipulating men is an easy pass time for most women... (not that most women would)... like honestly, I could fix this tap, or pay someone to do it but my neighbour Gary is desperate for me to acknowledge his existence, so I guess he can do it. I'll tell him how much I've searched and searched and I just cant find anyone, maybe blame Brexit... you know... maybe compliment him and say how most men just aren't as handy and skilled as him anymore and its sad but I didn't even know that was manipulation until last year. (exampleee only I haven't done anything like this, im an innocent angel).
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Honestly, I dont knowww, manipulating men is an easy pass time for most women... (not that most women would)... like honestly, I could fix this tap, or pay someone to do it but my neighbour Gary is desperate for me to acknowledge his existence, so I guess he can do it. I'll tell him how much I've searched and searched and I just cant find anyone, maybe blame Brexit... you know... maybe compliment him and say how most men just aren't as handy and skilled as him anymore and its sad but I didn't even know that was manipulation until last year. (exampleee only I haven't done anything like this, im an innocent angel).

That's cute, Cen. 😌 😂
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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I am all types of cute when I need to be, so big strong Apex.... wanna fix my tap? You see I'd do it but since Brexit... x ✨ I'm joking... but honestly why dont average men wanna go abroad? I saw on YouTube that average men can date 126 women in 3 years abroad.

Truthfully?
Most of us can't afford it and are more hopeful and concerned about potential future retirement and the longevity of our lives. I don't wanna be like 65 or 70 years old and stuck between being penniless and not being able to retire, and physically not being able to continue working due to my age because I prioritized incorrectly in my youth and wasted my time by living on the whim of how I feel. My life has always been this struggle, and I've spent the majority of it trying to find someone who would be willing to help make it NOT this struggle...until I gave up, at least, and decided that if you want justice done right, you've gotta do it yourself as a man. I think that's the hiccup that happens in miscommunication between men and women: The reason why there aren't any available "already built men" is because the amount of sacrifice and effort that it takes for a man to build a life for himself and by himself from scratch and from the ground up, by the time he gets to a certain point with that, he doesn't feel the need for a relationship anymore, it becomes a want, rather than a need, and most wants are put aside for what is needed, like trying not do fuck your life up anymore than it already has been messed up. Trial and error is a motherfucker of a teacher in life. 😔
 

CenotaphGirl

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Truthfully?
Most of us can't afford it and are more hopeful and concerned about potential future retirement and the longevity of our lives. I don't wanna be like 65 or 70 years old and stuck between being penniless and not being able to retire, and physically not being able to continue working due to my age because I prioritized incorrectly in my youth and wasted my time by living on the whim of how I feel. My life has always been this struggle, and I've spent the majority of it trying to find someone who would be willing to help make it NOT this struggle...until I gave up, at least, and decided that if you want justice done right, you've gotta do it yourself as a man. I think that's the hiccup that happens in miscommunication between men and women: The reason why there aren't any available "already built men" is because the amount of sacrifice and effort that it takes for a man to build a life for himself and by himself from scratch and from the ground up, by the time he gets to a certain point with that, he doesn't feel the need for a relationship anymore, it becomes a want, rather than a need, and most wants are put aside for what is needed, like trying not do fuck your life up anymore than it already has been messed up. Trial and error is a motherfucker of a teacher in life. 😔
Yeah I know what ya mean... honestly sometimes I wonder if everyone would be happier living in the jungle, sometimes I wish I could be in a plane crash and survive on an island with strong men going to fetch me coconuts, hunt and feed me... while I wash the coconut shells and prepare the meals... ugh why do I have to be born now... I hate now. I'd even rather go back to a time before all technology than this confusing shitty time... take me to a time with hot vikings.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Yeah I know what ya mean... honestly sometimes I wonder if everyone would be happier living in the jungle, sometimes I wish I could be in a plane crash and survive on an island with strong men going to fetch me coconuts, hunt and feed me... while I wash the coconut shells and prepare the meals... ugh why do I have to be born now... I hate now. I'd even rather go back to a time before all technology than this confusing shitty time... take me to a time with hot vikings.

The guys that can afford to travel abroad usually come in 1 of 2 forms: Either guys that can afford it without it being a financial issue who have no attachments to the women they hook up with and treat the entire experience like a weekend tennis game at the park, or guys who can't afford it but are slaves to their desires who will paradoxically spend 3+ years savings just to go have a wild experience in Germany or something and then come back home and proudly proclaim "I am not a simp!"... Even though they just hardcore simped. 🤷‍♂️😂

There's nothing NOT average about me, actually. Except maybe my thinking being obscured by my mental illness. I have a BMI of 22, I make well below a living wage, never had abs, totally slimmer to average belly, and so other than the fact that I'm both creative and simultaneously don't really give a shit I honestly have no idea why women like me. In all probability they should hate me. I don't get it. Maybe I'm forbidden fruit because I'm forward about not really being emotionally available? I don't know, I don't get it, and generally I don't overthink it unless I'm in a situation where I'm really not into some girl that's following me around like a lost dog that I can't shake off like this one girl does that works for me. Attention makes me uncomfortable, it always has. And yes, I agree, when it comes to dating, now totally sucks ass.
 

CenotaphGirl

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The guys that can afford to travel abroad usually come in 1 of 2 forms: Either guys that can afford it without it being a financial issue who have no attachments to the women they hook up with and treat the entire experience like a weekend tennis game at the park, or guys who can't afford it but are slaves to their desires who will paradoxically spend 3+ years savings just to go have a wild experience in Germany or something and then come back home and proudly proclaim "I am not a simp!"... Even though they just hardcore simped. 🤷‍♂️😂

There's nothing NOT average about me, actually. Except maybe my thinking being obscured by my mental illness. I have a BMI of 22, I make well below a living wage, never had abs, totally slimmer to average belly, and so other than the fact that I'm both creative and simultaneously don't really give a shit I honestly have no idea why women like me. In all probability they should hate me. I don't get it. Maybe I'm forbidden fruit because I'm forward about not really being emotionally available? I don't know, I don't get it, and generally I don't overthink it unless I'm in a situation where I'm really not into some girl that's following me around like a lost dog that I can't shake off like this one girl does that works for me. Attention makes me uncomfortable, it always has. And yes, I agree, when it comes to dating, now totally sucks ass.
Honestly any girl would be lucky to have ya! You’re a deep thinker, like my little Ardour… most women do like men that are average my sisters friends fight over who gets to sleep with the local plumber… so idk!!
 

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