Hey, social anxiety has always been a problem for me, but it seems I also scare others or push them away. People frustrate me to the point where I question their intelligence. I know not everyone can be a scholar, but wow! Some of the people I've met since I moved here, wtf? Sometimes though, I feel like such a loser having no friends. Sometimes if the topic comes up as to what am I doing for Christmas, I often lie and say I'm spending it with a friend or a friend's family. This really backfires when they ask me who, because then I have to make up a random name out of the top of my head. My birthday was a couple of days ago and when someone asked me what I had planned, I said nothing. The person felt really bad for me, and I felt like a loser. I don't even invite anyone into my apartment because I have no furniture or a bed, and the loser in me shows. I'm beginning to realize I'm not myself around other people. It is so much easier to get away with stuff when no one cares about you, so I guess that's a plus. If it were up to me, I would not take part in society.