Incel Forums Are Crazy

[SpectraApocalypse]

I recently went to incels.is because I am (not ideologically, but sexually) an incel. I was met with a lot of gate keeping and suspicion as soon as I posted and was banned soon after for expressing that I was left wing, wasnt a racist and would date someone considered "ugly". It was an all around crazy, twisted place. Has anyone else had the same experience?

 

[Finished]

I recently went to incels.is because I am (not ideologically, but sexually) an incel. I was met with a lot of gate keeping and suspicion as soon as I posted and was banned soon after for expressing that I was left wing, wasnt a racist and would date someone considered "ugly". It was an all around crazy, twisted place. Has anyone else had the same experience?

Yes sir. Originally I was really intrigued with the Incel community. The statical information they linked to was reputable. The experiences they described seemed to match mine very closely. My lack of success seemed to make sense from what they were saying. So, I really thought I finally found a group that I would really fit in with. But, I didn't hate women and didn't blame them for my lack of success. I did find their use of terms very creative, clever, and kind of funny. But, I simply couldn't buy into all the hate. Besides there are plenty of women in our same boat.

I tried to sign up a few times on different sites. But, I was never successful due to their gate keeping. No loss.

 

[Xpendable]

The best thing those places have are the statistics and some interesting theories about looks, everything else is either too hateful, too repetitive, or too dumb to get something out of it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I've browsed sites like that, and the reddits when they were still up, just to see what it was all about, because I felt like the media was only pushing one side of the story.

But I've avoided it, because for one thing, the sites seem sketchy, and I don't want to pick up malware from it.

Also because I want answers, and there don't seem to be any answers there. A big part of their belief system seems to be that there is no answer. I'm afraid of that, but I don't want to believe it. I want to get out of this singledom bullshit. I just don't know how.

I don't think looks are my main problem (besides getting some muscle, and a few other minor things) though. I think it's something else, but my thoughts on that could be a thread in and of itself. Idk, I don't think the people on those sites are quite the same thing as me, there's some similarity in the problem, but that's it. We don't quite believe the same things, they're much more extreme. I don't think it would do me any good to join.

 

[ardour]

I've not had any reason to visit incel sites. I made the mistake of looking at the 'Return of Kings' site years ago out of curiosity. It was vile and extreme.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

Yes sir. Originally I was really intrigued with the Incel community. The statical information they linked to was reputable. The experiences they described seemed to match mine very closely. My lack of success seemed to make sense from what they were saying. So, I really thought I finally found a group that I would really fit in with. But, I didn't hate women and didn't blame them for my lack of success. I did find their use of terms very creative, clever, and kind of funny. But, I simply couldn't buy into all the hate. Besides there are plenty of women in our same boat.

I tried to sign up a few times on different sites. But, I was never successful due to their gate keeping. No loss.

I read one thing and thought I might fit in but after that I found that everyone was close minded and crazy

 

[Forgottendanfan]

It's a horrible, toxic community. Best to steer clear of it.

 

[Macsimum Myers]

I recently went to incels.is because I am (not ideologically, but sexually) an incel. I was met with a lot of gate keeping and suspicion as soon as I posted and was banned soon after for expressing that I was left wing, wasnt a racist and would date someone considered "ugly". It was an all around crazy, twisted place. Has anyone else had the same experience?

People who are proud of being incels are often demented, vile idiots.
Stay away from demented, vile idiots.

 

[The Wanderer]

I recently went to incels.is because I am (not ideologically, but sexually) an incel. I was met with a lot of gate keeping and suspicion as soon as I posted and was banned soon after for expressing that I was left wing, wasnt a racist and would date someone considered "ugly". It was an all around crazy, twisted place. Has anyone else had the same experience?

I smiled when I saw the title. Like, I was going to click on something else but this immediately caught my attention and I forgot everything else. I don't know why. I think its because there is two types of people obsessed with food; the morbidly obese and the anorexic. Those people you met are distorted, their very identity is wrapped around an obsession they feel a desperate need to justify.
You're not an incel. You're a human being who is changing and growing all the time.
Get out there. Eat. Don't eat. Drink. Don't Drink. fresia. Don't fresia. Whatever you do, do what they can't.
Enjoy your life.

 

[Hereward87]

I used to be quite resentful towards women because of my near-complete lack of any success with women. Now I've just become apathetic concerning the Issue of finding a partner. I personally think it would be better to be alone than in a toxic relationship, anyway.

 

[user 188685]

I've not had any reason to visit incel sites. I made the mistake of looking at the 'Return of Kings' site years ago out of curiosity. It was vile and extreme.

Me either

 

[Hereward87]

I've not had any reason to visit incel sites. I made the mistake of looking at the 'Return of Kings' site years ago out of curiosity. It was vile and extreme.

I don't get this use of the term "extreme" surely something is either right or wrong, and that's it.

 

[MoonRiver]

I don't get this use of the term "extreme" surely something is either right or wrong, and that's it.

Of course there is such a term in use. There is a scale for everything and opinions on forums alike are based on emotions not facts. Hatred, rage reach its extreme on such forums. Incel forums are in fact used as an outlet of emotions not finding solutions.

 

[WillPower]

People on incel forums just blame others instead of taking any accountability themselves. And you will never get anywhere in life doing that.

 

[TheSkaFish]

People on incel forums just blame others instead of taking any accountability themselves. And you will never get anywhere in life doing that.

Devil's Advocate, but -

I don't know how much faith I put in accountability. I've seen a LOT of people work hard in life. Yet I've only ever seen a few people get anywhere.

You could say that it's not enough to work hard - you have to work hard at the right stuff. Working hard at the wrong stuff won't help. But, can they work hard at the right stuff though? Or do they not have the capacity?

Most of the people I've seen who are in a good position, were always that way. They didn't have to change their bodies, interests, personalities, etc. - they were just naturally the "right" kind of person. Growing up, I never saw people become strong, smart, good-looking, funny, good at this or that thing etc. - you were either born that way or you weren't. People didn't change much from one year to the next.

It's always made me question personal responsibility/accountability. I feel like it might make things a LITTLE better, but I don't know if it will take you all the way. Almost everyone desires things like friendship and relationships, it's natural. But are some people just too un-gifted to get anywhere? I don't know.

 

[WillPower]

Devil's Advocate, but -

I don't know how much faith I put in accountability. I've seen a LOT of people work hard in life. Yet I've only ever seen a few people get anywhere.

You could say that it's not enough to work hard - you have to work hard at the right stuff. Working hard at the wrong stuff won't help. But, can they work hard at the right stuff though? Or do they not have the capacity?

Most of the people I've seen who are in a good position, were always that way. They didn't have to change their bodies, interests, personalities, etc. - they were just naturally the "right" kind of person. Growing up, I never saw people become strong, smart, good-looking, funny, good at this or that thing etc. - you were either born that way or you weren't. People didn't change much from one year to the next.

It's always made me question personal responsibility/accountability. I feel like it might make things a LITTLE better, but I don't know if it will take you all the way. Almost everyone desires things like friendship and relationships, it's natural. But are some people just too un-gifted to get anywhere? I don't know.

True. I am not saying working hard is a magic pill and that everyone who works hard is going to get results. I am just saying that if you are a person who isn't just naturally good at things or in a good position, then complaining about things and not even trying to do anything about it generally isn't going to lead you anywhere. As cliche as it sounds, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Sitting on a forum all day spewing toxic ideology about women isn't gonna make them want to date you.

I think everyone's capacity to improve is different. Some people can improve a lot. Some people probably not as much. But I do think everyone can work to be better than they are. I think for many things, changing is a marathon, not a sprint. Things such as getting a better body. You might not see significant results for 4 or 5 years. I was a scrawny guy. It took years of consistently going to the gym and working out before I saw any type of improvement. Even now, I don't have the most muscular body out there or anything. But I'm a whole lot better and attractive to women than what I once was. Other things, you can improve much more quickly. Like fashion. I used to be terrible at fashion. Wasn't into it at all, and didn't see the point of it. But I realized that it was a representation of who you were, and not only helped with women, but with other areas of your life such as career. That's something you can change within a year, and you don't need to be rich to get a respectable wardrobe. There are lots of great men's fashion youtube channels out there that can help out even the most clueless person (like I was).

As far as there being people too un-gifted to get anywhere? There might be a small percentage. I won't say there aren't any. But I don't think there are that many. The reason I say that is I have seen guys much uglier than me have success with women. I have seen guys who are obese who have dated beautiful women. I have even seen guys who are midgets (sorry if not the politically correct word) who are great with women. All these guys have disadvantages that are worse than me, but have done much better than me. If these guys can do it, why can't I? And even guys who are too un-gifted, I still say there is probably someone out there for them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You could say that it's not enough to work hard - you have to work hard at the right stuff. Working hard at the wrong stuff won't help. But, can they work hard

You do have to work hard at the right stuff. But "hard" has different meaning depending on where you are mentally. If you are in the middle of your rut, "hard work" isn't going to be the same as when you are out of it and looking back on what you actually did. At first I thought all my problems stemmed from the fact that I was fat and hated myself. I lost the weight....that wasn't it. I still hated myself.
I continued to work on honeysuckle and try not to hate myself, but it wasn't until a few years after my ex left me that i put my full effort into getting myself out of that mental space I was in. The thing you "Try" while you are in your rut seems like you are putting your full effort in, but hindsight after you are out typically shows that you really weren't.

So yes, I believe everyone CAN work that hard, but only if they are 1000% willing to let go of honeysuckle and make it happen. It's hard to get to that point and it usually doesn't until you truly hit rock bottom. Also, I thought I had hit rock bottom at least a dozen times before I truly did.

Growing up, I never saw people become strong, smart, good-looking, funny, good at this or that thing etc. - you were either born that way or you weren't. People didn't change much from one year to the next.

People change these things all the time, but it's usually so slow that you don't really see it. The good looking part can come from lots of things l, even plastic surgery. People get smarter and funnier and stronger all the time. It doesn't happen overnight, so it's hard to see it, especially with people you are around all the time.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

That's because it's a cult.
Do you know how cults recruit people?
That's usually how.

 

[user 139760]

Ive always been funny and sexy. Incels hate me for getting ALL the pretty girls

 

[REDEMPTION]

I used to be an active member of two incel sites for two years and befriended two members on there whom I am still in contact with. I'm friends with the creator of one site aswell, but I don't talk to him anymore. My experience was good in there until it's downfall in late 2020 which made the sites look like honeysuckle now. The mainstream, big domains such as .is are toxic and full of edged on teenagers while smaller, not so well known ones are more tame.