Intrusive parents

[knt]

Does anyone have parents like this? My dad is super intrusive and bossy and will tell me I need to do xyz about anything in my life. I’m almost 40 years old, married, with our own house. If he catches wind of any disagreement or problem he will harp on me about it.

We don’t have kids and aren’t going to have kids. We have pets which I do consider like my kids. He loves to tell me how stupid it is to have more than 1-2 pets. He loves to tell me what I need to do in my marriage or if there’s a problem, he will be arguing with me to some extreme that I need to just sell my house and give up, or how I need to live my life day to day.

It really gets under my skin that someone thinks they can demand what you need to do as if you’re 12 years old, and it never ends.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

My mum is like that opens all my letters pretends to be me on the phone, I am always out so i send my packages to her house omg she opens them!!! shes so crazy.

 

[Trevor]

Sounds like you need to stand up to your old man. He may not like it, but you are an adult now and he may very well respect you for it, or he may pop you one in the kisser. Either way, I think you should speak your mind.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I agree with Trevor, you should definitely tell him to stop. It's YOUR life, not his and he needs to understand that.

Is he the type you can talk to openly? Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it and someone just needs to point it out to him?

 

[user 188522]

Maybe he is living vicariously thru you and doesn't want to address his own life. I would keep answering, " I'll take that under advisement." and smile. Your dad sounds like a sad man.

 

[Sir Joseph]

Knt, you're fortunate to have a Dad who cares enough to take notice of things in your life and to comment. Essentially, he's still mentoring you as a parent, which is a way of showing love.

I believe the Bible's 5th commandment applies in your case - for life. You owe honor and respect to your Dad no matter how old you are. That dictates how you respond to his annoying intrusiveness.

Having said that, if Dad's being a jerk or an intrusive, negative influence in your life, you do need to have a sit down talk with him to discuss it. I'd start with a compliment, letting him know that you appreciate his interest and involvment in your life. Then, proceed to explain to him how his ways are rude and hurtful. Hopefully he'll try to change a bit, but don't expect too much from an old man already set in his ways. You can try to draw a line, but I think it'll be hard to do. In the end, I like Lady Grey's response above. When you say that, it's a kind, respectful way of letting him know you disagree.

 

[Sci-Fi]

My mom was like that, she's eased off because she got told a few times. It is something some parents have a hard time doing.