Zen28
Active member
I'm in my late thirties and am trapped in a catch 22 with building relationships. You need friends to make friends, and I have no relationships at all. It's not as bad as it sounds but it is very tedious and there's no help to get back into society. So is going back to school (not distance learning) the only way left?
From my experience the lack of information to build relationships in this situation is pretty depressing. You get the usual:
- Join a club. This only works if you know members already, and have preferably been born in the local area, otherwise no one trusts you.
- Read a book. Great, if you're lonely, read about people having a good time.
- Volunteering. According to the internet volunteering is the answer to getting anything you want. Actually volunteering is about giving, not getting. You don't get anything back from volunteering, nothing. That's the point.
- Work. Probably the worst environment to make friends is a place where it's stressful, demanding, competitive and serious. Unless you're a masochist or someone.
- Meetup.com. Very unsuitable if you've been out of the loop for a while, and has unfortunately come to dominate the online market.
- Religion: No thanks.
And those are your options. Except those aren't options if you're alone, they're just things for people who want to expand their existing networks. No matter how I reshape my attitude, the lack of choice is really daunting. You're simply screwed if you are alone - you get no chance with people.
So are there alternatives to going back to school? It isn't the cure for everything to me, only that there's so few, if any other options to get back into society. I'm just a bit tired of reading articles that say you can meet people by approaching random strangers in coffee shops or bars like it was as simple as a netflix adventure. Or you just click on the arrows over their heads and select the dropdown options. Yeah just tired of playing against the odds.
From my experience the lack of information to build relationships in this situation is pretty depressing. You get the usual:
- Join a club. This only works if you know members already, and have preferably been born in the local area, otherwise no one trusts you.
- Read a book. Great, if you're lonely, read about people having a good time.
- Volunteering. According to the internet volunteering is the answer to getting anything you want. Actually volunteering is about giving, not getting. You don't get anything back from volunteering, nothing. That's the point.
- Work. Probably the worst environment to make friends is a place where it's stressful, demanding, competitive and serious. Unless you're a masochist or someone.
- Meetup.com. Very unsuitable if you've been out of the loop for a while, and has unfortunately come to dominate the online market.
- Religion: No thanks.
And those are your options. Except those aren't options if you're alone, they're just things for people who want to expand their existing networks. No matter how I reshape my attitude, the lack of choice is really daunting. You're simply screwed if you are alone - you get no chance with people.
So are there alternatives to going back to school? It isn't the cure for everything to me, only that there's so few, if any other options to get back into society. I'm just a bit tired of reading articles that say you can meet people by approaching random strangers in coffee shops or bars like it was as simple as a netflix adventure. Or you just click on the arrows over their heads and select the dropdown options. Yeah just tired of playing against the odds.