Is it better to go without Love?

[Aedammair]

Is it better to never let someone in so they never get hurt or to open up and risk their chances at any semblance to a normal life that they would lead without you?
I am planning to go into the military. After that I am planning a career that could very well lead to my death. I don't want to put anyone that I honestly love through that. I am honestly considering completely cutting myself off from several people when I get closer to going for this expressed reason. What would any of you do?

Thanks,
Aedammair

 

[Phaedron]

I think that military who live on the verge of death every day and are deployed anywhere and everywhere should either be very open with their relationships or closed off completely. It's more of a live in the moment kind of thing as love will always be secondary and perhaps should be experienced wherever you can find it. Just be honest about the life you lead and the fact the relationship will most likely end and things should be okay. If you do find someone who is okay with the possibly you will away for many years, and possibly die, then that is fine too, just make sure they understand this ahead of time.

People who want the really deep relationships that last forever are better off avoiding dangerous careers, but that doesn't mean you can't have any love at all, but you have to be okay with temporary love and experience it with like-minded individuals.

My solution to the soldiers whose sense of honor compel them to want the really deep relationships would be a special military arrangement. As general I would allow two soldiers who are in love with each other to attend all missions as a couple, and should one die the other would as well. So long as they understand their duty comes first and their love does not hinder their performance I would have no problem with this arrangement.

While I believe that being a soldier is a noble path, my personal quest for truth and spirituality has lead me to the conclusion that no present government, nor the new world order, is worth my devotion, however my conspiracy beliefs are completely irrelevant to your question.

 

[Aedammair]

It is not a matter that the government is right. It is that I really need to go into the military. (I don't know how to explain it) I just don't know if it would be worth it to put someone I actually love through the emotional rollercoaster.

 

[nerdygirl]

Depending on the person you are involved with, it would be acceptable to continue a relationship despite being in the military. As long as you don't become a big ho and screw tons of people just because waa, you're lonely. I always get really pissed off when the military person does that, knowing that the person at home is lonely, too.

 

[Naleena]

Look. First of all, Im willing to bet they are grown ups. I would let them make that decision. You shouldn't make it for them. Not fair to them. And you might be surprised that most people would want to get to know you. Anyone of us could die tomorrow. People die all the time in accidents and through illnesses. Your chances will be higer but, they aren't carved in stone. Heres a little something for you. To me it says, dance, love, live because all we have is now. Don't worry about what might be...live in the moment. Ps sorry for the edit. the origiinal video was disabled.

[youtube]eLF3l2YNVDI[/youtube]

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Hmm.. well you cannot miss what you have never had. As for not wanting to hurt someone. If someone does not understand the risks of loving someone in the military, they should not be with you.

 

[Badjedidude]

All branches of the military have excellent resources for spouses of their personnel. So it's not like the girl would be entirely alone and confused in the ordeal...she'd have support networks and make friends with other spouses and girlfriends of soldiers. So that in itself would be a help to any future women you might hook up with.

Go for it. Being a soldier is a poor excuse to put off love, man. If it happens, it happens....and just enjoy it for as long as it can be enjoyed.

We like to pretend that we can control relationships...but even if we're not in the army, we could die any second, our loves could die any second, they could leave us at any moment...so really, all that you can do ANYWAY is just enjoy being with her for as long as you can.

That's the attitude you should go into the army with, regarding women that you may be interested in. Just love and live for as long as you can.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I was in the military when I got married.

If you're going to join becuase there's some crazy thoughts in the back of your mind there's a death wish..they probably won't ya

 

[edgecrusher]

"its better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all"

this is a saying that has tuck with me and made me realize that i do want to experience love because when i become to old if i have never experienced it i am sure that i will regret it very much. one day that just kind if hit me when i heard it somewhere and i think its true.

 

[Orthochromatic]

"its better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all"

Exactly what I was thinking as I read the original post. Loss and sorrow are a part of life and relationships, just like joy, love, and fulfillment.

I lost my wife to a hit & run drunk driver several years ago. I sat with her in a neurosurgery icu at the trauma center for three days straight chasing away ministers and priests before eventually having to make the decision to disconnect her life support. It was a horrific experience, the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever done.

I did have eight years of a wonderful relationship before that though. Those eight years (of mostly good times - but not a storybook life for sure) far outweigh the few days in the hospital and sense of loss you feel afterward. If I had just shut people out so no one would get hurt, I would have never had those eight years with her.

 

[Mike Moose]

it's just strange how people interpret what love is and how ****ing compicated it becomes..if you truely loved someone you wouldn't do anything to hurt them but it happens all the time..sometimes I just get the feeling people pretend to be in love because it's good for their ego..or they're just frightened to be on their own..these people are a menace to society and should be locked up with my picture on the wall for 50 years!