Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

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Spare

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I've been thinking about this a lot.

Having spent time as the latter, and having recently experienced the former, I have come to the laborious conclusion that yes, it is.

What do you think?
 
That saying is complete and total BS. You cannot miss what you never had. Yes love is a wonderful feeling. However, once it is gone, it is the most miserable feeling one can have.
 
Spare said:
I've been thinking about this a lot.

Having spent time as the latter, and having recently experienced the former, I have come to the laborious conclusion that yes, it is.

What do you think?


Agreed. Sometimes it hurts like a *****, but I feel like I usually come out the other end a smarter, stronger, and better person. There is no substitute for that kind of experience. And you CAN miss things you've never experienced. Much of life is the process of longing for the things we have yet to obtain or experience and working to get to them.
 
I appreciate loving even though I lost him. I wouldn't change what happened, even knowing the outcome.
 
having never experienced it i dont know what to say. all i know is id really like to as opposed to not.
 
I would never trade in the love that i have felt, and the love that was given to me...one of the best feelings in the world. No matter the outcome, it is better to have loved and lost... than to never have loved at all.
 
i've never been in love and i've never been liked by some1 either, or been the one some1 would be in love with. but i am pretty sure that a human soul and heart NEED love in order to function well. i really think that. and also i think i',m pretty sure that the feeling i'm having now is much worse than the feeling of having lost love.
 
My exwife had told me that. I was like "Do you regret anything?" and that's what she told me. I guess she had a point. There were some seriously happy moments in my life with her and even though they're gone now, at the time, I was just happy to be alive. It's one of those things where you just have to live in the moment.
 
AFrozenSoul said:
That saying is complete and total BS. You cannot miss what you never had. Yes love is a wonderful feeling. However, once it is gone, it is the most miserable feeling one can have.

This ^

Is the relationships i've had with the people i've been in love with that are somewhat the cause for the horrible unhappy life i have.
Loving someone and having it returned is of course, the best thing in the world. But having it taken away is beyond soul crushing, it's like a curse. Long for it but when it's gone that previous feeling of wanting to be loved is replaced by a sheer overwhelming sense of rejection, disappointment, upset and extreme depression.
Losing your love far outweighs gaining them, maybe it's a case of 'you don't appreciate what you have until it's gone'.. relationship is great, but again the loss of it is agonizing and lasts a very.. very long time. To the point you almost regret actually ever falling for that person you loved so deerly.
 
When I was a no girlfriend getting teen, I thought that whoever coined that phrase was just showing off. Now, I know that the loss of one love can lead to a new and even greater love.

The saying goes: God never closes a door in your life without opening up a window in the other room. They part that is left out of that positive sentiment is that it is usually hell waiting for you in the hallway. Make it to that window other room, endure, perservere, learn. Then take a look at the world that you fought to get to the window to see; open it and look with wonder and possibility.
 
Good question..

I have 2 fantastic kids so thats an easy one for me, I wouldn't change that for the world. But I think its better to have loved and lost regardless.

I think its a bit patronizing to say you don't miss what you have never had. I'm sure those who have never been in a relationship have a well formed idea of what it is to love someone and be loved and it must hurt intensely to have never experienced that.

Before I met my first girlfriend at 18 I had a highly idealistic romantic view of what it would be like to be in love, all soft focus perfection. That then got sullied by subsequent break ups and infidelity and all the hurt that comes with it. So I know realistically what I'm missing now, I’m aware of the bad as well as the good. I've had some fantastic moments but love isn't as perfect a concept as when I'd never known it and that’s a good thing, helps me cope with being alone.
 
I think this is subjective. For some people it is better to have loved and lost the ones they loved than never had loved at all. For others it is the opposite. At the end it depends on one's character, the nature of the relationship, reasons why the relationship did not work out, etc...
 
It's better to have never loved than to have loved and lost.

If you have never experienced love, then you don't know what you are missing and things are good.

If you do love and then lose it, then you will know what you have lost and will want it back.
 
MRQM said:
I think this is subjective. For some people it is better to have loved and lost the ones they loved than never had loved at all. For others it is the opposite. At the end it depends on one's character, the nature of the relationship, reasons why the relationship did not work out, etc...

This is a very good point. The type and ending conditions of the relationship is a really big factor.

blackdot said:
It's better to have never loved than to have loved and lost.

If you have never experienced love, then you don't know what you are missing and things are good.

If you do love and then lose it, then you will know what you have lost and will want it back.

I disagree though, I think never having loved is worse. If I was on my deathbed right now, would I rather think:

"It's such a shame me and so and so split up."

Or:

"I wish I'd just kissed somebody, but it never did happen."

I think the latter is far more of a regret than the former. Plus there's a very unique hurt that comes with watching others enjoy love while you persist on your own.
 

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