Is this a Relationship or not??

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August Campbell

My ultimate dream came true.
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Looking forward to meeting Sheila for another Tennis match this afternoon. I do not consider her a girlfriend at all, because, after all, there is No emotional attachment---but still, we've been regularly meeting twice a week. So I don't know whether this is a relationship or not. Is there a particular label to specify this kind of arrangement?
When I ask her, she replies that all she wants is a good hiking partner and tennis partner. But I'm sure Sheila has friends of the same gender who do sports, so why only me? That's what perplexes me. Can anybody shed some light on this?
 
Well she told you, she doesn't want a relationship. Although that depends on what exactly you asked her. I hope for your sake you were up front with her.

The real question is, what do you want out of this relationship? I know you said you don't consider her a girlfriend but is that how you would like it to stay?

Overall, I would advise you to just enjoy what you have with her. She obviously likes you. Enough to keep meeting with you week after week. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship.
 
****, I'll ask the question everyone wants the answer too. Does she play tennis in a leotard?
 
It's really hard to say, but I've had plenty of female friends that I've had no designs on whatsoever. Some of them I saw frequently. We just enjoyed each other's company and things never went all smoochy or nookie. If she's interested in you, she's taking it very slowly. I'll contrast that with my wife, who told me that she wanted to be "more than friends" within 2 weeks of us meeting. But, everyone works in different ways, so, who knows? If it's driving you crazy, as others said, ask her and see what happens.
 
Quite honestly you never know. Maybe she is kind of interested in you. But, she wants to see how you behave and if she thinks she may like more from you. If not then she has a partner to play sports with. Also maybe she isn't interested in anything more yet. Maybe she is just making herself available to see if anything happens. I would not ask her directly though because if she totally isn't interested in you then you'll loose a sports partner.

A very single and dating woman at work found out that I hiked alot. So she asked if we could start hiking together. I said sure. After several weeks with her being very friendly to me, I asked her to go to dinner one time. She said, OMG! You're like my little brother. She was only 4 years older then I was. Suddenly she was no longer interested in doing anything else with me ever again. All I did was ask her to dinner once as in I'm hungry lets get cleaned up and go to dinner at ..............
 
If companionships all you want get a dog sir, it's far less complicated and nobody gets hurt.
NO way. Because a dog is not socialization, a dog can not play tennis, a dog can not converse. Yesterday after the tennis, Sheila and I went to Whole Foods vegetarian place where we had a meal together, during which she conversed quite a lot.
 
****, I'll ask the question everyone wants the answer too. Does she play tennis in a leotard?
Actually no, because she quit wearing them. The reason is because at the 3rd time, her tights suddenly ripped in a certain spot. So she went back to "regular" attire. How her tights ripped is because that day she was demonstrating to me what she does in her workout class, so she demonstrated her stretch. At some point, she lost balance, so she either stretched the wrong way or stretched too much. So the fabric got a slight rip. Sheila could not see it because of where it was. But I saw it because I glimpsed a sudden flash of white.
She did not believe me at first, so she took a hand-mirror from her purse. By holding the mirror at a certain angle, she could see the rip reflected in the mirror. Luckily she had a pair of denim pants in her car, so she wore them for the rest of our excursion.

In a sense, that mishap was good because now she's back to modest attire, which is what I prefer.
 
The real question is, what do you want out of this relationship? I know you said you don't consider her a girlfriend but is that how you would like it to stay?

Overall, I would advise you to just enjoy what you have with her. She obviously likes you. Enough to keep meeting with you week after week. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship.
To answer your question-- to tell you the truth, I want it to stay platonic. It's just that her behavior made me worry about her motives.
 
This sounds like a strange question as I process it through my brain and type it, but do you prefer the social company of women? Is that why you want female companionship? I'm only asking because, and I'm making some assumptions about your sexuality, which is none of my business, but couldn't you easily have platonic relationships with men? Do you also have those? Or do you just get along better with women? I actually tend to get along better with women than men, so I could understand if that was the case. I guess I'm just trying to understand the underlying issue. When I've had women who I consider friends who one day said they wanted to "go further," I just told them outright and we either remained friends or they disappeared from my life because they didn't want to be "just friends" with me. I've had the same thing happen to me when I wanted to be more than friends with someone. This issue usually happens in reverse, so that's why I'm asking these questions. I just find the situation interesting.
 
This sounds like a strange question as I process it through my brain and type it, but do you prefer the social company of women? Is that why you want female companionship? I'm only asking because, and I'm making some assumptions about your sexuality, which is none of my business, but couldn't you easily have platonic relationships with men? Do you also have those? Or do you just get along better with women? I actually tend to get along better with women than men, so I could understand if that was the case. I guess I'm just trying to understand the underlying issue. When I've had women who I consider friends who one day said they wanted to "go further," I just told them outright and we either remained friends or they disappeared from my life because they didn't want to be "just friends" with me. I've had the same thing happen to me when I wanted to be more than friends with someone. This issue usually happens in reverse, so that's why I'm asking these questions. I just find the situation interesting.
Sounds like your situations are somewhat similar to mine. The only difference is that I don't chase Women at all. For example, as you recall from my experiences at the homeless shelter, it was the Staff that introduced Teresa to me. Obviously,the socializing had to begin at first as platonic since the intention was the cribbage game. When it later developed into romantic, it totally surprised me--in fact, too much so, because it ruined a nice companionship.
As for the current companion, Sheila, I was not looking for a Female at all. All I did was simply post on a local bulletin board that I'm looking for a tennis partner. I did not specify gender. In fact, I had expected a Male to answer my ad. So I was surprised that Sheila showed up. But then I went with the flow. So this is where I am at now, which I'm enjoying so much. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

What I'm trying to say is that either female or male is fine with me since it's specifically for tennis. As for cribbage, I do it with a Male. But he likes to meet only once a month, whereas Sheila likes every week. So it's a matter of "happenstance" that I meet her more often than the male.

Admittedly, though, I enjoy Sheila's companionship in a different way than I would with a male. That happens whenever we go to the Vegan marketplace where we have lunch together. Those lunches result in Conversations from which I get different "vibes" than I would from a male.
Now that I answered your questions, it's only fair I ask you. How would you compare my experiences with yours? Do you still continue in this way with your companions?
 

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