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sunflowergirl1306

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I had a best friend,I knew her/have known her since I was in grade school,we met each other at a private school we were going to,I haven't seen her since last year,now I can't see her because of how expensive gas is,and now she has some new friend,I can understand that she wants to have a friend that lives closer to her than I am,but it feels like I have lost my best friend,and that she has a new best friend.
 
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I'm sorry. That really sucks! Distance is a real problem in any relationship. I helped a really good friend pack, clean up his house, move about 280 miles away, unpack, and organize his stuff. I texted him a few times a week later and never heard from him again. Ever. No thank you. Nothing. Friends use friends until they are no longer needed.
 

Sir Joseph

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Sunflowergirl1360, your situation is common and not a lost cause.

During my life, I've moved all around the country and left friends behind 7 times. Each time I moved away from good friendships and found virtually all of them too willing to let go of the relationship - being out of sight, out of mind. I had a choice though and I chose to be the assertive one to maintain contact - with letters, calls, and occasional visits. Since high school, college, and work life eras, I've lost half of those friendships, but today I still work to maintain the ones that I can, having over 50 of them all over the U.S. and overseas. I do make occasional visits, but more often maintain the relationships with emails and calls.

Might I suggest that your good friend is worth hanging onto. Maybe she doesn't realize that you two can still share your lives apart. I separated from many of my friends 30-40 years ago, yet we've stayed in touch and continued to enjoy sharing each others lives. One way I accomplish this with so many people is to put them onto my calendar for a letter or a call - twice a year minimum at Christmas time and on their birthday. I also make many trips around the country and the world visiting them at various times. It's a one-way effort, but one I feel is worthwhile.

I'm sure you can hold onto your friend if you commit to it - and look forward to occasional visits in the future as budget allows. As you two both grow older, the invested years will be appreciated.
 

Tfranklinyo

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Sunflowergirl1360, your situation is common and not a lost cause.

During my life, I've moved all around the country and left friends behind 7 times. Each time I moved away from good friendships and found virtually all of them too willing to let go of the relationship - being out of sight, out of mind. I had a choice though and I chose to be the assertive one to maintain contact - with letters, calls, and occasional visits. Since high school, college, and work life eras, I've lost half of those friendships, but today I still work to maintain the ones that I can, having over 50 of them all over the U.S. and overseas. I do make occasional visits, but more often maintain the relationships with emails and calls.

Might I suggest that your good friend is worth hanging onto. Maybe she doesn't realize that you two can still share your lives apart. I separated from many of my friends 30-40 years ago, yet we've stayed in touch and continued to enjoy sharing each others lives. One way I accomplish this with so many people is to put them onto my calendar for a letter or a call - twice a year minimum at Christmas time and on their birthday. I also make many trips around the country and the world visiting them at various times. It's a one-way effort, but one I feel is worthwhile.

I'm sure you can hold onto your friend if you commit to it - and look forward to occasional visits in the future as budget allows. As you two both grow older, the invested years will be appreciated.

I've never been quite so depressed by something so positive.
 
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