I've come to the conclusion

[Okiedokes]

I'm no expert and this is just from my own personal feelings and what I've learned about love and commitment.

Love...is acceptance. Loving someone no matter what, whether they have annoying traits, a personality flaw (in your opinion), and working around those things. It has nothing to do with lust, lust is a whole different scenario but it can be connected in with love of course. It's good to have a physical relationship as well as the emotional and intellectual with someone. Love is caring about the other person as much as yourself. You want them to be as happy as you are and maybe even happier. It is a selfless kind of feeling but it's hard to understand that when the feeling is within you. You want that love in return, but you love anyway..even if you don't receive it..because it's just there. It's not there to make you feel complete... sometimes you don't even know why it's there or why you even love the person. I think in the end, if someone doesn't have it for you..you love them by letting them go and be happy. If they come back to want to try things out, yeah you might go and try it with some conditions of course because it takes two and a complete selfless act of joining two loves together. Not wanting to make demands, and not making any unreasonable expectations. You just.. accept the person for who they are and try to compromise on things you don't agree on. If it's any less than this.. maybe it's not love. Or maybe it's there, but one person has to dig inside themselves to figure out what it is. Love is action and commitment, and a wanting of that person in your life, to share your life with. It's called a feeling because it's in our soul to "want" to love them.

I think if anyone can't just accept you for who you are, then they may not know what love is. Whether or not you want to keep being involved is your decision and yours only. Love doesn't just disappear in the wind, but you don't have to involve yourself in something where someone wants you to change. You have to keep your ground, and say...I am me, and true love will go above and beyond any flaws.

Just some thoughts... thanks for reading if you did. Please feel free to add anything you please, to what you may think what love is or what it should be. What you have experienced.

 

[Sterling]

I do somewhat agree that love is acceptance.

I've personally never been in 'love', so what I have to say may have no significance. Though, in my opinion, love is making a personal decision that you want a person for who they are, flaws and all, and compromising over the ones you can't stand about each other. Making memories together, good and bad, but neither of you would choose to forget. Making and reaching goals together. Having a real life together...and in the end...even when death comes, you would choose to re-do it all a thousand times, knowing the end and pain you would experience. Because you'd rather have all the pain in the world knowing they're gone than to miss out on having a lifetime without them. That's just my thoughts on it...

 

[ShybutHi]

Unfortunatly most people are deluded into believing the object of their attraction is or has to be subjectively perfect or close to. So some are doomed if you have outward personality flaws, especially if they are social related ones and in conjunction with not being physically attractive.

 

[Okiedokes]

Oh yeah, having social issues alone for some reason can be a problem to some. I think when you have someone who is very social with someone who is not...there's an interference when going out to do everyday things. The one is always chattering away while the other doesn't want to. Nothing wrong with either, but it just doesn't work well if two people can't understand each other.

As for looks..yep.. but if you don't have the personality with it, it doesn't work also. Either way you look at it in the end it doesn't seem to work out if one is opposed to something important UNLESS there is compromise and acceptance.

 

[ShybutHi]

Possibly yeah it depends. I know a couple, the guy is a bit introverted and his gf is quite extroverted. It is funny though because besides that, they compliment each other really well, she sort of makes him become more involved in conversations and a bit more confident while he tones her down and makes sure she doesnt go off on one... lol

 

[lolgirl]

yes, but when she has to deny herself for years to match him because he tunes her out because he doesn't want to listen or is wrapped up in his on world. Does he calm her? Yes, but to what degree and how much does she lose of herself. How long can she keep it up? Denying her true self? If he is slightly bent in that direction and her slightly in the other fine. But when it is the total oppisite..... you better re-think that before commintting to a life time. Be sure.

 

[Okiedokes]

Definitely. Nobody should tune each other out like that no matter the differences. There should always be open communication. It's not good to lose yourself in any situation.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I love Renae every much. Living with her isnt always easy.
As unconditional as I try to love her...there's certain things Renae dose that
I cant tolerate or have the stomuch for. She's a cutter...amoungs many other
flaws or unheathy behaviors.

I used the word unhealthy...becuase i wish not to judge her as being good or bad.
I can distinguish her from her actions or behaviors.

I also know Renae carries alot of pains, anger, hurt in her heart just the same.
She also suffers lots of depression.

She also makes unhealthy decisions..knowing she's making wrong decisions.
Sometimes she dosnt give a fresia...Other times she can be a very self-fish person.

Sometimes she tries her best...Other times she dosnt try at all.
Sometimes her best isnt worth a fresia or it fucks up anyway.

Renae also have alot of positive or healthy behaviors.

She's beautiful to me. She's always have been beautiful and will always be beautiful to me.
For whatever time... we choose or by fath we get to share our lives together...I am greatful.
Im not compairing her to anyone...on the inside or outside.
I love her and she loves me. Im not compairing our love and relationship to anyone else or anything else.
Our love...it is what it is.

Me???....
Im far from perfect too...

 

[kamya]

Just posting to say I read this. Hi.

Good points I think. According this though I love a lot of people Maybe I'm a little TOO accepting. =P

 

[Okiedokes]

It's ok to "love" people..in fact it's good. The regular kind of love for friends can be similar to a relationship however you take away the physical and emotional (intimacy) aspects and you have "friends".

 

[lonelyfairy]

I agree with your post. There is always two sides of the coin. Good sides and ''bad'' sides. No one is perfect. Love is not about giving up. That's why there is so much divorcies too, I think... People give up so easily. Though, some relationships are not so healthy, and I understand if someone wants to break up or divorce. And even those little flaws can make someone so attractive.

 

[Okiedokes]

Right..... I agree..sometimes flaws can be cute or just... give the person character whether it's physical or mental. :]

 

[ladyforsaken]

Well said, Okiedokes. I gotta say I agree with nearly every word you said.