Just needed a quick vent and place to let it out

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Waldo P. Schmeer

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I just needed a quick vent to myself before the day I'm ABOUT to have and have literally nowhere else in the world to do. So I just need to get it off my chest. Excuse me.

I find it wholly ironic how much time of my adult life I have spent in hospitals and helping my parents through health scares and crisis. An inordinate amount of time actually. So much so, that more times than often, it interfered with my life. I've lost relationships. I've lost opportunities to study, to travel. I've lost friends and missed out on unquantifiable amounts of time doing things that matter to me, just to help them.

And when I think back to my childhood, they wouldn't take me or my siblings to the doctor unless our very lives were in danger. I'm talking about we had to have pneumonia or it be a life threatening condition to even leave the house. I know that can be construed one of those quirky "my parents had unorthodox parenting techniques" jokes. Except its not a joke. As I reflect on my life, I realize that they didn't take us to check ups or doctors out of general apathy. Apathy has been there way of life. They lived life so care free. Never worked. Didn't get involved in our lives. Nothing. Just had a general apathy towards life. And I, who really COULD benefit from living a life left alone, cannot live that way. Because I am busy cleaning up their shit and helping them live the kind of life that could have only been cultivated through their stone cold ignorance.
 

Lemonbalm

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I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, Waldo. I can relate - my own parents were very apathetic towards me. I even had to bribe them to go to my wedding. It wasn't that they had any objections to the person I was marrying, or that the wedding was too far to travel to - it was literally 2 miles from their house. They just couldn't be bothered to make the effort to go.

You're obviously a good and selfless person to do everything you do for your parents, despite the fact they never did much for you. I hope things get easier for you soon. In the meantime, vent here as much as you need to!
 

Letssmiletogether

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Sad. I can relate. My parents didn't love me or relate to me in any emotionally supportive way. Friends asked if I was adopted. Even adopted kids had more love and affection than I did.
It's taken a whole life time to write that. I now have distance. They are there but I'm no longer seeking out from them what I couldn't get.
 
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