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Life - My first REAL rap song (audio and lyrics)

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Azariah

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This is my first real rap song, 16 bars and all.

Lyrics:

1. yo check it out, yo check it out, yo check it out, im a rap a-

2 bout what i feel, im a rap about what is real, is life really

3. real or is it just a dream we can't escape from, who are you? who

4. am i? and why do we try so hard to get by? i don't know why

5. little kids got to cry and old folks have to die, someone tell me

6. why, someone tell me why, is God up in the sky and does

7. he even care that life is a nightmare? is it really fair for

8. for(mess up) us to cry out in despair, there must be a reason for all

9. the pain and tears, humankind has suffered for thousands of years, when

10. will it end? will we pretend that nothing is wrong and that human-

11. kind will never get along? if i could die just to give this world

12. peace my soul would finally be at ease, if i could die just to

13. give this world peace, my soul would finally be at ease I love this

14. world so much, i don't want to die, but if my death shall end your pain

15. then remember me i did not die in vain, i'll be smiling from

16. above looking down at all the beautiful people that i love
 
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TheSkaFish

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Congrats on your first song! Did you make the beats, and the guitar as well?

I like your contemplative theme. The music works well for that. The drawings/slideshow is cool too, I take it those are your own?

But for constructive criticism, I would say work on your flow, your delivery. Rap is all about laid-back, almost effortless cool. It should sound smooth, not deliberate - something you can picture people chilling to. If you haven't already, work on memorizing your lyrics, so you can focus more on your flow/delivery - so you don't have to think as much about what you're saying, but how you're saying it.

You could work on more lyrical complexity too, but it's alright for now, that can come in time. I'd say the number one thing you could do to make the song better today, is to focus on getting a more laid-back flow. Maybe try rapping like your favorite artists. Imitation is OK to start, just to get you going - it takes a while to find your own style and voice.

Either way kudos for putting yourself out there and making a first try, remember that most people don't become great in a day, and keep up the good work (y)
 
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Azariah

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Thank you. I know I could work on my flow and delivery. I just need to practice more. Thanks for listening!
 

Azariah

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And no i did not create the beat. got it off youtube.
 

Azariah

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Congrats on your first song! Did you make the beats, and the guitar as well?

I like your contemplative theme. The music works well for that. The drawings/slideshow is cool too, I take it those are your own?

But for constructive criticism, I would say work on your flow, your delivery. Rap is all about laid-back, almost effortless cool. It should sound smooth, not deliberate - something you can picture people chilling to. If you haven't already, work on memorizing your lyrics, so you can focus more on your flow/delivery - so you don't have to think as much about what you're saying, but how you're saying it.

You could work on more lyrical complexity too, but it's alright for now, that can come in time. I'd say the number one thing you could do to make the song better today, is to focus on getting a more laid-back flow. Maybe try rapping like your favorite artists. Imitation is OK to start, just to get you going - it takes a while to find your own style and voice.

Either way kudos for putting yourself out there and making a first try, remember that most people don't become great in a day, and keep up the good work (y)

Honestly I think the content carried the song.
 

Azariah

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continued lyrics:

so don't cry for me, my soul is finally free

I do this for my family and pray you live happily

when I'm gone please don't cry

know that I was at peace when i said good bye
 

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