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Nnn

Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2022
Messages
8
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Location
Austria
Hi everyone, newbie here!
I’m 28 years old. I have depression and I’m hypochondriac because of a trauma I had last year that still affects me. I have nightmares atleast once or twice a week if I’m lucky and they won’t stop. Nobody knows about this. Nobody knows that I’m suffering inside because I don’t want to bother the few people I have around me, so I pretend that life is perfect. Which is okay because I chose not to tell anyone, but I think it would just help even from a stranger to hear someone tell me that everything is going to be okay.. that’s all I want. I’m sorry for the long paragraph. I wish you all the best.
 
That isn't a long paragraph. And welcome to the forum.

It can be helpful to vent and/or talk to strangers about your issues, but if the people in your life care about you, they will have your back. I'm not telling you that you should tell them, I'm just saying you should consider it. Holding it in will likely only make it worse. I know, that's likely why you're here.

Have you considered therapy?
Feel free to vent or get it out on the forum or you can PM me if you want. :)
 
This is why I already love it here. Caring people are just the best. thank you so much. Yes I’ve considered going to a psychiatrist but there are pretty expensive but im going to seek help. My anxiety has been worse lately I’m obsessing over anything health related and as soon as I notice the smallest thing like this weird itching I have right now it’s driving me insane. since my last years trauma all I can think of is that I have cancer. And I imagine what I would look like bald if I had chemo and then I plan out my death, just in case. I just wanna be prepared in case I get diagnosed… that if I can actually go to the doctor because just the thought of going makes me shiver and panic.
 
Is there a reason for the itch? Like a rash or something. Stress and anxiety can trigger health issues, so that might be the cause of that.

As for the cancer part, is there any reason (like family history) that you think you might have it?

Try thinking about just today, the future will bring what it brings, but the future isn't here yet. Also, don't forget to breathe. Maybe try making a gratitude list to help you see the positives in your life.
 
Nobody knows that I’m suffering inside because I don’t want to bother the few people I have around me, so I pretend that life is perfect. Which is okay because I chose not to tell anyone, but I think it would just help even from a stranger to hear someone tell me that everything is going to be okay.. that’s all I want. I’m sorry for the long paragraph. I wish you all the best.
Welcome to the forum! Everything will be okay!

IMO, it can be good not to focus on your suffering. Pretending on the outside can sometimes make the inside feel better. I practice laugh and smile therapy. It helps. It also helps to be able to find atleast one person to be able to tell your problems to. My dad and I did that for each other until he died.
 
Is there a reason for the itch? Like a rash or something. Stress and anxiety can trigger health issues, so that might be the cause of that.

As for the cancer part, is there any reason (like family history) that you think you might have it?

Try thinking about just today, the future will bring what it brings, but the future isn't here yet. Also, don't forget to breathe. Maybe try making a gratitude list to help you see the positives in your life.
Yeah it’s true I do get stressed because of anxiety. I’ve also noticed this weird yellowness on my tongue lately that doesn’t seem to go away and I’ve read it’s either something with the bile or the liver. my mom said it looked normal but she is not a doc. And since I have severe anxiety I can’t go to a doctor just the thought makes my heart race and panic really badly... as in i could actually faint. If its cakcee ive been trying to prepare how I’d look like bald with a chemo and ive thought about my death wishes. so I’m going to see a psychiatrist who will hopefully give me some medication to calm down atleast for the day where I have the appointment.
 
Welcome to the forum! Everything will be okay!

IMO, it can be good not to focus on your suffering. Pretending on the outside can sometimes make the inside feel better. I practice laugh and smile therapy. It helps. It also helps to be able to find atleast one person to be able to tell your problems to. My dad and I did that for each other until he died.
You are so right. That’s what I do with others and it does help in the moment. but as soon as I’m alone the anxiety and loneliness creeps and sinks in
 
my mom said it looked normal but she is not a doc
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you aren't a doc either. And since you know you are a hypochondriac, wouldn't that make your mother's assessment more credible? Also, how much ginger tea do you drink? Could that be discoloring your tongue?

I would definitely say you need to get into a doctor, have some bloodwork done and see if you're healthy. Do you have a doc that you normally go to that may already know about your anxiety issues with doctors? Maybe you could ask if they can get you a sedative to calm you down before you go? Not sure how all that works over in your country.

Do you take anything else, like over the counter supplements or anything?
 
Well I have two autoimmune diseases ( lupus and sjogrens) and I have a rheumatologist who I went to last December and he told me to come for a Check up between June and July and he wanted me to get my organs checked before just in case because lupus could affect them. Nobody knows about my extreme fear of doctors in front of everyone I act funny and strong and as soon as I’m home and I remember that I need to make an appointment I cry my eyes, hyperventilate and my whole body shivers just at the thought of it. And no I don’t drink ginger too often, just coffee twice a day.
and yeah i will ask for a sedative , I don’t see any other way to face this extreme anxiety.
thank you for taking your time to read all of this and for responding ☺️
 
Oh yeah I take quite a few supplements since I’m obsessed with my health, like milk thistle for liver ( but Ive stopped taking it for two weeks now because I’m not drinking alcohol at the moment because of my tongue ), then curcuma, vitamin d , magnesium. then I have antioxidan powder that I mix with my daily yoghurt and my green powder which I recently starting putting in my smoothie which has spinach and other great things for the immune systeme. and the rest like omega 3 and calcium I get from my food because I know every exact food and I know every exact vitamin it contains I’m totally obsessed with that. I even recently bought Manuka honey worth 90€ to help and cure me. I’ve become more picky that I already was with food since I noticed my tongue I’m kind of trying to heal it myself before getting diagnosed with cancer. if it’s cancer. I don’t know I’m going crazy
 
I'm going to go out on a limb and say you aren't a doc either. And since you know you are a hypochondriac, wouldn't that make your mother's assessment more credible? Also, how much ginger tea do you drink? Could that be discoloring your tongue?

I would definitely say you need to get into a doctor, have some bloodwork done and see if you're healthy. Do you have a doc that you normally go to that may already know about your anxiety issues with doctors? Maybe you could ask if they can get you a sedative to calm you down before you go? Not sure how all that works over in your country.

Do you take anything else, like over the counter supplements or anything?
Callie, you always give insightful advice.
 
Welcome to the forum. Knowing is better than not knowing. Perhaps you can do a telehealth visit. Relax, you are young, everything will be OK.
 
I know a few people who have issues with going to the doctor. Not as bad as you, though. Do they tell you that you have high blood pressure? The people I know who have doctor anxiety always have a higher BP on that day, but it's fine any other day.

The Curcuma could be the cause of the yellow tongue. Turmeric (curcuma) is known to discolor things. I drink turmeric tea sometimes and my tongue is kind of yellowish after drinking it. I assume you've researched all the supplements you are taking to be sure none have negative interactions with each other and/or not taking too much of any one thing?

I do think you definitely need to get to a regular doctor to reassure you that you're healthy and get those organs checked like your other doc wants you to, but I think a therapist/psychiatrist may be more helpful for you to get your anxiety and stress under control. Stress and anxiety can really mess with your health if it goes unchecked. Would going to a therapist (not a psychiatrist, just a counselor) be as taxing to you as going to a doctor?
 

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