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Lonely in my marriage

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Lonelycaliguy28

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Hi, this is my first post on this forum and I was wondering if there was someone else feeling like I do. I’ve been married to my wife for 11 years, we have no kids and we live more like roommates. There’s little to no affection, no intimacy or romance for at least 3-4 years. I feel very lonely, I miss having someone sweet and affectionate to be there for me. I miss intimacy, closeness, the romantic gestures. Unfortunately divorce is not an option because of a legal matter. I wish I had a friend that maybe was on the same situation and was close to me or at least we could have a special friendship where we could make each other happy and fill our lives with love again. I’m 42 live in California.
 

Minus

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I am sure there are a lot of people who feel like you do. If you are talking about running around on your wife, I don't believe that is the answer.

Welcome.
 

JJW

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If you are talking about running around on your wife, I don't believe that is the answer.
I'll agree with this. Isn't an affair actually cheating on two people?

My wife and I drifted apart decades ago. She will never see it, but she is a selfish person that can't compromise at all. We live as roommates only because I've learned to submit. My other option is to suppress her. That's just not me.

I must have faked affection for a dozen years. These last dozen I've not tried. She has her side of the house and I have mine. We discussed divorce, but I needed her health insurance, and together there are tax breaks. It's not like I have anywhere to go. I can be lonely alone or I can be lonely together. Together is cheaper.

With us it's just a matter of no more love. We don't hate each other and we don't fight. If one or the other of us has a reason to divorce then okay. It's a not a hard choice. But in the meanwhile I don't see the point in paying a lawyer to cancel a contract that neither of us put any stock into. Isn't that what marriage is? A contract? And aren't contracts between two people so one can control the other? Doesn't that sort of indicate a lack of trust?

When I go I'll just go. There is no law saying married people have to live together.
 

getfuzzy

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Hi, this is my first post on this forum and I was wondering if there was someone else feeling like I do. I’ve been married to my wife for 11 years, we have no kids and we live more like roommates. There’s little to no affection, no intimacy or romance for at least 3-4 years. I feel very lonely, I miss having someone sweet and affectionate to be there for me. I miss intimacy, closeness, the romantic gestures. Unfortunately divorce is not an option because of a legal matter. I wish I had a friend that maybe was on the same situation and was close to me or at least we could have a special friendship where we could make each other happy and fill our lives with love again. I’m 42 live in California.
I share your same experiences in my loveless marriage. It's been a lonely existence. Having a close friend to support all of these years would have certainly helped.
 

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