lonelyness

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I have many a friends and a loving girlfriend but i feel so isolated and lonely. The wait of expectation from them to be me as they see me, leaves me feeling like i'm never really me. And when I am on my own i take part in self-destructive activities, I hate spending time with myself, because frankly i don't really like who I seem to be inside. Lately i seem to becoming 'me' more than ever and feel retisent and disechanted by life, i've lost all rewards systems and feel worthless when i try and do something so I end up doing nothing.

I want to be able to smile from inside rather than moving my mouth muscles.
 
I'm with you, buddy.
Basically, nothing is all I ever do. I guess for the same reason. I'd rather think about what I could do and try to make it seem good in my mind without ever turning it into reality.

How does your inner self exactly differ from what all the other people see on the outside? Are you afraid that they wouldn't like who you are inside? And if so, do you think you're so much worse from what your friends find good about you?

Could it be that you "just" feel the weight of loneliness that separates all human beings from one another? That neither of us can ever be truly understood by another? If that's the case... well, I'm still grappling with this fact. I wish I had never ever read that particular article...
 

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