Long term loneliness effects

[solonely20]

Just like when I first used my left hand after using my right to masturbate for years I quickly changed hands due to the feeling of unfamiliarity and frankly it was uncomfortable. This is how I think I'll feel if I get got close to a girl since I never have or close to friends as it's been since high school 10+ years that I had any friends. Loneliness can kill you mentally and tell you, "this is not for you" and, "stick to what you know".

I've thought for a while that after being lonely so long and becoming familiar with it, I'm incapable of changing. It's like a demon inside tells me, if you become more outgoing though it's against my nature, I'll make a fool out of myself or people will laugh at me as people usually do.

It's shocking the things loneliness can do to a person and how others can sense it and then indirectly laugh at you for it due to your awkwardness.

 

[Finished]

I agree with that. I'm so use to not speaking to others that when I do my head hurts and I have somewhat intense feelings afterwards of doing something wrong. I think to myself WTF! I didn't do anything wrong. So, why am I feeling like this? Luckily the feelings go away after a few hours and everything is normal again. It becomes more and more difficult to change our normalcy, especially after many years, no matter how non-normal our normalcy has become for us. To be honest I just a soon be a deaf mute. Speaking to others is pointless. Although, some sounds are pleasant, most of what I hear is just noise that irritates me like constant barking from dogs, loud stereos, and crap BS lies and useless commercials on the TV and radio.

 

[HorseLatitudes]

I cant help u with that feeling since being extroverted even for a little time is just as exausting as running from the police for me, and the after thoughts oh boy, I still have memories of cringy things Ive said to random people that probably doesnt even remember me, but it helps to believe its a common thing, like everbody feels that, ive seein memes about the subject and stuff

also, because of our low self esteem we will always believe that we are being judged and that we must fit and be valuated by others, is our heads playing tricks, all people is equal, you are nobody's clown, they should be cool and impress you as well, why is always you that should be judge?

 

[Finished]

Well, we are all constantly judging each other, at minimum, sub-consciously. As animals, we are programmed to evaluate situations and then react to them. The feeling is not from low self-steam. It's reality. The problem is focusing on being judged. Not doing that is easier said then done.