It seems that this forum is in dire need of new topic, so I’d like to ask if anyone of you lonely people has ever tried it. It used to be a great place to meet people and make friends. As everything else, it got ruined by …. we the people! We just can‘t have nice things anymore. Basically, you join groups by location and interest. I am including link to Meetup however feel free to ask anything, I organized a social group for 5 Years.
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TropicalStarfish
Well-known member
I gave it a go a few times. I always get screwed though by how the website engages you; and I end up in the new-age/atheist section. Which is fine, I just don't want to, 'meet up,' under those circumstances, I guess. The local atheist church is less and less interesting to me lately. As far as everything else goes, it's always under some bullshit, 'self-improvement,' pretext, like there isn't enough of that. It's a very hit or miss sort of thing; and I don't have it in me, to miss 100 times just to hit once. And if people aren't *******, 'hiking,' they are meeting at some stupid bar, filling their stupid mouths with shitty food and drinks. And then, being a painfully single and lonely male, kinda says it all right there from the start. Not to mention my social status game is pretty (very, very) low; and my social game in general is pretty low. I could always join the shy people club; and then have to deal with all the extroverts who are just pretending or self-convinced they are introverts; which, arguably would help things along to some degree; but, then it's just the same old bullshit, just a bit more low-key.
I inherited group leadership of a local buddhist group once; and met up with one of the members. I thought a traditional Japanese Tea ceremony meet up would be neat; but, she shot down the idea. I guess it wasn't a Bhuddisty enough idea, lol.
Then throw in a healthy dose of data mining, profiling, and selling information to 3rd parties, yablahblahblah.
But, if you play it right, and put in the effort, I'm sure it's a chance to, 'meet,' people. I guess one of the perks is the younger generation has probably lost their attention span for that site, so it's probably mostly 30's and up who still use it; but, of course, they all drink, and if they don't drink, they are probably just habituated to all the stuff people who believe they are addicts are habituated to.
I haven't had much luck with the whole affair. And then there is the problem of established groups, where there is a core membership who already knows each other, so you have to kind be in that awkward state of newness, if you want to involve yourself with anything.
fresia karaoke, fresia the bars, fresia the diners, fresia the **** hikes, fresia the self-improvement seminar on such and such topic, tired of it. Western culture is horse honeysuckle. If some one started a meetup where we learn archery and just take turns shooting arrows into the sky, that might be neat. Or maybe a traditional japanese tea ceremony, that'd be neat.
I inherited group leadership of a local buddhist group once; and met up with one of the members. I thought a traditional Japanese Tea ceremony meet up would be neat; but, she shot down the idea. I guess it wasn't a Bhuddisty enough idea, lol.
Then throw in a healthy dose of data mining, profiling, and selling information to 3rd parties, yablahblahblah.
But, if you play it right, and put in the effort, I'm sure it's a chance to, 'meet,' people. I guess one of the perks is the younger generation has probably lost their attention span for that site, so it's probably mostly 30's and up who still use it; but, of course, they all drink, and if they don't drink, they are probably just habituated to all the stuff people who believe they are addicts are habituated to.
I haven't had much luck with the whole affair. And then there is the problem of established groups, where there is a core membership who already knows each other, so you have to kind be in that awkward state of newness, if you want to involve yourself with anything.
fresia karaoke, fresia the bars, fresia the diners, fresia the **** hikes, fresia the self-improvement seminar on such and such topic, tired of it. Western culture is horse honeysuckle. If some one started a meetup where we learn archery and just take turns shooting arrows into the sky, that might be neat. Or maybe a traditional japanese tea ceremony, that'd be neat.
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TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Meetup isn't an option for me unless I want to drive at least an hour. Ain't nobody got time for that...or at least I don't.
Meetup s
Meetup started in 2002, and I only heard about it in 2013, when I became a member and like you, later inherited a group. So, I have seen both sides of the coin and as you might imagine, being an organizer for five years, I have much to say about people and group dynamics. Despite it being ruined, once by the people, then by WeWork, I believe some people would be able to find a way to engage. If there isn’t group to join, you can start your own group and I wish you luck. Hardest thing I ever did. I truly enjoyed it, many ups and down, but at the end I had to admit defeat. I created variety of events, something for everyone. Members who benefited most are the ones who followed my advice - you don’t have to own a dog to come to a dog park or a dog walk. You don’t have to bowl, to come and hang out. Arts festivals, poetry nights, road trips, you name it I did it. There was an event in town to join, “pillow fight” which no one RSVP to attend. I had no age restriction, I figured it would bring out younger crowd, but nah. So much for variety. Dining events always had most interest and I hated doing them, especially needing to make reservations and people just not showing up. Even though it’s not a dating site, most join in hopes of finding someone. Not friends, not fun, but a date. This mindset is a death sentence to a meetup group.
I quit organizing in 2018, so I am not familiar whits what it is like right now. When meetup went from group centric to event centric, it all went downhill for organizing. Meetup wasn’t interested in groups succeeding, its profits were in new groups forming. You are right regarding seminars, and money making schemes started by WeWork. Still, some may who try, may find real people, real fun, and real pain if they put the mind to it and manage expectations. During covid times, some meet through Zoom, I have no idea how that turns out, its likely people who already know one another, chatting away.
I forgot to address the rabbit hole of suggested groups. I kept telling members, sometimes less in more, where you are, be all there, but no. They compulsively joined until they drowned themselves with info of events they wouldn’t come to in a first place. Just an FYI for people who are considering trying it out.
Kris35
Active member
I've joined several Meetup groups over the years but I never stay. I usually go to one Meetup and then that's it for me because socializing is so hard for me. I also don't like going for drinks and meals as I'd rather do an activity so we can all be in the moment and talk about what we are doing. I've been thinking about starting an activity based Meetup but not got around to it yet.
I am sure you know some cost is involved in starting the group. If there is activity group already in your area, starting a new one would only splinter limited amount of people having free time or willingness to come. You’d be better off to see if organizer let’s members create events, or be appointed co-organizer. For that, organizer needs to feel comfortable that you aren’t an ax murderer and all will be fine. I think activity groups have higher rate of success than social groups. If someone likes reading, they feel safer attending book club meetup knowing exactly what to expect. When I joined, I wanted to be social, but when I started organizing I learned that most members are shy or introverted and despite growing group to 1k members, response will always be low. The hardest part is getting members attention. If you do get attention, be prepared that some will forget they RSVPd, or cancel last minute and you may find yourself stood up, all alone waiting. I learned the hard way, if I knew mindset I am dealing with, I would manage my expectations better. Creating active membership is not easy. If you do, there is a possibility of them liking each othe enough to abandon the group, and ride off into the sunset together. It happened to me numerous times. I felt like the Oprah of friend, “you got a friend, and you and you….” but I gotta start over. I truly could write a book about my experience, but it’s not book worthy and I am not a writer. Having said that, I already wrote too much, do not want to bore you. I encourage you to do it anyway. I had tons of fun before I couldn’t deal any longer.
user 181674
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I ended up leaving the groups I was in. The main one I was in was for golf. I would always show up to every event that rsvp'd - and I'm not just saying this, but because I wasn't as good a player as most of the people in the group, I just felt kind of out casted. It's because of what was said above, many of the people in the group had already played together and knew each other. I was new and still basically a beginner. I really tried to be friendly to everyone, would go out of my way to say "good morning" upon arrival, etc - but I swear, some of the people in the group would just straight up ignore me. And I know **** well they heard me. But anyway, I just didn't feel like I belonged, so I left. I belonged to a poker group and chess group too, but I left them also not because of the people per se, but because I really don't play either game much anymore.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
I'm not going to read a chapter. Succinctly, like a sentence, wtf is meet-up, and why the link?
I tried Meetup, but there were no groups at all near to where I live. I don't drive, and as I have some mobility problems there is a limit to how far I can get on public transport. The nearest groups would have taken me about an hour and a half to get to on at least 2 buses, which is a no no for me.
Sorry it happened to you, this is the nature of group dynamics. It also depends on organizer and how they deal with it. I tried to convey to core members the importance of embracing new members, with limited sucess. The “I got mine” attitude and cliques that form are very difficult to manage. I told them if I had the same attitude, none of them would have ever come back to a meetup, and they wouldn’t have met. Still they thought I spend too much energy on new people instead of coddling the core, so they peeled off and I had to start from 0.
youcouldnevertell
Well-known member
Was meant to go to a meetup 10 years ago. But an hour before I was meant to make my way there, I just started crying and freaking out. I'd been worrying about the outcome all week. In the end I had to call the group leader to tell them I wasn't coming so I missed out. Haven't tried going to one since
Bratwurst0516
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That website is a joke. When it comes to religion. I found more groups that are anti-religion. Than those centered on religion.
If it’s of any consolation, it’s more a norm than an exception for people to get cold feet. I would always reach out and encourage these who wrote they are shy or anxious to attend. For most if they come out and have a good time, afterwards is like riding a bicycle.
I would agree that meetup has become a joke, but for you I strongly recommend churches.
Bratwurst0516
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I already am involved with church. In the pandemic situation we are in. I thought there might be some (virtual)church groups. But, None really exist on the site.
Adamridge79
Mr Bakerman
There has to be virtual church rooms, right? I mean, considering the proliferation of religion, I would think they have to at least exist.
idaniel
Active member
My experience - I lived near a major city in Texas where there is an abundance of meetup groups. I met my former partner through meetup. She introduced me to the kings and queens (my words) of social meetups on the SE side of our city. For myself I went to a few anxiety meetups, special interests, and social meetups. So I have experienced groups in meetup.com quite a few times.
My personal experience is that it's a mixed bag for me. Good, bad, and sometimes weird. Not enough good to keep me going back for more. If you want to meet friends that way, you need to be really persistent, and willing to fail over and over. I'm neither of those. I will still go to meetups, but my mindset is to just enjoy temporary company with like-minded people who I probably will never see again.
My personal experience is that it's a mixed bag for me. Good, bad, and sometimes weird. Not enough good to keep me going back for more. If you want to meet friends that way, you need to be really persistent, and willing to fail over and over. I'm neither of those. I will still go to meetups, but my mindset is to just enjoy temporary company with like-minded people who I probably will never see again.
Your assessment in right on, meetup is like a 12 step program, it works if you work it. Managing expectations is a must. Despite being, good bad and ugly, I would recommend people try it if there is an opportunity in the area and loneliness if something they wish to overcome. I recommend supporting a group that has a good organizer even if it means showing up for events you aren‘t interested in. Organizers are people too, lol showing up for numerous blind dates and love to see a familiar face.
I went to a few Meetup groups in order to learn to be more social. Instead I realized that I really don't like being around groups of people especially when they are trying really hard to show how great they are at something. It seemed like only a few were actually interested in having fun with the activities.
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