Mini rant- First impressions

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Okay so bare with me on this story...

There I was, surrounded by my class mates in the counselling course thingy I am doing...
It was a great day, we all learnt so much so we went to a cheeky lunch at one of my fave restaurants.
We decided to play a game of first impressions, and everyone was doing really friendly ones...
Then it got to me... yeps... of course the script must flip when it comes to me...
The guy... some African man... said his first impression of me was that I am stupid...
I was really hurt by that comment, loads of people rushed to my defence but this... this is always the way.
I am always the girl everyone loves to pick on... I didn't say anything horrible back, I never do.
I actually get full marks on the tests, higher than him every time so funny who the actual idiot is...
He started to back track since the whole table sort of rushed to my defence, and as nice as it was to have support...
I hate feeling like a victim...
Just smile and say, "Thank you for your participation." Remember ;)
 

sunflowergirl1306

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First impressions game? That sounds like a really bad idea. People generally don’t want honesty and the truth and just because he said it was his impression of you doesn’t make it the truth about you. He was just saying what he thought per the name of the game. Sometimes people associate attractive, bubbly, and fun as air-headedness. Is it wrong? Absolutely. Will people continue to do it? Absolutely. Should you feel insulted? No. You know who you are and that’s the only truth that should matter. Your truth. From his perspective he may be feeling as though he did what was asked of him and in doing so he was the outsider. He was the one that didn’t say something nice but what he thought. Then, maybe he felt isolated by the group because they all rallied behind you. That might be his truth. Perhaps he is the person that is always on the sidelines. You say you are always picked on but what other people do and say to us does not define us. Maybe I’m way off base but this is just my take on that. Prejudices will always exist. Im a red-head, you would not believe the things that have been said to me based on stereotypes.
This is very true,all that ever really matters is what you think of yourself,you know yourself,and that's all that counts and matters,no one knows you better than you do.
 

CenotaphGirl

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This is very true,all that ever really matters is what you think of yourself,you know yourself,and that's all that counts and matters,no one knows you better than you do.
Yeah its so true, I hate feeling like the world is against me, feeds into the social anxiety, however, in some ways...maybe its better to think like that, then I won't be shocked/hurt every time it happens.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Rubbish.
You're young, that's all.
You can't expect people under the age of 27 - 30 to just have answers to things in life.
They haven't had lived life experiences to get those answers yet. 🤷‍♂️
You are cute though. :sneaky:(y)

Just let that bullshit roll off your shoulders.
If it's not gonna threaten your life or your bank account, than don't let it weigh on your mind.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Rubbish.
You're young, that's all.
You can't expect people under the age of 27 - 30 to just have answers to things in life.
They haven't had lived life experiences to get those answers yet. 🤷‍♂️
You are cute though. :sneaky:(y)

Just let that bullshit roll off your shoulders.
If it's not gonna threaten your life or your bank account, than don't let it weigh on your mind.
It ruined my bank account, all the retail therapy I need after someone upsets me should be illegal lol. I joke, but cheers, I dont even know why I care, I don't think it was all him, I think it was just the putting myself out there to get shot down aspect more than anything, after sleeping on it and thinking about my feelings all night, you know?
 

TropicalStarfish

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You are in a counseling class and went to lunch with a bunch of the members there? Or did all the members go to the lunch? Seems an odd situation to be in, in the first place..

I wouldn't want to know most people in a group counseling setting, heh. I'm not really clear on the setting and context.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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It ruined my bank account, all the retail therapy I need after someone upsets me should be illegal lol. I joke, but cheers, I dont even know why I care, I don't think it was all him, I think it was just the putting myself out there to get shot down aspect more than anything, after sleeping on it and thinking about my feelings all night, you know?

I am also terrible at first impressions.
Nobody is naturally confident, not really anyhow.
That **** takes time to build, and it's easily broken for a while until you get used to it.
That's totally natural.

Actually, there's a really fascinating historical metaphor in the Eridu Genesis of the Sumerian King List about how Eridu, the first city, was built.

It's written that the Gods made humans to serve them, and that the first task given to humans was to "raise the land from below the water so that they could stand."

Eridu was built on the marshland bank of the Euphrates River, which swells during the Summer from rainfall.
They would build, the river would swell, their homes were destroyed, and they would then build again on top of the rubble.

This was repeated so many times that eventually the rubble accumulated and artificially raised the level of the land from below the water line of the Summer swelling of the river, effectively "raising the land from below the water so that they could stand."

That's kind of how confidence is built in life.
It doesn't just come naturally, not for anybody.
🤗
 

CenotaphGirl

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You are in a counseling class and went to lunch with a bunch of the members there? Or did all the members go to the lunch? Seems an odd situation to be in, in the first place..

I wouldn't want to know most people in a group counseling setting, heh. I'm not really clear on the setting and context.

Ah so I am studying to be a counsellor, and after class, me and all the other students went to lunch together. I usually go straight home, but I thought ahhh fineee I'll go, what's the worst that can happen lol. Someone at the table suggested a "first impressions game" and everyone started to play and say playful lighthearted things like mine to some guy was "My first impression of you was that you are a party animal lolz" Like nothing offensive. When it got to me, it was really negative like "you are an idiot". Just totally uncalled for.
 

TropicalStarfish

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Ah so I am studying to be a counsellor, and after class, me and all the other students went to lunch together. I usually go straight home, but I thought ahhh fineee I'll go, what's the worst that can happen lol. Someone at the table suggested a "first impressions game" and everyone started to play and say playful lighthearted things like mine to some guy was "My first impression of you was that you are a party animal lolz" Like nothing offensive. When it got to me, it was really negative like "you are an idiot". Just totally uncalled for.
That's poopy. :(

Why do you think they said that? What was your first impression of them?
 

Francis

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if you had self awareness you'd be wondering why you took his comment so personally. look, if your personality type (ENFJ on the MBTI scale) values manners, decency (the absolute minimum of expectations), relaxation, obliqueness and easiness positively, of course anyone who showcases truthfulness or acuracy would upset you since it goes against your values. you wanted the game to be platitudinal and tokenistic but it went too far so you make a post that is persnickety. and the words platitudinal, tokenistic, and persnickety are all the same type; your type. and people still dont believe what im saying is true when i can dissect whole minds, their emotions, and their dynamic with other minds in just a few words.
 

Francis

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He seems like the least suitable type of person to be involved in counselling. Edit: Oh and ignore the ^ "I can dissect minds!" idiot
oh, hi...you. T000 is commonality and death porn (death of enemies making for great porn to masturbate to...or at least thats how Tauri see the world). You being Tauri have T000 as a BASELINE, so think about that as you try to snuff me. you depend on normality and commonality, having things in common, its your only way to 'connect' with others (which is why you snuff out originality.) You're an unfeeling machine made out of flesh and that's how you think of yourself and describe yourself. All hail the lowest common denominator! the common man! the HUMBLE man! who is so very humble he violently snuffs anyone who dares ask questions. I definitely dont buy your posts in which you snuff out pedos, since Tauri have a loly fetish in T000. T000 sanctimoniously snuffs out sinners (with a gun or through prison time) while hypocritically being sinners themselves. So they'll say, snuff out a pedophile while being a pedophile.
 

howdidifindmyselfhere?

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Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it. The realization that we probably shouldn't of done something after we done it, but it's good that you went along and took part. I myself probably would of just headed for home leaving the others to it, the game may well of still come up, and they may even of carried on as if you were there with them all giving there first impressions of you behind your back. Not sure if that would have hurt more though.

As someone else has already said may be he is attracted to you, seems a very weird way to me to go about showing this though, but hay what do I know about showing someone that I'm attracted to them.

Tell me, in the group how popular is he compared to you? Maybe in some way he feels threaten by you in some way, (you already said that you did better in the tests than he did). Maybe he is not the alpha leader of the group that he feels he should be, maybe the center of attention is leaning more towards you than him and he wanted to try and shift the focus.

I would really try not to over think about it, not easy at times I know. First impressions are exactly that, first impressions.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it. The realization that we probably shouldn't of done something after we done it, but it's good that you went along and took part. I myself probably would of just headed for home leaving the others to it, the game may well of still come up, and they may even of carried on as if you were there with them all giving there first impressions of you behind your back. Not sure if that would have hurt more though.

As someone else has already said may be he is attracted to you, seems a very weird way to me to go about showing this though, but hay what do I know about showing someone that I'm attracted to them.

Tell me, in the group how popular is he compared to you? Maybe in some way he feels threaten by you in some way, (you already said that you did better in the tests than he did). Maybe he is not the alpha leader of the group that he feels he should be, maybe the center of attention is leaning more towards you than him and he wanted to try and shift the focus.

I would really try not to over think about it, not easy at times I know. First impressions are exactly that, first impressions.
It's totally the best thing ever! If I knew it would have went down like that I would have just went home like I usually do, curse my need for constant exposure therapy. I really thought, there was no wayyyy going could be as bad as I imagine... however, it was worse lol.

Mehh I really dont get an attracted vibe from him but maybe, men seem to be mean when they wanna bed me lol its a common trait among them...

Honestly, I wouldn't even say I am popular, but people probably think im nicer than him, he comes off so serious...

I'll try to shrug it off but can be hard for me, I tend to read into things a little too much. But cheers, nice to see your perspective.
 

Asylum

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oh, hi...you. T000 is commonality and death porn (death of enemies making for great porn to masturbate to...or at least thats how Tauri see the world). You being Tauri have T000 as a BASELINE, so think about that as you try to snuff me. you depend on normality and commonality, having things in common, its your only way to 'connect' with others (which is why you snuff out originality.) You're an unfeeling machine made out of flesh and that's how you think of yourself and describe yourself. All hail the lowest common denominator! the common man! the HUMBLE man! who is so very humble he violently snuffs anyone who dares ask questions. I definitely dont buy your posts in which you snuff out pedos, since Tauri have a loly fetish in T000. T000 sanctimoniously snuffs out sinners (with a gun or through prison time) while hypocritically being sinners themselves. So they'll say, snuff out a pedophile while being a pedophile.

what the hell did I just read? 🤔
 

Francis

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what the hell did I just read? 🤔

you just enjoy the F100 'strangeness' of the knowledge, but its your own mind thats in the way. Ive already taught people of your personality type the truth about themselves, so i know you can grasp it, but i hate talking to you. you're like Jah Jah Binks. your type has meaninglesness as a baseline in F000. you mention Alice in Wonderland and memes, which are F000 'meaningless' or F101 'gibberish' respectively. Interpretation is an Angel value which you cant acess. the username says it all, asylums are where F101 insane people go, as in F101 'everything wrong'. oh, wait...and everything is wrong with you. youre all so easy to read.
 

Asylum

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you just enjoy the F100 'strangeness' of the knowledge, but its your own mind thats in the way. Ive already taught people of your personality type the truth about themselves, so i know you can grasp it, but i hate talking to you. you're like Jah Jah Binks. your type has meaninglesness as a baseline in F000. you mention Alice in Wonderland and memes, which are F000 'meaningless' or F101 'gibberish' respectively. Interpretation is an Angel value which you cant acess.

And you can go drink a nice big ol cup of go **** yourself. 🥤
 
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