More men are single and lonely then ever before. The solution? They need to man-up.

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NoxApex(N/A)

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My hero! 🥰

But honestly Apexie why are men sooooo lonely? Why cant they even have guy friends ?

In terms of platonic friendships?
The longest amount of time I've spent alone was 3 months.
3 months with no internet, television, game console, all my friends had moved out of town, and I was scraping by on my bills on half of a former paycheck until I could move out of town. I think it's that you don't typically plan to end up in a situation like that, is the thing. It just sort of happens. In my particular instance, I was living in a college city at the time, where people move in and out of all of the time. Being social usually costs money in cities, money that you can't rationalize spending when you have bills. So unless you have some solidly built friendships, the barrel falls out at the bottom sotospeak.

In terms of romantic or sexual relationships?
I honestly don't really know.
I mean I have off days, everyone that's human does, but even while I was in my recovery period from my former longest relationship I was cognitively aware the whole time of the social conditioning that I was shedding about my preconceived notions of reality. In that instance, I think that for a lot of people, both men and women, the notion that they have been mislead or lied to as children is perhaps scarier than a continued adherence to that misleading or to those lies that perpetuate a false state of reality among the parameters of what they find comfortable. Or simply put: It's less painful to believe in a Disney love story than to believe in the reality that child stories are made for children because they aren't real, that's why they're stories, works of fiction, instead of history and fact.
 

insecure

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I think men in general are less sociable than women.
For example, upon retirement there are a lot more men that feel useless and lonely than women.
This is because many men have their social contacts from people they know in the workplace, whereas many women have friends outside of their workplace too.
 
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Men and women typically want different things, many men like overweight women, men like young women. Most women like strong men, forget the abs and blah blah, what we like (not all but most check the stats…for the women who are going to harp on about how much they like men who are weak) is to feel protected.
I like skinny women.

I'm quite strong and partially ripped because I've always done manly type work and I exercise, hike, etc, etc, etc. With my shirt off I look impressive especially for being mid 50s. My back is a nice vee shape and strong as hell. But, when I put my shirt on I just look like some other skinny old dude. Also I have no problem getting into a physical fight and can kick some ass. I'd give my life without thinking twice to protect someone I loved. Yet, I don't appear like I could do any harm. So, I'm passed over.

A couple times at a bar, where I rode the Harley that I completely rebuilt and painted myself, a woman said she'd love to just find a guy with a nice bike that wasn't a total jerk. So, I stepped forward and said I have a nice bike and I'm only partly a jerk. They laughed and said I probably couldn't even figure out how to take the wheel off my bike. And, that was the end of their interest in me.

Everything is about appearances not what truths lie behind them.
 

michael2

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"For me a woman's ultimate value is her empathy, and tenderness."

Could you honestly say you would date someone who looked like Roseanne Bar or Susan Boyle if they happened to have those qualities? Inevitably there are going to be women you wouldn't find attractive either. The positive side of the gym advice is that it's a simple, straightforward course of action that is at least doable for most, and worth a try at least.

...What, are you busy with something else right now?

Physical attractiveness isn't limited to women, it can be found in men. However I do not know any men who act truly feminine/girly. That's why I value that in women more then anything else, because its completely unique to their gender. Of course for me to be attracted romantically to a woman she needs to have a certain level of attractiveness that I like. However I can find feminine/girly traits endearing even in ugly women.

The first issue I have with the gym advice is that its asking men to work harder, not smarter. The second issue I have with the advice is that it somehow insinuates men aren't doing enough to make themselves attractive to women, as if we have somehow taken a big step back. Women are twice as likely to be obese as men. So who really needs to hit the gym?

It says men need to up their game. Why? What have women done that has made them suddenly more valuable leaving men in a sprint to catch up?

So my advice to men would be to start working smarter, not harder. First, stop giving women free attention. Stop praising their instagram, twitter, and facebook photos. Stop sucking up to them in the friend zone. If she puts you in the friend zone and you only want a romantic relationship with her, cut her off. Stop praising her, stop doing things for her in the hopes one day she will start a relationship with you. She won't. I've had to do this. The moment I even get the inkling I'm in the friend zone I cut her off. But I know guys who will suck up to her for many months in the hopes she changes her mind or something. If she put you in the friend zone, she's not for you and not worth it.

And to keep the trend of men working smarter, not harder, get off dating sites. These are unbelievable skewed in favor of women. It's pointless for 95% of men to try and compete against hundreds of other men for one woman's attention. All this does is boost a woman's ego and deflate 95% of men's egos. If men abandoned dating sites tomorrow women would freak out and their expectations of what type of partner they can reasonably obtain will plummet to more reasonable levels. Get off dating sites and meet women in public.

Now, if men want to worker harder, work on your hobbies, work on learning new skills or on subjects that interest you. Become the best version of you, whatever that may be so its plainly visible to someone who may be interested. Yes, you should go to the gym or fix your diet if you are overweight. It's unreasonable to expect your partner to be in shape but not you yourself.


I feel like a totally untypical man, I am not a macho, and I don't want to become one.
I try to do some sports, but this is not so as to look more attractive, but more because it is healthier.
I think the people who write this kind of article have a complete lack of empathy, and think that what works for them should work for everyone.
It's the kind of failed logic such as "I wear glasses, I've never had a problem with finding a partner, so everyone should wear glasses".
The last thing I want is to pretend to be someone I am not, just to be attractive to a certain woman.
If a woman likes me, or even loves me, I want it to be for loving me, not for being in love with some kind of stereotypical male.

I agree and I can relate. I am an untypical man as well. Its hard when you dont fall into a stereotype because most people dislike what they cant understand, at least right away.
 
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StarDust

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I'm quite strong and partially ripped because I've always done manly type work and I exercise, hike, etc, etc, etc. With my shirt off I look impressive especially for being mid 50s. My back is a nice vee shape and strong as hell.
😍 Oh, stop teasing! 😉
 
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😍 Oh, stop teasing! 😉
BTW, most of my life I've had less then 5% body fat. While in the military, according to them, I had less then 2% body fat. They didn't think it was possible so they tested me several different ways. It was never above 2%. I had / still have so little body fat that I can not float.
 

StarDust

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On a night out with the ladies👩‍💼👩‍🦰👩‍🦱 many moons ago 🌟🌙 we discussed past relationships and the ultimate end of those relationships. Consensus came to be..... A relationship success or failure came to be on how that person made you feel about yourself. 🤔
 

vng2015

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Thank you -- a very interesting topic.

I am a 53 yo Autistic male weighing 156 kg. I have no job. I am heterosexual. I have never been looking for a girlfriend -- that was always beyond my abilities. Not never, but since High School.

Since I have graduated from University with Master's in Chemistry, I had little offline contact except for my family of origin. I am looking for male friends -- maybe through Zoom or Jitsi.
 

Azariah

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What about the men who are single but NOT lonely?.?

I don't even know why im on this 'lonely' site tbh? well maybe i do.... lmao
 

ardour

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Physical attractiveness isn't limited to women, it can be found in men. However I do not know any men who act truly feminine/girly. That's why I value that in women more then anything else, because its completely unique to their gender. Of course for me to be attracted romantically to a woman she needs to have a certain level of attractiveness that I like. However I can find feminine/girly traits endearing even in ugly women.

The first issue I have with the gym advice is that its asking men to work harder, not smarter. The second issue I have with the advice is that it somehow insinuates men aren't doing enough to make themselves attractive to women, as if we have somehow taken a big step back. Women are twice as likely to be obese as men. So who really needs to hit the gym?

It says men need to up their game. Why? What have women done that has made them suddenly more valuable leaving men in a sprint to catch up?

So my advice to men would be to start working smarter, not harder. First, stop giving women free attention. Stop praising their instagram, twitter, and facebook photos. Stop sucking up to them in the friend zone. If she puts you in the friend zone and you only want a romantic relationship with her, cut her off. Stop praising her, stop doing things for her in the hopes one day she will start a relationship with you. She won't. I've had to do this. The moment I even get the inkling I'm in the friend zone I cut her off. But I know guys who will suck up to her for many months in the hopes she changes her mind or something. If she put you in the friend zone, she's not for you and not worth it.

And to keep the trend of men working smarter, not harder, get off dating sites. These are unbelievable skewed in favor of women. It's pointless for 95% of men to try and compete against hundreds of other men for one woman's attention. All this does is boost a woman's ego and deflate 95% of men's egos. If men abandoned dating sites tomorrow women would freak out and their expectations of what type of partner they can reasonably obtain will plummet to more reasonable levels. Get off dating sites and meet women in public.

Now, if men want to worker harder, work on your hobbies, work on learning new skills or on subjects that interest you. Become the best version of you, whatever that may be so its plainly visible to someone who may be interested. Yes, you should go to the gym or fix your diet if you are overweight. It's unreasonable to expect your partner to be in shape but not you yourself.




I agree and I can relate. I am an untypical man as well. Its hard when you dont fall into a stereotype because most people dislike what they cant understand, at least right away.

I agree there are some double standards, but that alone isn't a reason not to make yourself look as good as possible. And let's be honest, at our ages the bar is set pretty low. In the 5 years I've been going to the gym I've noticed fewer than a dozen people over 35.

If you get toned, dress well, then you could feasibly be in the top 30% of men your age appearance wise just due to the fact that most people start turning into - to be blunt - sedentary blobs who look for any excuse to duck out of physical activity. I mean, ****, some of the popular arsehole guys in my school looked middle aged by the time they were 28. It's an obvious course of action, and at least something to fill in time and aim for. And something that can actually be worked on without the direct cooperation of others (unlike social skills, flirting, etc).

You're still a man, you still have testosterone flowing through you, your status can't change that.
 
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michael2

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I agree there are some double standards, but that alone isn't a reason not to make yourself look as good as possible. And let's be honest, at our ages the bar is set pretty low. In the 5 years I've been going to the gym I've noticed fewer than a dozen people over 35.

If you get toned, dress well, then you could feasibly be in the top 30% of men your age appearance wise just due to the fact that most people start turning into - to be blunt - sedentary blobs who look for any excuse to duck out of physical activity. I mean, ****, some of the popular arsehole guys in my school looked middle aged by the time they were 28. It's an obvious course of action, and at least something to fill in time and aim for. And something that can actually be worked on without the direct cooperation of others (unlike social skills, flirting, etc).

You're still a man, you still have testosterone flowing through you, your status can't change that.

Yeah, the bar is set pretty low, especially for men over 35.

I don't think people realize that exceptionally good looking men and women are actually rare. The vast majority of people are 3-5 out of 10 looks-wise. Even people with a 7/10 face are hard to come by. You may see two or three a day.

I have a 4/10 face, but my weight is healthy (5'10", 170lbs) and I dress sharp. This automatically puts me in the top 30% as you say because I beat out all the 4s and 5s or less by simply being in shape and dressing sharp. A guy with a 7/10 face who dresses like a bum and is slightly out of shape will still beat me in terms of attractiveness, but it shouldn't matter because there's not alot of 7/10 or better guys like him.

So the issue is most women are either on social media or on some kind of dating app. And they're getting complimented by or hit on by 7/10 or better guys who just like to flirt and get female attention. So they think they should have a chance with a guy that attractive, and they look at guys who are equal to them in attractiveness as settling for something when they think can do better.

So yeah if I add muscle to my frame, well, maybe I can start to beat out some 6/10 guys. It's just that, intellectually, the whole thing is so stupid to me and thus the lack of motivation to try and go through with it. I mean c'mon people, why does someone's body carry so much weight in your attraction to them? How does that make them a better boyfriend/girlfriend? I mean this crazy social media, celebrity idolizing world that we live in that obsesses over the superficial like someone's physique....is the guy gonna use all those muscles to wake up at 3 in the morning to help you with the crying baby? Is the guy gonna use all those muscles to not cheat on you, or not flirt with his new cute co-worker? Is the guy gonna use all those muscles to truly care about your happiness and well being?

I know people will say, 'oh, it's biology, people are attracted to healthy, strong looking mates'. And what do I say? How about growing up? How about becoming emotionally intelligent, stepping back, looking at yourself and make a conscious effort to be a better person who sees past the superficial. Yes, it is possible. Stop being a slave to impulses and primitive, basic desires. Stop being the same person mentally at 30 that you were at 15.
 

insecure

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But why can't it be both, though? 😆
So while one sexy android is going off to work you cheat on her with another android?
And then, when she comes home from work, you quickly whisper to the other android to hide in the cupboard?
:ROFLMAO:
 

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