My AD

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Night89

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Joined
Nov 29, 2022
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Location
Somewhere north
I've been diagnosed with Aspergers last year. As i look back upon my life it fills me with mostly depressive memories and how things could have been. I remember having conversations with folks and situations when i was misunderstood. This happens also currently resulting in actions that i regret. Misunderstand me right here though i don't blame my Aspergers on everything bad and attribute it to everything good, i don't want to live by the diagnosis if you know what i mean.

I was bullied in school due to my Aspergers and when chatting with persons i have only afterwards realised their intentions. In a way I'd like to live as a hermit but i want to live "normally" what that now constitutes. People say that abnormal is something that should be celebrated, but unfortunately that isn't the case. My experience is that people look down on and stereotype illnesses. This i an interesting topic, it's like people like to bash on each other or use it to their advantage in society. For instance people say "oh he's so retarded" or "he's..this or that" and or "what a pity my child has AD".

It fills me with hurt looking back on my life. Psychiatrists and mental health people has said to me with right attitude that you need to look forward. I can attest to that and i don't, hurt from the past still haunts me, not only bullying but how people including my family has seen me as slow or bizarre. I was nearly put into special class due to my AD. This also fills me with hurt, because i feel now that I'm sort of an alien in school setting. Here i can also mention that norms make people more sick then they actually are. When society narrows how a person should be, look or do then people become sick. So it's after al a question on degree whether someone is sick or not. What I'm getting at is the view that AD is not an illness but a way to function that deviates from the "norm".

It sounds fine huh, but reality is harsher...misunderstanding on an outer and inner view on the world and what I am. I'm to healthy to be sick, to sick to be healthy...

I'm now in a phase when i'm in a way mending or adapting and understanding especially the later of myself. I cannot live my life again but i can cope of live with my AD. I've preliminary signed up for a class in social functions. Hopefully this can help me cope with life.

My AD is not al negative though, I have several hobbies that I'm heavily invested in, so nothing bad that has some positives i guess..
 
People are who say the thing that you pointed out unfortunately are not to uncommon, i might be wrong. But the morning shows those people tend to occupy the sofa and either point out their or their child's struggle with whatever or say things that are common sense.
 

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