Hi, I've created a plan for myself inspired by the book "59 seconds: think a little, change a lot", maybe it's super-silly or overly mechanical, but I'd love some feedback. Is the plan sound, is there something I can add or remove to get closer to my goal? Something you think I should reconsider? I'd prefer the plan to actually be step-by-step, instead of all the steps at the same time. But I feel the steps don't lend themselves to that.
So, here it is:
My overall goal is to connect better with people, to form more relationships (friends, girlfriends), but mostly to find a partner I love and like.
Step 1:
My first sub-goal is to smile more at people and give them friendly eye-contact so that I can easily get eye-contact and a smile back. This will make them feel better about me, and more open to a relationship.
I believe I can achieve this goal because it’s easy to practice (outside, I don’t have to be afraid of having to talk) and can gradually make it part of day-to-day businesses
To achieve this sub-goal, I will smile and make eye-contact with people on the streets, on the subway, in work, in shops. Whenever possible, I shouldn’t shy my eyes away or frown. I will also revise my appearance so that I’m sure I look friendly and inviting, and a bit flirtatious, so I get the best (appropriate) smile, the best amount of eye-contact.
This will be achieved by the following date 08/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be a tour with a personal shopper to get some nice clothes
Step 2:
My second sub-goal is to make my apartment more inviting socially.
I believe I can achieve this goal because I can get inspiration from home magazines, pictures, etc. It’s also easy to dish out the money and I like a cozy apartment.
To achieve this sub-goal, I will get the furniture, TV with some kind of console. Have things to play, things to watch, things to read. Board games, rubik’s cube, stuff like that. It should also be stocked with different kinds of alcohols, other things to drink (coffee, etc). A good music system.
This will be achieved by the following date 07/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be throwing a party for old and new friends and colleagues.
Step 3:
My third sub-goal is to meet more people 1on1 in different settings, at least 20 new persons every two weeks
I believe I can achieve this goal because I’m interested in trying out new hobbies and things to do, and I like talking to people
To achieve this sub-goal, I will continue talking to new girls on dating sites, maybe sign up to more pages (even non-dating oriented, like meetup). I will try to spend as little time as possible alone at home, preferring reading and eating outside, going to events, etc. Be very open to proposals to hang out. I will take different classes that interest me.
This will be achieved by the following date 10/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be 10 movies I find interesting, funny, whatever. A bit more “complex” movies
Step 4:
My fourth sub-goal is to become better at striking up conversations with strangers and carry on a conversation, to become a better conversationalist. The goal is to have at least 10 non-work related conversations that are longer than at least 2 back-and-forth every day that I feel have been successful and not awkward.
I believe I can achieve this goal because I usually have things to relate with
To achieve this sub-goal, I will study to become a better conversationalist, try to identify why conversations can go awkward. Get rid of nervousness and learn how to approach people (and how to do that often), and especially people I haven’t talked much to/strangers
This will be achieved by the following date 10/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be two days off-work
Step 5:
My fifth sub-goal is to become a more interesting person, short term: to attend at least 7 areas of interest (going to cafés to read, work on projects, playing an instrument, make music, take some classes, working) and minimize the amount of time on the Internet to 3 hours/day. long term: go on events, skiing, ice skating, concerts, travel at least once every two months
I believe I can achieve this goal because I’m interested in many different things, and I’m bored with sitting home often. I’ve done that already.
To achieve this sub-goal, I will push for more events, be more outgoing, be open to doing things and trying things out. I will stop sitting at the computer by default and I will have a system for getting to know about new events and things to do (ie, know which movies are coming up, if there’s a band playing, or other things to do and try out)
This will be achieved by the following date 06/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be a trip to some place close by train or car, sleep at a hotel. go tourist, invite a friend to go with me
So, here it is:
My overall goal is to connect better with people, to form more relationships (friends, girlfriends), but mostly to find a partner I love and like.
Step 1:
My first sub-goal is to smile more at people and give them friendly eye-contact so that I can easily get eye-contact and a smile back. This will make them feel better about me, and more open to a relationship.
I believe I can achieve this goal because it’s easy to practice (outside, I don’t have to be afraid of having to talk) and can gradually make it part of day-to-day businesses
To achieve this sub-goal, I will smile and make eye-contact with people on the streets, on the subway, in work, in shops. Whenever possible, I shouldn’t shy my eyes away or frown. I will also revise my appearance so that I’m sure I look friendly and inviting, and a bit flirtatious, so I get the best (appropriate) smile, the best amount of eye-contact.
This will be achieved by the following date 08/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be a tour with a personal shopper to get some nice clothes
Step 2:
My second sub-goal is to make my apartment more inviting socially.
I believe I can achieve this goal because I can get inspiration from home magazines, pictures, etc. It’s also easy to dish out the money and I like a cozy apartment.
To achieve this sub-goal, I will get the furniture, TV with some kind of console. Have things to play, things to watch, things to read. Board games, rubik’s cube, stuff like that. It should also be stocked with different kinds of alcohols, other things to drink (coffee, etc). A good music system.
This will be achieved by the following date 07/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be throwing a party for old and new friends and colleagues.
Step 3:
My third sub-goal is to meet more people 1on1 in different settings, at least 20 new persons every two weeks
I believe I can achieve this goal because I’m interested in trying out new hobbies and things to do, and I like talking to people
To achieve this sub-goal, I will continue talking to new girls on dating sites, maybe sign up to more pages (even non-dating oriented, like meetup). I will try to spend as little time as possible alone at home, preferring reading and eating outside, going to events, etc. Be very open to proposals to hang out. I will take different classes that interest me.
This will be achieved by the following date 10/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be 10 movies I find interesting, funny, whatever. A bit more “complex” movies
Step 4:
My fourth sub-goal is to become better at striking up conversations with strangers and carry on a conversation, to become a better conversationalist. The goal is to have at least 10 non-work related conversations that are longer than at least 2 back-and-forth every day that I feel have been successful and not awkward.
I believe I can achieve this goal because I usually have things to relate with
To achieve this sub-goal, I will study to become a better conversationalist, try to identify why conversations can go awkward. Get rid of nervousness and learn how to approach people (and how to do that often), and especially people I haven’t talked much to/strangers
This will be achieved by the following date 10/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be two days off-work
Step 5:
My fifth sub-goal is to become a more interesting person, short term: to attend at least 7 areas of interest (going to cafés to read, work on projects, playing an instrument, make music, take some classes, working) and minimize the amount of time on the Internet to 3 hours/day. long term: go on events, skiing, ice skating, concerts, travel at least once every two months
I believe I can achieve this goal because I’m interested in many different things, and I’m bored with sitting home often. I’ve done that already.
To achieve this sub-goal, I will push for more events, be more outgoing, be open to doing things and trying things out. I will stop sitting at the computer by default and I will have a system for getting to know about new events and things to do (ie, know which movies are coming up, if there’s a band playing, or other things to do and try out)
This will be achieved by the following date 06/01/12
My reward for achieving this will be a trip to some place close by train or car, sleep at a hotel. go tourist, invite a friend to go with me
