Jilted John
Well-known member
Ha,ha,okay.
My Cookie!
- Thread starter Arnie
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Jilted John
Well-known member
John sits on a log in the wood,where so many adventures had taken place in the "cookie thread" He thinks of the fun he had defeating the devious characters,in the various plots to steal each others cookies.
He wished now,that he hadn't been so rash in dumping the thread,just because he'd had a s**t weekend.
As John sat there,he noticed a cookie,left over from one of those bygone scuffles,sitting on the log next to him.He picked it up,and stood and turned to walk out of the wood into the glorious setting sun,munching as he walked.
My cookie!
He wished now,that he hadn't been so rash in dumping the thread,just because he'd had a s**t weekend.
As John sat there,he noticed a cookie,left over from one of those bygone scuffles,sitting on the log next to him.He picked it up,and stood and turned to walk out of the wood into the glorious setting sun,munching as he walked.
My cookie!
ThatOneGirl
Well-known member
Just then, Courtney comes swinging from a vine (Robin Hood style) and kicks John who throws the cookie into the air. Courtney grabs the cookie and lands on a tree branch where she sits to finish eating the cookie!
My cookie!
My cookie!
Jilted John
Well-known member
John picks himself up,and looks at the hand where the cookie had been,it was cookieless,sans cookie,just a space where a cookie once was! "What just happened?" thought John to himself.Just then,he notices cookie crumbs falling from above,and as he looks up,he sees that whacky Texan broad,Courtney,sitting on a branch eating HIS cookie!
John pulls from his "nasty creature" pocket,a big furry Tarantula,which he placed on the tree trunk,and watched as it quickly climbed up into the branches. Less than a minute later,there was the most hysterical scream from the branches,and a cookie fell right into Johns out stretched fingers. "Yah still got it son!" said John,as he strode out of the woods in a different direction this time,for he reckoned those **** sunsets were getting unlucky!
My cookie!
John pulls from his "nasty creature" pocket,a big furry Tarantula,which he placed on the tree trunk,and watched as it quickly climbed up into the branches. Less than a minute later,there was the most hysterical scream from the branches,and a cookie fell right into Johns out stretched fingers. "Yah still got it son!" said John,as he strode out of the woods in a different direction this time,for he reckoned those **** sunsets were getting unlucky!
My cookie!
John comes to a clearing in the woods that appears to be an old asphalt parking lot. He steps into the clearing and sinks to his waist. A tar pit! Just then he hears a voice behind him say "give me your hand." John turns and reaches towards the voice with his hand. Arnie takes the cookie from John's hand. Arnie says "thanks buddy" and walks off into the sunset.
My cookie!
My cookie!
Jilted John
Well-known member
John waits for a few hours,to see if Courtney might join the thread to get him out of this predicament,but no,she ain't comin!
So,John wades out of the parking lot yet to be,and disposes of his tar encrusted trousers,underpants,socks and shoes.
Now,naked from the waist down,he sets off in hot pursuit of Arnie,that two faced,alien loving,don't care if you die in a tar pit,little honeysuckle!
Walking with both hands in front of him,to try to cover his more than well endowed manhood,John soon catches up with his prey.He finds Arnie sat upon yet another log,("where do all these freakin logs keep coming from?") thought John. He strode over to where Arnie sat,put out both of his hands and said "Okay Arnie,hand it over!"
At the sight of John's enormous dong,Arnie dropped the cookie,and fainted. John quickly grabbed the cookie,and Arnie's pants and shoes,and strolled off into the sunset.
My cookie! (and your pants!)
So,John wades out of the parking lot yet to be,and disposes of his tar encrusted trousers,underpants,socks and shoes.
Now,naked from the waist down,he sets off in hot pursuit of Arnie,that two faced,alien loving,don't care if you die in a tar pit,little honeysuckle!
Walking with both hands in front of him,to try to cover his more than well endowed manhood,John soon catches up with his prey.He finds Arnie sat upon yet another log,("where do all these freakin logs keep coming from?") thought John. He strode over to where Arnie sat,put out both of his hands and said "Okay Arnie,hand it over!"
At the sight of John's enormous dong,Arnie dropped the cookie,and fainted. John quickly grabbed the cookie,and Arnie's pants and shoes,and strolled off into the sunset.
My cookie! (and your pants!)
ThatOneGirl
Well-known member
Jilted John said:
Sorry, wasn't around. Too tired to think of anything good. lol You seem to have gotten yourself out of that situation just fine. lol.
Arnie wakes up screaming “IT’S ALIVE! IT’S ALIVE!” Sweet Pee is there. She explains that Little honeysuckle (who is now a turd) is in cahoots with John and had projected a holodeck simulation to make him faint. “John is not well endowed.” she says and adds “I have body scans to prove it!” She offers to turn the tables on John with some more Wild Thing, but Arnie asks “Can you do Super Freak this time?” She does and John is bombarded by Super Freak emanating from all directions. John begins dancing wildly to the music. He pulls out Arnie’s headless pocket dummy and begins dancing with it. In doing so he tosses the cookie aside. Arnie is there to snatch the cookie and make a quick get away off into the sunset thinking “That’s a mental image I didn’t need!”
[video=youtube]
My Cookie!
[video=youtube]
My Cookie!
[video=youtube]
MY COOKIE
MY COOKIE
Jilted John
Well-known member
John awoke from his nightmare,covered in sweat,"Dancing with Arnie's headless dummy,to the voice of Super Freak,I can handle,but f**king Rick Astley?" he thought,and immediately threw up on the floor,narrowly missing Arnie's stolen pants. John thought "There must be some alien influence here,nobody dreams that bad." And then it dawned on him! "It's that ***** of a girl friend of Arnie's, Sweet Pee!"
John pulled,from his special pocket,his trusty cookie sniffer,and set it off. Not long afterwards it stopped and bleeped as John caught up with it.John stopped and listened,and there,was the unmistakable voice of Arnie, and his ***** alien girlfriend Sweet Pee! They were sitting on yet another log,doing rude things to each other!
After John threw up quietly,he crept up behind them,and reached into his,really weird pocket,and pulled out a packet of of "Really Unlucky honeysuckle Happening" powder.He tore off the top,and sprinkled the contents over the heads of the love crazed couple. Within seconds,a big branch fell on Arnie's head,Sweet Pee stood up,and ran to help him,but tripped over a rock,underneath which was a rattle snake which bit Arnie on the wrist,releasing the cookie he had still been nibbling,whilst doing rude things with the Zogonian broad!
The cookie rolled into John's hand,just as a wasp's nest fell from the same tree,and hit Arnie on the head which really pissed off the wasps,John walked off into the sunset,accompanied by the sounds of "ZZZ,Ow,Ow ZZZ! munching his cookie.
My cookie!
John pulled,from his special pocket,his trusty cookie sniffer,and set it off. Not long afterwards it stopped and bleeped as John caught up with it.John stopped and listened,and there,was the unmistakable voice of Arnie, and his ***** alien girlfriend Sweet Pee! They were sitting on yet another log,doing rude things to each other!
After John threw up quietly,he crept up behind them,and reached into his,really weird pocket,and pulled out a packet of of "Really Unlucky honeysuckle Happening" powder.He tore off the top,and sprinkled the contents over the heads of the love crazed couple. Within seconds,a big branch fell on Arnie's head,Sweet Pee stood up,and ran to help him,but tripped over a rock,underneath which was a rattle snake which bit Arnie on the wrist,releasing the cookie he had still been nibbling,whilst doing rude things with the Zogonian broad!
The cookie rolled into John's hand,just as a wasp's nest fell from the same tree,and hit Arnie on the head which really pissed off the wasps,John walked off into the sunset,accompanied by the sounds of "ZZZ,Ow,Ow ZZZ! munching his cookie.
My cookie!
Arnie doesn't have the cookie, I do. 
Jilted John
Well-known member
Argh s**t!
Do you know how long that took me to do one fingered?
Okay,well just change the names,do me a a favour,I been drinking!
Do you know how long that took me to do one fingered?
Okay,well just change the names,do me a a favour,I been drinking!
Yellow Eyes
Well-known member
BIG BOOBS!!!
MY COOKIE!!
MY COOKIE!!
Jilted John
Well-known member
That's not fair!!!
ROFL!!
Jilted John
Well-known member
Where'd Arnie go,little s**t,that guy drives me nuts!
ThatOneGirl
Well-known member
You need to calm down. >.>
Jilted John
Well-known member
I was kidding,love him really
Jilted John
Well-known member
Well Arnie,looks like the thread's dead,but I enjoyed it while it lasted.Haven't laughed so much in years!
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