My mother, who have mental issues after a stroke
My mother had a stroke long time ago, she was 40, now she is 62.
She have cognitive issues that are not new. She have short memory loss, she get lost doing simple math like 47+52, she gets trouble understanding 1 minute is 60 seconds, so 80 seconds is more than 1 minute.
But worst of all is her temper. She is always talking about problems, and maximazing every situation. Talking bad about her neighbours, the family of my father (they divorced 20 years ago and she havent seen them in that time).
Its just annoying to listen her complain.
But, the thing is that she gets angry with me by unimportant things.
She also hoards, and doesnt clean the house, she gets when I try to clean the house or tidy the house. The house is an absolute mess and its disgusting to be there. The floor is dirty and because there is so much sturr over the house its hard to clean it or even walk around.
Ill tell her that its hard for me to be there, I cant walk, and to please lets tide up the house a bit so I can be comfortable when I go to visit her (she lives alone), she replies me like if I said one of the worse things possible and I only want to make troubles.
Today I decided to clean a small internal backyard she have. I used an electric grass cutter for that, she have the cabble of the cutter in a bag, when I finished I saw the bag was too small, and it would be better to put the cables on a bigger bag so its easier to store the cables.
We were having an ok day, we were waiting for the meal to get done, so because I was with empty time I started cleaning the backyard.
I went and told her about better use a bigger bag, she didnt like my comment very much, I knew she could react hesitant, because she hates about making changes, but sometimes she doesnt makes such a big big deal of it. She also she likes to store big amounts of plastic bags, so its like gold to her. She gave me even a smaller bag, but anyway I found a slightly bigger one in another place. So the backyard task was done, and before store the cables I wanted to show her the new bag so she knows where the cables are, she gets easily lost with small changes, I told her "mom, look, this is where I putted the cables", and she said in a sarcastic way "yes sir, yes, what else do you need sir?"
I just lost it. In momments like that 1 have 2 options: 1_ suck up all the hate that produces me see how my mother is mocking me ane acting like a ********* with me, or just loose my mind and tell her to go fresia her self, I went for the last.
I was so pissed off, telling her "whats wrong with you, how you can reply that, we were having a good day, now you just ruined for a plastic bag ??". Its long to describe, buy I just lost my mind. I curse, etc.
The worse part, for me. Is that I feel so sad. I just want to have a good day with my mother and I cant. Im a calm person. I visit her every Saturday. I go to the store and try to buy what she needs. I pick up all her phone calls, and talk with her 20 minutes straight, even if Im tired, she calls to me 4 times even 5 times in 1 day.
And its just impossible to have a good day with her.
I see other people having a good family, and I have to deal with this hell.
Note: Im not looking for advices, this is just a vent and share this experience.
My mother had a stroke long time ago, she was 40, now she is 62.
She have cognitive issues that are not new. She have short memory loss, she get lost doing simple math like 47+52, she gets trouble understanding 1 minute is 60 seconds, so 80 seconds is more than 1 minute.
But worst of all is her temper. She is always talking about problems, and maximazing every situation. Talking bad about her neighbours, the family of my father (they divorced 20 years ago and she havent seen them in that time).
Its just annoying to listen her complain.
But, the thing is that she gets angry with me by unimportant things.
She also hoards, and doesnt clean the house, she gets when I try to clean the house or tidy the house. The house is an absolute mess and its disgusting to be there. The floor is dirty and because there is so much sturr over the house its hard to clean it or even walk around.
Ill tell her that its hard for me to be there, I cant walk, and to please lets tide up the house a bit so I can be comfortable when I go to visit her (she lives alone), she replies me like if I said one of the worse things possible and I only want to make troubles.
Today I decided to clean a small internal backyard she have. I used an electric grass cutter for that, she have the cabble of the cutter in a bag, when I finished I saw the bag was too small, and it would be better to put the cables on a bigger bag so its easier to store the cables.
We were having an ok day, we were waiting for the meal to get done, so because I was with empty time I started cleaning the backyard.
I went and told her about better use a bigger bag, she didnt like my comment very much, I knew she could react hesitant, because she hates about making changes, but sometimes she doesnt makes such a big big deal of it. She also she likes to store big amounts of plastic bags, so its like gold to her. She gave me even a smaller bag, but anyway I found a slightly bigger one in another place. So the backyard task was done, and before store the cables I wanted to show her the new bag so she knows where the cables are, she gets easily lost with small changes, I told her "mom, look, this is where I putted the cables", and she said in a sarcastic way "yes sir, yes, what else do you need sir?"
I just lost it. In momments like that 1 have 2 options: 1_ suck up all the hate that produces me see how my mother is mocking me ane acting like a ********* with me, or just loose my mind and tell her to go fresia her self, I went for the last.
I was so pissed off, telling her "whats wrong with you, how you can reply that, we were having a good day, now you just ruined for a plastic bag ??". Its long to describe, buy I just lost my mind. I curse, etc.
The worse part, for me. Is that I feel so sad. I just want to have a good day with my mother and I cant. Im a calm person. I visit her every Saturday. I go to the store and try to buy what she needs. I pick up all her phone calls, and talk with her 20 minutes straight, even if Im tired, she calls to me 4 times even 5 times in 1 day.
And its just impossible to have a good day with her.
I see other people having a good family, and I have to deal with this hell.
Note: Im not looking for advices, this is just a vent and share this experience.
